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Laying Me On My Side Putting My Head On His Chest. I Closed My Eyes As He Wrapped His Arms Around Me. He Kissed My Forehead As I Fell Into A Smooth Sleep. When I Awoke His Head Was Rested Over Mine With his Eyes Closed And His Cold Lips Pressed Again My Forehead. “Codie… Are you Awake?” I Whispered Into His ear. Mmm He Groaned. “Codie” I Whispered Once More. He Quickly Leaned Up. “Huh? .. Oh” He Smiled At Me. “I Didn’t Mean To Wake you, Im Sorry I Just Wanted To Know The Time” I Said Quietly. He Rubbed His Eyes A took Out His Phone From His Back Pocket. He Shook His Hair And Read His Phone. “Its 5:30am” He Said Still Sleepily. “Shit!..” I Cursed Standing Up Much Too Quickly. I Held Out My Hand And Lifted Him Off His Feet. His Sweatshirt Sleeves Were Rolled To His elbows Revealing Many, Many Scars. When He Noticed Me Starring He Rolled Them Up Quickly Looking Away, Keeping No Eye Contact. I Rolled Up Mine Showing My Scars As well Showing Him He Wasn’t Alone. He Looked Down And Paused In Shock. He Moved A Single Strand Of Hair Away from My Face And Rubbed His Hand Gently Across My Cheek. He Looked Into My Eyes Will A Still Focus. He Leaned In To Kiss Me. As I Wrapped My Arm Around The Back Of His Neck I Held Him Close As His Lips Locked With Mine. Pushing His Hair Up And His Smooth Lips Moved With Mine As One. Wrapping his Arms Around My Waist He Lifted Me Off My Feet And The Twisted Around Him. When He Pulled Away Gently We Looked At Eachother. I Bite My Lip As He Let A Gorgeous Smile Spread Across His Face. “Can I Walk You Home?” He Smirked. He Put My Bangs Behind My Ear As He Waited For My Reply. I Didn’t Know Weather To Say Yes Or No. If He Walked Me Home He Would See My Dad, Drunk, Rugged And Abusively Toned. I Looked Down At The Grass As My Eyes Filled With Water. He Placed his Two Fingers On My Chin Lifting My Head. I Turned It Looking At The Distance Hiding My Puffy Eyes. His Palm Rested against My Cheek as He Turned It Back To him. “You Don’t Need To Worry For me, I only Need To Worry For You” He Continued In A very Strong Calm Voice. “Ive Never Felt … What I’m Feeling For Anyone In My Existence, You’re my Life Now And I Will Do Anything To Keep It That Way, Your Mine” He Pulled Me In Close Kissing My Cheek. He took My Hand and We Walked down the Dirt Path Leading out Of the Park and down the Street. After 20 Minutes And Hand Swinging, Laughing And Crying, We Approached My House. “Here’s Me” I paused. He looked Around And Then Smiled Down At Me. He Dropped My Hand And Went Across the Street Down 2 Houses. He Shouted Across The Road “Here’s Me” Then laughed. I Never Knew He Lived there, I haven’t Seen him Walking The Streets So I Guess I Would Have Never Known. He Looked Both Ways Then Jogged Back To Me Wrapping His Arms Around My Waist Then Locking Them Behind Me. “Since When Do You live there?” I Let Out A Very Bad Fake Laugh. “Since About 3 Years Ago” He Smirked. “Oh really?” He Spun Me Around Replying With A Nod. It Was the Perfect Moment. I Slid Away From his Arms Like A Little Snake. “I Got to Go” I Kissed His Cheek And Walked Up My House Stairs.
He Jerked His Head At Me As I looked Back Then Sunk His Hands Into His Front Pockets. Bowing His Head Down He Crossed The Street Arriving At His House. I Walked Through My Busted Screen Door to See My Dad Passed Out On The Couch With A Beer Bottle In His Hand. I walked Up My Creaking Stairs And Into My Room Plopping On My Bed With Head Phones In My Ears Thinking Of Him. "God i Love HighSchool" I Said As I Quietly Laughed.
Codie.


Codie.
She Makes Me So Happy; I Can’t Begin to Think Of Losing Her Without Collapsing In The Pain. When I Got In My House My Mom Welcomed Me With The Good Old “Who Was The Girl?”… “You were spying on me?” I Said Back. “ I Wasn’t Spying I Just Worry That’s All, She Wears Too Much Black And Seems Far To Affectionate Over You, I Don’t Approve Codie, I Don’t” She Said In A Firm Tone. “Well Thankfully I Don’t Care Weather You Approve, She’s Everything To me And I’m Not Going to Lose Her Because You Can’t Except That I’m Growing Up” I Said As I Stormed Up To My Room Slamming The Door Behind Me. I Can’t Stop Thinking Of Her, She’s So Beautiful, She’s Who I’ve Been Waiting For; And I Can’t Get Her Out Of My Head. I Sat At My Desk As I Put In My Head Phones And Fell Asleep. After 2 And A Half Months Of Dating I Wanted To try Something New. I’m Still A Virgin… And She Meant So Much To Me. I didn’t want to lose it To Just Anyone. After getting dressed I Met up with Allie A Few Blocks Away the the Park. We Sat On The Same Hill Where We Sat The First Day We Kissed. After A Very, Very Awkward Moment Of Silence I Said A Few Words. “Hey, Can I Ask you Something?...” I Said Slowly. She Laughed At My Funny Tone. “Of Corse Anything” She Replied. “Well I’ve Been Thinking, We’ve Been Dating for 2 and a Half Months and I Thought Maybe We Could Try… I Paused In Embarrassment’ Maybe We Could Try Something More Intimate... Like Sex Maybe?” I Said Even Slower Then The Previous Question. Her Head Popped Up From Laying It On Her Knees. He stuttered in a Quiet Voice While trying To Speak. “We Will, I Just don’t think I’m Ready Just yet, I Love You A lot I Just Don’t Think I’m Experienced, Or Brave Enough, But We Will I Promise” She Said On. “You’re Still A Virgin? Me Too; I’m Not Experienced Either, And I’m Sure As Hell Not Brave Enough But I Understand Ill Wait” I Smiled And Kissed Her Forehead. “Thanks’, And Yes I’m Still A Virgin, I thought You Knew Already” She Said Quietly Hoping no One Would Here Her. I Walked Her Home After Words And Went Up to My Room That Night And Rustled Through My Drawers. When I Found My Blood Stained Blade I Slit It Across My Wrist And Let The Blood Pour Out. I Was So Stupid, I Put her Under Pressure, I Could Have Hurt Her Or Lost her I’m So Stupid, I Kept Thinking To Myself As The Blood Dripped On The To Floor. I Fell Asleep Soon After. I Love Her. Months Went By As Our 4th Hit. I Woke Up that Morning And Sent Her A Text Saying "I Love You". After I Sent it I Smiled At My Phone As I through It On The Bed Side Dresser. I Got Dressed In Black Skinny Jeans And no Shirt. I Tossed on A Old Black Hoodie And Went Across The Street To Meet Allie. I Walked With Her To School As She Held Onto My Arm.

A First For Everything.


I Woke Up To The Sound Of My Phone Ringing. I Was Sweating And Out Of Breath Again From My Nightmares. There Getting Worse And Worse Every night. They Never Change Its Always Me And My Dad, And He’s Trying To Kill Me With A Piece Of Broken Glass, A Glass Mirror I Broke With My Own Looks; But This Time… It Was Me And Codie. We Were Sitting On His Front Porch When My Dad Came Outside To The Sidewalk Drunk. He Was Walking Across the Street When Codie Ran After Him. I Pulled His Arm Back To Stop Him But He Slipped Out Of My Grip. A Car was Speeding Right towards Them. I Was Screaming, When Codie Realized The Car He Pushed My Dad to The Sidewalk And He Was Hit. My Dad Came up To Me and Whispered in My Ear, “That’s What’s Going to Happen to You” Then I Would Wake Up. I Reached Over To Grab My Phone. “I Love You” Is All It Read. I Smiled When I Saw The Sender Was Codie. I Stepped Out Of Bed throwing My Blanket Aside and Running to Get Dressed. I Threw On Skinny’s, A Red Lace Tank Top and Placed My Black Hoodie over Top of My Shirt. I Ran Down Stairs Avoiding Breakfast And Out The Door. Me And Codie Have Been Dating For 4 Months Today. He Brings A Smile To My Face When I See His Gorgeous Green Eyes Meet Mine. Every Morning He Kisses My Lips Telling Me How Beautiful I Am. I Feel Like Everything Is In Place But I Don’t Think He Thinks So. Around 6 Weeks Ago He Asked Me If I Wanted to Get More “Intimate”. I Was Scared, Inexperienced And I Could Tell He Was Too. When I Turned Him Down I Could See The Sadness In His Eyes. Codie Doesn’t Revolve Our Relationship Around Sex, It Was The First Time He Asked , I Just Wasn’t Ready. Although I Think I Am Now. After 4 Months Of Being Together, There Has To Be A First Time For Everything Right? He Met Me Outside My House Door And We Walked To School As I Leaned My Head On His Shoulder. I Grew taller over The Months But Still Has To Tippy Toe To reach His Lips. We Went to Our Separate Classes, And Met up at the Ones We Have together. Lunch Passed, And Then Before I knew it, it Was Time To Go Home. I Walked to Codie’s Locker and Grabbed His Hand as We Walked out the School’s Front Doors. His Mom Is Away On A Business trip For 3 Weeks So I Asked To Come Over. When We Got To His House He turned On a movie And We Sat In His Room On The Floor Cuddling. After That one Ended I Turned On

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