Another One; Half Way through That I Turned To Kiss Him. We Kept Kissing , I Reached To Un Buckle His Belt But He Pulled Away. “Allie We Don’t Have To Do This, I’m Not Rushing Into Anything We Can Take Our Time” He Blurted out. “I Know What I Want, I Want you, I love you” I Leaned Into To Kiss Him Again But He Still Pulled Away. “I’m Sorry, I Don’t Think We Should, You’ll Regret it I Know you Will” He Turned His Head. “Fine, ill Go Then, Bye Codie” I Stood Up And Walked Away. He Grabbed My Arm. “Allie Please Don’t Do This, I’m Sorry”. I Jerked My Arm Away And Walked Down the Stairs And Out His Door Slamming It Behind Me. I Was Running Across The Street When I Bumped Into Someone And fell Over. I Looked Up To See An Unfamiliar Face. He Held Out His Hand And Lifted Me Up And Off My Feet. “ I Am So, So Sorry, Are you Hurt, Are Your Bleeding? Do you Need A Doctor?” He Was Speed talking While Spinning Me Around To Examine Me. I Laughed And Held My Finger Against His Lips To Shut Him up. “ I’m Fine, Thanks”. I Replied. “Oh thank god… I’m Joseph But you Can Call me Joey” He Curtsied. I Just Laughed. “I’m Allie, Nice To Meet You” I Said. “You Too, I Should Probably tell You I’m Gay, Feel Free To Run From “The Freak” At Anytime” He Said rather Annoyed With himself. “Why Would I Run?, Your No Threat Besides I’m A Freak too.” I Smiled As I Held Out My Wrists to Show Him My Cuts. He Wrapped His Arm Around My Neck. “I Think I’m going To Like you” He Laughed. “Don’t Get your hopes Up, I’m Hard To Figure out, Even my Boyfriend Codie Says So” I Replied With A Rather Visible Smirk. “I Like A Challenge” We Walked Over Towards Codie’s House Again. I Knocked On the Door As Joey Stood Back A little behind Me. When Codie Answered His Facial Expression Turned From Worried To Angry After Noticing Joey. Joey Held Up His Hands In Surrender And Said Quickly “Im Gay Hun, Don’t Kill Me”. Codie Smiled. “ I Wasn’t Going To, I Just care About Allie”. “I Still Have to Go, I Just Wanted to See If you Were Okay” I Said All of A Sudden To Codie. I Walked Down The Stairs And Across The Street To My House. Joey Walked Further Down The Street To His House And Codie Slammed His Door Going Into His. I Couldn’t Sleep Again That Night. I Would try to Close My Eyes But All That Popped Up Was Codie Getting Hit By That Car And I Couldn’t Put Myself Through That. Instead I Got Out My Blade And Began Cutting Deep Into My Wrists. “Ahh –Ssss!” I Hissed Under My Breath In Pain As My Arms Turned Pale And Became Weak. I Heard Foot Steps Up The Stairs, Quiet But Still You Could Hear Them. I Smeared The Blood Up My Arm Covering It Up And Curled Under My Blanket. My Door Creaked Open As the Door Knock Shook In Movement. The Door Was Shut Behind Who Ever It Was As They Gently Started Walking. I Launched Up And Out From My Blanket Kicking The Person In The Shin. I Turned On The Bedside Lap And Seen It Was Joey. “Joey…” I Paused And Crouched Kneel Beside Him. He Looked Down At The Intense Amount Of Blood, And then At Me. I Pulled Him Across The Floor Gently And We Leaned up Against My Bed. His Eyes Were Full Of Water And Above His Eye A Slit That Bled Down His Cheek. My Eyes Filled Up With Water In Sight Of His Bleeding Cut. “I’m Sorry For Scaring You, I Just Couldn’t Go Back Home, I Really Sorry” He Pleaded For Forgiveness But I Had Nothing To Forgive Him For. He Did Nothing Wrong And I Would Have Done the Same Thing If I Was Alone, Scared And Hurt Too. “No, Its Okay, What Happened? Are You Alright… Who, Who Did This? I Stuttered The Words As They Came Out From My Dry Lips. He Told Me Of How His Father Had Died. How his Mother’s new Boyfriend Harmed Him and His Mother If They Don’t “Obey” Him. How His “Step Father” Put Him In front Of The Bathroom Mirror And Told Him How Ugly And Pathetic He Was; How His Step Father Broke The Mirror And Said Joey’s Shame Shattered It, And With The Sharpest Piece Of Glass He Gashed It Across his Upper Eye Leaving Behind A Deep Scar. I Covered My Mouth And Began To Cry Like I’ve Never Cried At All In My Life. My Tears Poured Over Cheek, And Down My Face. He Smudged My Eye Liner Under My Eyes And Told Me In a Calm tone “It’s Going To be Okay”. After I Calmed Down We Just Sat Up All Night talking. I Talked About Codie And Our Not So “Intimate Encounter”. “I Wasn’t Ready When he Was, And Now Because Of that He’s Afraid To Touch Me” I Said Annoyed. “Sounds To Me Like He’s the One Not Ready This Time” It Was Silent For A bit. Then He Talked About His Dad, talked About Him as If they Were Best Friends Before He Died. He’s Very Expressive And Feminine; I Love it. “He Died About two Years Ago, He Was Working On the Rail Way When His Pant Leg Got Caught Into The Track, That Was When the train Hit Him” He Slowly Spoke. “I’m Sorry” I replied. He Nodded. We Goofed Around trying To Lighten The Mood. His Legs Lay Straight On The Ground And My Head Gently Placed Across Them In The Opposite Direction. Looking Up At Him Laughing At My Horrible Jokes. I Buried My Head In His Chest When I Or He Said Something That Made Me Embarrassed. He Was My Best Friend. I’ve Never Had A Best Friend Before, Someone to Tell me What To Wear, To Run To When I Have boy Problems. Well, there’s A First for Everything. I Could Still See The Sadness In His Eyes. “You Know, Joey, You Can Stay Here Till Things Get Better At Home, As long As You need I’m Here For You” I Suggested. “Thanks Allie, Lets Just Hope you Don’t Rape Me” He Laughed. I Playfully Punched Him In The Gut. “I’m Saving My “Organs For Someone A little More Manly” I Did A Cheesy Smile. His Jaw Dropped As he Covered It Half Way With A Girly Hand Motion. “Hmph, I Am So Manly Enough” We Both Laughed. That’s All I Remembered before Drifting Of to Sleep. I Got Up that Morning After About And Hour Of Sleep And Licked The Side Of Joey’s Face. “Morning Sunshine” I Announced After his Shocking Wake Up. “You Know, I’m Going to Have to Sanitize My Face thanks To You” he wiped Of My Saliva and Smirked. “Im going To Take A Shower” I Grabbed A Towel And Walked Out My Door. “Hey Allie” He Called. I Held The Corner Of the Bedroom Wall And Half Looked Into My Room. “Yeah?” I Asked. “Don’t Drop The Soap” He Smiled. It Was a Stupid Remark People Use For “Gay’s”. I Laughed At his Fail Attempt To Make A Joke And Walked Back Into The Bathroom. I Turned On The Faucet, Then Pushed Down The Rod To Turn On The Shower. I Stood Under The Water And Pushed Back My Hair With The Shampoo. I Washed And I Rinsed Off . I reached For My Towel And Dried Off A bit. I Put On My Underwear And Bra Still Standing In The Tub And Wrapped Around Me The Other Dry Towel. I Stepped Out Slowly Putting My First Foot On the Ground And Then Lifted My Other One Over The Edge. I Hit The Ledge of the Tub And Dropped to the Ground With And Intense Slam. Joey Ran In, And Helped me Up With His Single Hand. When Are Fingers Touched I Felt What he Felt. I Pulled Back As We Powered Up And Electric Shock. My Hair Fizzed Up As Joey Hid His Smile Of Laughter. I Left The Pain He Felt, The Guilt, The Hatred towards Himself, All His Emotions. I then Started To Hear His Thoughts In My Head, He Thought it Was Funny How My Hair Spiked Up From The Spark, But How I Looked Adorable When In Fear. I Was So Confused , I Didn’t No What Was Happening. He Helped Me Up And I Ran Into The Room With Him And Closed The Door. What If I Could Feel What People Felt, Hear There Thought? I was Still Surprised By Everything That’s Already Happened. I Wondered If I Would be Able to Read Codie, Really Under Stand what was Going Through his Body. Was It My Touch? It Had To Be. I Took Of My Towel, Got Dressed, Threw On A Sweater And Grabbed his Hand Dragging Him Down The Stairs And Across the Street To Codie’s House. I Knocked On the Door With A Powerful Forced And Lunged At Him When he Answered The Door, Knocking Him Over And Onto The Ground. With My Over Top Of Him I Kissed His Lips. I Began To Absorb His Emotions, Everything In His Mind. He Was thinking Of Me, And How He Rejected me. How I Was So Upset At him. He Was Feeling Sad and Guilty but HeShouldn’t Have, It Was My Fault Instead Of Him rushing Me I Rushed Him. I Looked Into His Eyes And Smiled. He Looked Over At Joey And He Just Shrugged, Not Nothing What The Fuck Was Happening. I Got up then Reached To Help Codie Up. I Had To Figure Out Exactly What Was Happening, Why I Could All Of A Sudden take In All of What People Don’t Dish Out. Still Being Confused Me, Codie And Joey Started Walking To School. I Completely Let My So Called ‘Power” Free Of My Mind. Just Till After School
Pain & Pleasure.
The Classes Me And Codie Didn’t Have, Me And Joey Did. I Was Only Alone On A Few Little Stupid Classes. Through The Front Doors… People Were Starring At Me As I Walked Down The Hallway With Both of Them. Joey Gave Me A Piggy Back, But Everyone Already Knew It Was Codie I Was Dating. I Could Tell Even Without Me Touching Them They Were Thinking “Love Triangle” But It Wasn’t Like That. I Loved Codie, More Than Anyone In The World. Joey Is Just Shy About Being Gay, So She Doesn’t Announce It Or Dress His Part. I Got To My First Class with Codie; Science. We Had To Work In Partners At The Microscopes. Working on Cells Both Multi and Unicellular. When We Got Up I Looked Into The Scope And Wrote Down What I Saw. It Took Me A While To Write Down Minor-Details, So Long I Forgot A Part. I Looked Back Into
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