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rest of the period talking and trying to figure out our math coursework – it was impossible. When the bell rang I sadly stood up and waved to Jase my next lesson was Chemistry whilst his was Biology. I strolled back to my locker depositing my H&S care book and grabbing my chemistry lab book and notebook.

 

‘What’s going on with you Rosie, I heard you’ve been acting weird all day?’ Scot asked pinning me to the locker with one of his hands on my shoulder. ‘Well for one I’m pretty sure I’m being stalked.’ I replied nonchalantly, but his hand on me really did bother me. ‘Oh, who’s following you?’ He asked generally concerned. I shot him a look and replied ‘Half the school thanks you. And the reason EveryOne thinks I’m acting weird is because None of Them know me. You don’t know me. Ever thought of that?’ I asked forcing myself forward thus forcing him to move or we would have head butted or something.

 

He sighed as I walked away from him, maybe he’d give up now he knew all the answers. One class, one class and I would be home free – well ish. ‘Rosie just… just don’t do something stupid. Stupid is me, you are and always will be the responsible one.’ The responsible one, the boring one. The one who went unnoticed. Yhea that was me. I don’t want to be that person anymore, I’m not a quiet roommate I am a child of those living there. I am not boring – I just walk around unnoticed.

 

I walked to chemistry with my head held high, he doesn’t get to know he can still hurt me. No, I am a strong person. I don’t cry, I don’t moan or mope I get on with it. Striding down the corridor I walked in the direction of my class. Jase stood in the doorway of the library looking concerned. I just flashed a confident grin as I passed him, his eyes had a maniac’s twinkle glittering in them. He wolf whistled as I strode passed him, I turned back and winked. His bright teeth flashed a bright white smile. I felt like someone was standing in my corner, beating a drum that only I could march too.

 

Instead of walking along the outside of the corridor I walked right through the middle, not caring if I knocked into anyone. I saw Katie – Scots on again off again girlfriend leaning on some guy’s locker flirting, her eyes squinted in annoyance as she saw me. She even tried to walk up to me, directly in front of me actually – not that it made a difference. I pushed my headphones in and continued walking, just a few steps from crashing she moved aside.

 

The rest of the day was quiet. No one spoke to me nor did they stop me. I got on with my work and then began the hours walk home. It was nice, quiet. Even the trees stood at a standstill, not even a wavering leaf. Everything seemed perfect. Just rightly so. When I reached home – everything was silent. I walked into my immaculate room, not a hair out of place. Just like my mother who sat on my bed. I ignored her and turned my laptop on – connecting my speakers and turning on what Jase liked to call my ‘angry girl music’ on as loud as I could before I walked into my conjoined bathroom. I took my clothes off and showered away the days stresses.

 

The water was beautifully hot, my hair tingled as I scrubbed it with shampoo and then rubbed conditioner in. I scrubbed my body with defoliant and cleaned my teeth. After I had finished I rapped myself with a towel and looked in the mirror. I was clean but still boring, the best thing I could say about myself was that my button nose was cute as were my tiny ears that poked through my wet hair. Which hung limply. My big boring eyes stared back at my unimpressed. I walked into my bedroom and my mother still sat there looking bored. She shut my laptop with a bag, much to my amusement the music kept playing.

 

‘Turn that bunch of noise off now Rosaline.’ She half shouted over the noise, I raised an eyebrow and replied ‘Music and no – obviously it wants to play, how could you refuse it that?’ I replied sarcastically. A quieter song came on and I saw her visibly sigh. ‘Please.’ She said quietly. I walked over to my speakers and turned the music down to background noise. I picked up a brush and started working through the knots in my hair.

 

‘We need to talk about your behaviour young lady.’ She told me sounding exasperated. ‘Yes and if you can’t talk to us, well I’ve already set up an appointment with your mothers therapist.’ My dad offered trying to be helpful. Trying. ‘George we can’t just pass her problems off on someone else!’ My mother told him angrily. ‘Isn’t that a little bit contradicting considering it’s your therapist?’ I replied deadpan. ‘Don’t talk to your mother like that!’ He scolded me. ‘You wanted me to talk!’ I shouted annoyed.

 

 

‘You’ve been acting out a lot young lady and it’s inacceptable. You’re not going out tonight your grounded for a week, you know the drill. We have set up a meeting with the physiatrist in an hour and I expect you to come out of that room with a better attitude towards your mother.’

  

‘You can’t even stand to be around each other anymore. Your honey moon –is next week you should have gone then regardless of work, it’s like you’ve turned into different people I remember when you two first got married – you actually loved each other. But now you are so busy trying to free yourselves of each other, your both drowning in deny. Guess what, you’re living a lie. I have been perfect, PERFECT for the last 17 years. I fall asleep in my room with a friend and I’m the most spiteful, devil child. Years and years of good behaviour – you know what I’m wasting my time here, I don’t need to justify myself to you. I’m not sitting around here all day, I’m not going to see a shrink whilst you sit across the room from me pretending. You already believe what you believe already. You have always focused on my failures more than my accomplishments anyway.’

 

 

With that I walked over to my cupboard, Jase was right. I did need to have some fun. I grabbed an old shirt of Jases, it was a deep blue with black stripes. I wore a black bra underneath that just showed. I wore a pair of short black shorts and black tights that were engraved with roses up either leg – flashing some of my lightly tanned leg. I began the twenty minuet walk to Jases house. By the time I’d gotten there it was around five and my hair was nearly completely dry.

 

Chapter six

 A night worth the regreting

 

I knocked on his door, tapping my foot nervously – what if he wasn’t in? ‘Hag og!’ Someone called the sound of running footsteps down the stairs could be heard for miles around, translation hang on. He yanked the door open with a toothbrush in his mouth. ‘You decided to come! Why?’ He asked sounding suspicious – this was the first time I’d ever said yes before.

 

‘They stood there criticising me for doing nothing. They never listened to me, they had always told me my problems were insignificant. I have tried every day of my life to be there perfect child. I am not this person, I don’t like high heels, I don’t like fancy fish or hand bags. They told me I am a child but I took in a friend who needed help. I was used, I have done nothing but what they have asked me all my life and they always make me feel pathetic. Like I don’t matter, like there’s always something that’s more important than I am. They try so hard to avoid each other and me, it’s like we a roommates not child and parents. All they ever do is ask me if I need a therapist, maybe it’s talked to each other instead of slagging each other off to someone else. I am sick of it, I am not the bad child.’

 

Jase stood there gob smacked and then started laughing at me. ‘What? Did I say something stupid?’ I asked concerned. ‘No, it’s just like you’ve come alive in front of my eyes. Like for the first time I’ve met the real you – Well great I’ve been waiting for months. Come on were going to be late.’ He said looking happy. ‘Put a shirt on before you scare the children!’ I told him laughing and pocking his bare belly. ‘Well I would but it seems you’re wearing it - and well might I add. You goanna do your makeup?’ He asked walking back upstairs into the bathroom, where I quickly shoved him aside and started applying eyeliner to my upper eye lids. The secret was to get it all in one swoop. Don’t stop and do all the way across the top and bottom (water line is the bottom). I then applied mascara and blood red lipstick.

 

‘Rosaline.’ He called sweetly holding a bright blue and purple dyes in his hands – he had been begging me to go pink for months. But every time I’d refused because of my parents – this time I nodded and grinded devilishly. ‘Cool, Ohh you bad ass you – right well sorry babe but your goanna have to take my shirt off.’ He told me grinning devishly. He turned around and grabbed an off black coloured towel and threw it around my shoulders as I unbuttoned his shirt. He started with the blue – he applied the blue to my roots first and then cling filmed random blue streaks. After that he put purple all through my hair. This process took only around half an hour and we had to sit in the bathroom an hour so he went into the kitchen for some time and returned with two glass bottles of beer. ‘Sit back relax have a fag.’ He told me jokingly, refusing to pass me a bottle. Instead I stole his cigarette packet and lighter. I lit one up and shoved the rest in my back pocket. He stood up from his slouching – leaning on the door position and tried to grab them back I told him off saying ‘wouldn’t want to ruin your master piece now would you?’ I told him grinning devilishly. He passed me a bottle and I passed him half of the cigarette I had smoked – this time with little coughing.

 

The beer tasked like actual urine water, but something in me became all hot at the thought of defying my parents further. Jase rummaged through my bag until he found a shade of purple he liked, he grabbed the brush and started dabbing the colour on my lips. After rubbing my lips together the purple blended brilliantly, making my lips

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