Close Relatives and Others, Sir Leonard [ereader for textbooks txt] 📗

There're some individuals on this earth you just can't talk to--sometimes it's your children, husband or wife, girlfriend or boyfriend, friend or acquaintance! They too pig-headed, obstinate, stubborn or bellicose--yes, all four! As a writer, I find when someone doesn't want to listen is to sit down and write them a note. Presented in this story are such characters--a son, a daughter, a neighbor, music mentor and my person electrician.


I shall begin with the least relationship--the electrician, who I shall call Boyd. Ole Boyd had it going on, he had the skill, the knowhow and the gab; but he chose to not listen well. I met him through my next-door neighbor who was in the construction business. The first time I hired him to do a small job for me; immediately, I noticed his incongruent, quarrelsome attitude. I became, just flat out, not to like him! Later, I continued to hire him because he worked cheap. As time went on, I began to get use to him and became to like him. He lives alone and drank quite a bit. One day I offered him a beer. He said, "I better not because my daughter is coming by today." He told me that she was going to college, and all that, and how he wasn't there for her when she was a child. I tried to explain to him, in spite of all that, you still here and still have to continue to live your life too. After being unable to get through to him, verbally, so, I decided to write him the following communiqué:

An Unnecessary Guilt Trip

May be I’m poking my nose into something that I have no business to. But the statement that you made to me, when you were talking about your college-attending daughter, about not being there for her when she needed you and you’re trying to make it up to her by becoming the “new you” by not letting her know what you do “behind closed doors.” Like drinking, swearing or any other unpleasant things that you deem unacceptable to her. Your situation has been weighing heavily on my mind. Matter-of-fact, so heavily, I woke up with you on my mind and decided to write you this note.

However, it’s understandable what you’re trying to do—make up to her for the failure of not being there for her when she needed you. That’s all good and honorable! The thing you’re forgetting about is that you still have a life to live, too. Life must go on, in spite of, all of our accomplishments and failures that might lurk in our past.

Furthermore, take the black man, for instance, he was held in slavery for 200 years by the Caucasian man in America. But now the Caucasian man is screaming that the Affirmative Action law, which was enacted by Congress, to give the black man a mandatory, assured “piece of the pie,” discriminates against him, of which, he, himself, necessitated. Yet, this ex-slave master has the nerve to tell America that the playing field is now equal between the black man and the Caucasian! What an absurdity! How can you make up a deficit of 200 years without some whirlwind, radical change taking place in the status of the less fortunate, black race? Impossible! Example:

Train A leaves point A traveling to point B at a speed of 60 mph. Two hours later, Train B leaves point A traveling to point B at a speed of 30 mph. Without some unusual, phenomenal, radical change in the speed of Train B, Train B will never catch up with Train A!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (your situation), As you know, “old man time” is steady and constant, and no radical change in its speed is possible; so it just ticks on and on. Just like Train B, you can never make up for what you didn’t do for your daughter. The most positive thing that you can do now, to overcome your guilt-ridden conscience, is to sit down with her and have a father-to-daughter talk; and lay everything out on the table for her--tell all! Tell her the truth why you couldn’t be there for he--no matter how awful and bad, they seem to be to you--tell her anyway. Just remember, to tell her that this is not an excuse for your not being there for her but yoy wanted her to know anyway. She will admire and love you for telling her the truth and nothing but the truth!

Of course, sincerely apologize and let her know how hurt and deeply sadden you are about your absence in her life. Boyd, then you can be honest with her about the few unpleasant bad habits that you now have looming and lingering in your life that you're not proud of. This way, when she comes over and see you drinking, she wouldn’t think anything about it. You will begin to realize how much better you feel knowing that the truth has set you free! Then, assure her that from now on that you'll always be there for her, through thick and thin! Your daughter will eternally love you and all your guilt will go away!

Sampson and Kathy Next Door

Sampson had not only been a very close next door neighbor but was the one who had introduced the electrician to me, before the estrangement of our acquaintanceship. We had been exchanging favors and kidding around with each other for almost two year. He originally had met and moved in with the lady next door, owned a small real estate business, got her pregnant and took over the remodeling construction part of the business. They were having problems in their strange relationship. She was always complaining to me about his lack of romance toward her. I was always telling her that their personal relationship was none of my business! She would tell me such things like he would never take her anywhere, not even out to dinner. One day, I was just kidding around, I said to him, "Your ole lady says you never take her out!" He said, "I don't take her anywhere!" He said nonchalantly. She went back and told him what I said he told me about not taking her out. He went ballistic; as he told me that I had not business going back telling her what he had said! I told him that I didn't mean any harm; and would go and ask her why she exaggerated what I said to her.

I wrote Kathy the following note, berating her, for going back exaggerating what I said about her ole man:

You're a Trouble Maker


I know how frustrated you are living with a man you feel that doesn’t give a damn about you! Why bring me into the mix? I’m only a neighbor! When I told you that I asked Bobby why he didn’t ever take you out to dinner and he said that, “I don’t want to take her nowhere with me!” You went back and told him what I said and he jumped all over me; and said that you were angry with him because of what I told you. You need to listen to me and hear what I say, I’m sure you know why the man doesn’t sleep with you and why he doesn’t take you to dinner! Bobby jumped all over me for even talking to you about him. I explained to him that I was only concerned about Charles.

However, I hope you didn’t exaggerate to you what I said. I informed him that I would never talk to you about him again; but that I had one more thing I had to tell you about what he said, when I asked him what was the reason he didn’t want to be with you? Was it because you were not attractive to him? He said no; and said that you were very attractive to him and that wasn’t it. He said that it was your mouth that he couldn’t deal with. I asked him did he tell you that this was you guys’ problem. He said yes; but you just keep on motor-mouthing! You guys forgive me, I was just thinking about the baby.

In the future, neither one of you need to worry about me ever poking my nose in Bobby, Little Charles and your business again!

The Responsibilities of a Manager

Meanwhile, after that little misunderstanding, Sampson stopped speaking. Yet I continue to speak to him and kid around just like I always did with him. He still wouldn't speak. Then later he said, "I don't speak to snitchers!" Of course, I thought he was just being stubborn. I continue to speak and say kidding around things to him; yet he still wouldn't speak. I tried apologizing to him, which still didn't work; so, I decided to try the final approach--putting the "pen" to him! I wrote the following:

I took time out of my busy schedule to write you this little note because I like you, because you and I have one thing in common, we both lived in LA. As they say, “We’re home boys!” And this is why I feel obligated to explain the following description of a manager:

You told me that the reason that you’re putting yourself in harm’s way as a manager in managing those apartments in the “Bluff,” was so you could get some experience and build up a credible, good resume to go out there and get a legitimate apartment manager’s job in a better neighborhood. Due to all respect, you’re erring in your point of reasoning. Managerial responsibilities are not that crude and simple. Managing is a profession and not an on the job self- taught, training program. Since the job entails dealing with so many different personalities, a manager must undergo extensive, stern and rigorous classroom training, coupled with supervised on the job training. The manager must, also, arm himself with many forms of psychology and related studies. This “different personality” problem is why some well learned person threw out there the phrase, “He can’t even manage a chicken house!” You see, chickens, also, present a huge problem because of their multi-personalities

Meanwhile, I know that you don’t give a damn about my opinion of whether I think that you could make it as a manager or not in the managerial field! However, I shall vent my opinion anyway. I’m afraid not, due to your immaturely handling of “small” situations in relationships. For instance, the immature way you’re still dealing with that “small” situation between you and me, the other day; and this was neither an incident nor a slight misunderstanding, only a “small” situation. Your handling of this “small” situation demonstrated to me your inability to manage even “little things.” I wish you well in life and hope that you can come to learn to listen to somebody.


As a recording artist, with two CD's out there