Nevaeh, Hope Moss [bts book recommendations .TXT] 📗

Tamara fidgets with the ring on her left finger as she waits for her name to be called, "Lord, Lord" she silently prays. "I know I don't pray like I should, but please God could you do me this one favor and not let this be happening to me again please Lord....." A loud shriek breaks through to her subconscious and she feels sticky hands grab her leg. She picks up Tasha her eighteen month old daughter who's face is sticky and covered in tears. She is trying to calm Tasha when her son's walk over to her. Jason Jr. (JJ) is six and Justin is four.
"Mommy, Mommy it wasn't me" screams Justin "It was JJ, Mommy him pushed Tasha and make her cry!"
JJ punches Justin on his arm causing him to cry," Shut up !! You fucking tattletale!!"
"Jason Jr., Watch your mouth boy."
Tamara sits there trying to calm her two youngest children, out of the corner of her eye she see's JJ kicking the blocks around that are in the waiting area for the kids.
"Shit you think she coulda found a babysitter for them bad ass bebe kids" whispers a woman to her friend on Tamara's left.
"Girl that couldn't be my kid, I would be in jail for whipping his ass" the other one sucks her teeth.
"Girl these young girls just keep shooting out these......"
Tamara does her best to drown out there conversation, "How did my life wind up down this road three kids and I'm only twenty-five years old. This is not how my life was supposed to be. I wanted to go to college...." She has finally calmed Justin and Tasha down. She reaches into Tasha's diaper bag to get some wipes to clean her off. She's sticky from the sucker the nurse had given her, she also has sticky handprints on Tamara's white shirt. "I shoulda known betta than to wear white" she looks at the stain disgusted.
"JJ come here."
" No, I don't feel like it!' he kicks another block across the floor.
"Jason!!!! Stop that right NOW!!"
He continues to kick the blocks and one hits one of the ladies sitting in the OB/GYN office. She apologizes to the lady, who rolls her eyes and shakes her head at Tamara. The receptionist looks out into the waiting area. "Ma'am I'm sorry but you're gonna have to make him sit down or we can give you another appointment. Tamara looks at the receptionist, "No he'll be okay,sorry for the trouble." she closes the window. Tamara sits Tasha on the seat, who immediately starts crying. She walks towards JJ.
"Boy if you don't stop right now!! I will whip yo lil black ass!!! She reaches out to grab him.
He crosses his arms across his chest." And I'ma tell my Daddy!!!" he screams.
That stops Tamara in her tracks.
"Tamara Thompson" calls the nurse from the doorway. Tamara collects her things and her kids to follow the nurse. As the door is closing she hears one of the woman in the waiting area remark, "God I hope she's not pregnant again" I pray the same thing Tamara says to herself.
The nurse gives her a cup to collect a urine sample, After she hands over her sample she is instructed to wait in exam room four for Dr. Richardson. She is given a thin gown and drape and asked to take off her clothing so that the doctor may examine her. Afterwards she sits on the table trembling hoping the Doctor hurries and thinks " They could give you a blanket to go with these paper thin ass gowns" trying to hold the front together. The kids have finally calmed down. Tasha is asleep, Justin is playing his video game and JJ is folding the five dollar bill Tamara had to give him to get him to act right. She shakes her head as she looks at her eldest. "I love him so much but what am I gonna do with him, he has so much anger in him, he acts just like Big Jason" she sighs. Tamara's thoughts are interrupted as Dr. Richardson and her nurse enter the room. Dr.Richardson is a short sista with a page boy hair cut. She stands about five two in heels and looks like she should be in high school instead of practicing medicine. Dr. Richardson wasn't her first choice but Jason refused to let her have a male Dr. When Jason first laid eyes on her, he made a joke about her height and Dr. Richardson put him in his place real quick. She told him " Excuse me Sir, but I don't get down with you like that', hand on her hip. "Your wife is my patient but I can and will bane you from my office. Jason wanted her to change Doctors, but this was the one thing she fought for.Dr. Richardson made her feel comfortable and had delivered all three of her kids.
Dr. Richardson opened the chart in her hand and smiles at Tamara, "Well Ms. Tamara girl I see congratulations are in order again" Tamara just stares at her.
'Tamara did you hear me?' she touches Tamara's shoulder, Tamara flinches from her touch and burst into tears.
"Come on, come on hurry up please." she glances at the clock 5:55. "Shit Jason would be home any minute and he liked dinner on the table exactly at six sharp.Tamara never could understand it, Sometimes he would not even be home at six but the food had to be on the table. Sometimes she thought about not fixing the meal at the right time, but then she would remember what happened when she didn't.
It was in the first year of their marriage. She was nineteen and happy with her married life. Her husband didn't want her to work, He said it was a man's job to provide and even though Tamara had worked since she was sixteen. She caved in to his demands, but they both agreed to talk about it once the baby was old enough for nursery. Jason was great, he gave her everything and he adored his newborn Jason Jr. They had been married eleven months and were still living like newlyweds, oh they had there little arguments but nothing serious until...
"Tamara,Tamara," she hears her name through her exhausted state. She opens her eyes at see's her husband standing over her. She smiles and sits up.
"Hi baby" she stretches.
Jason just stands there, Tamara can tell he's upset about something. Jason is what people call high yellow and whenever he's upset his ears and face get red and the veins in his temple jump. She jumps up "Jason!! Did something happen? Jason what is wrong?" whap Tamara grabs her face and stares at her young husband, shocked and hurt.
"Jason?"
whap, whap he hits Tamara again and again. She is stunned, he has never hit her before and she wonders, "What have I done?"
He grabs her by her hair and throws her on the bed. He pins her hands down at her waist with his knees, he continues to hit her in her face, Tamara can feel the blood in her mouth. Finally he exhausts himself and she cries out. "Jason, What did I do? Jason baby please talk to me!!" she pleads, more concerned about his pain then her own.
"Tamara what time is it?" She looks at him confused "What time is it Tamara? He asks calmly.
She looks at the clock on the nightstand six she mumbles, he slaps her across the face.
"I asked you a fucking question bitch, Speak up"
"It's six!" she says louder.
"What time is dinner supposed to be on the table" he asks her. "Look at me!!" he snaps.
"Six." she cries out.
"What time is it now?"
Tamara looks at the clock and says "Six-fifteen, she wipes at her left eye which is swollen and starting to tear up.
"I work hard all day while you stay home. What did you do all day Tamara? The house is not clean, so I know that's not it. I bet you talked to that dam no good ass LaKresha all day. I keep telling you, you are a married woman now. Time to leave the non-sense alone. All you have to do all day is care for my son, keep this house clean and have dinner on the table at six. Are you too stupid to do those simple things?" seems he's talking more to himself than to her. "My mother told me you were to young and dumb to start a family with" Tamara looks on speechless. She's afraid to utter a word, scared he'll remember she's here and hit her again. She wanted to tell him that his son had a bad earache, she had to sit at the doctors office half the day. Then JJ was cranky cause he was in pain, so it took hours to get him to sleep. She wanted to tell him how overwhelmed she felt, how helpless,She also wanted to tell him she planned on starting dinner, but after getting JJ down she decided to just rest a few minutes but must have dozed off. But all she did was get up and fix her husbands dinner, Yet he called his Mother and decided to eat dinner at her house....
Ding,ding,ding, The microwave had finally stopped and she poured the broccoli into a serving dish, she still had two minutes to spare.
It's eight o'clock and Big Jason is still not home, She wrapped his food and fed the boys hours ago. This is another thing she hated about Jason. Sometimes he wouldn't even show up for dinner, sometimes he wouldn't show up for days. She decided to just go to bed. She took her shower and got in bed. She is awakened by Jason roughly shoving his fingers in her dry vagina, she bats at the hand.
"Stop" Jason tells her and starts biting on her breast, she wants to make him stop. She just lies there hoping he'll hurry and leave her alone, but Jason bites down harder on her nipple, which are really sensitive because of her pregnancy and she starts to cry. Then she starts moving beneath Jason, knowing if she pretends to like it he'll be a little more gentle. Finally he releases his seed into her and falls asleep.
"ohhhh I hate him she whispers to his back" she gets as far on the other side of the bed as she can.
"Daddy, Mom said she was gonna whip my ass yesterday" JJ tells his father over breakfast the next morning, Tamara stops scrambling the eggs in the pan waiting for a reaction.
Jason looks at his son "Oh she did huh? What did you say Big Man?"
"That I was gonna tell my Daddy!!!!" he says proudly.
"Daddy, Daddy JJ pushed Tasha and made her cry!!" Jason backhands his youngest son, knocking him out his chair. Tamara wants to run to him but knows that would only make it worse on his son.
"Didn't I tell you the snitching is for bitches?" Are you a lil bitch Justin?"
Justin is doing his best to stop the tears "No"
"No what"
"No Sir I ain't no witch"
"It's bitch boy"
"No Sir I ain't no bitch" not even knowing what he is saying.
"Dad" JJ continues, "Yesterday, Jus tattled on me and when I hit him on his arm he ran crying to Mom like a baby" Tamara cut the fire off knowing what was coming. She hears Big Jason take off his belt and she hears Justin openly crying. The tension in