Straight Talk, No Pretense, Abasiodiong Ekarika [books you need to read .TXT] 📗

a behavior continues. Sometimes the needs of your partner are useless, they are to satisfy others and to feel welcomed. Your partner should not pressurize you to buy the latest wrist watch or latest artificial hair if he/she cannot give you cogent reasons to purchase the product, ask him/her is the product will appreciate or depreciate in the next five years.

Cook your own meal, don’t buy food from “mama put” every day. If you cannot cook, learn how to cook. If you buy a plate of food worth fifty naira three times a day in a week you spend one thousand and fifty naira. This amount may seem small but will make a big difference overtime when you realize that your money has gone really low. You are permitted to eat out if it is a treat to yourself or you are unable to prepare a meal. You deserve it.

Be accountable. Take responsibility for how your money is spent. Make a budget and be able to track your fault expenditure and income. If you have a change get it and save it. Don’t overcharge, don’t undercharge. Don’t push yourself into a situation where you’ll be working on a budget deficit, make financial moves that are of great advantage, don’t wait for the crowd to go for it before you do so.

Put in the bin the receipts you have no use of. Pay for your charges, don’t keep it till it becomes overdue. Don’t inherit debts, don’t borrow anyhow, avoid late payments.

Take care of your health. Exercise, eat right, have a health insurance.

Optimize your work place financial opportunities, soak it all up, work smartly and get recognized by your boss. Get the benefit that comes with working excellently and beyond average.

Chapter 15: Sex before Marriage

 Sex is the introduction of the penis into the vagina. Sexual intercourse involves the insertion of the phallus into the vagina for reproduction, sexual pleasure or both. Sex is vaginal sex not anal sex, oral sex, domineering sex or masturbation.

Sex is usually performed when there has been a consent by both parties; man and woman. Where there is no consent sexual intercourse will be regarded as rape. Sex with anybody below eighteen years in Nigeria or any other person who has not been recognized by law as an adult is unlawful and it is punishable by law. Forceful sex where there is consent is not rape.

Sex is exclusive for married persons and not the single man or woman. Having sex while dating hinders it blossoming. Because of pressure most young persons have either had sex before marriage, engaged in bestiality or masturbated, a man or a woman may have justifications for such an act even homosexuality and lesbianism but it is totally wrong. There may be written work done on the benefit of such acts but as Christians you must not conform to the world. The Bible instructs that a man/woman must shun immorality and impurity, it points out that the impure, immoral and those who practice homosexuality/lesbianism will have no access to the Kingdom of God.

The Bible admonishes Christians not to engage in any impure and immoral act. Sexual immorality is a sin against the body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Sexual immorality contaminates an individual and makes him unfit for God to dwell in.

As a man/woman if you desire to have sex before marriage such need is evil and unholy. You should have self-control and be disciplined to deaden your sensual desires. If you are in a relationship there is every tendency to be turned on but it is your place not to submit to the desire to have sex. Don’t smooch, don’t cuddle, don’t kiss, these acts only stirs up something you may not be able to control.

A lot has being said around the world on sex before marriage but resisting or accepting is an individual’s choice. If as a single man/woman you desire to know no one till you get married, avoid staying alone. If you need to communicate with your partner do so within a group. Don’t be alone, engage yourselves in activities with other persons. Be able to live separately and communicate in the presence of others, if you need privacy, you can step into a restaurant that is busy, an eatery or any other public place to discuss.

Avoid staying in secluded areas. If you want to visit your partner visit him/her when close relations are around. Don’t invite him/her over to your place to discuss, rest or do anything because when you are done doing what you intended to you’ll think of having sex since no one is present.

Avoid kissing, a lot of things has happened because of just one kiss. A kiss can lead to smooching, touching, massaging etcetera if there is no caution. In avoiding stories that touches the heart don’t kiss your man/woman till you marry, control yourself, you will not die.

Avoid foreplay. Many people’s turn on is just a tickling of the ear, ribs, whatever, don’t touch your partner without discretion, you will be forced to have sex with him/her because you are physically attracted to him/her and he/she is appealing.

Watch what you read and view. As a responsible partner don’t read books that are sexually evocative. Reading such literature allows your mind to genuinely imagine every scene described with your partner in your brain. It may not have been intentional but the end result is that you will want to have sex whether or not there will be penetration, whether you are being touched in the right places or deeply kissed.

Don’t watch pornography, don’t watch movies where sex scenes are showed. Discipline yourself. If you really need to watch a romance movie ask yourself why you are taking such a decision.

If your phallus is erecting, politely walk out. As a woman don’t walk braless and without pant in front of your partner, if you need privacy ask for it and make sure you get it. The fact that you are tying a towel when your partner comes to check on you should not be an invitation to have sex under the shower or anywhere, tell him/her to wait for you while you dress up. You may be partners but you are not allowed to act without boundaries.

Be disciplined and be able to enforce rules. Be a partner that can tell his/her man/woman “no, I can’t kiss you “, “no, I can’t see you makes before marriage “, “we need to leave now “.

Avoid masturbating. Don’t use any artificial object to have sex. Don’t touch yourself. Ask for the Holy Spirit to help you. If you have the guts to masturbate then you are no different from a man/woman who practices homosexuality or lesbianism.

Guard your communication, we know you love your partner but love him/her to the extent of not sexting him/her and suggesting sexually provocative moves.

Chapter 16: Dating

 Dating is the first stage of a relationship leading to marriage. Dating is a period where both parties communicate, bond and discuss if a possible future. You may or may not marry the person you are dating.

Dating is a phase, if it will lead to marriage grow together at least for three years. A man/woman can either become rejected or accepted. It is the basic foundation for those thinking of marriage. It’s a process, it does not grow overnight.

Before a man and a woman date there should be an attraction. Where there is no attraction the both parties cannot date. This is a situation nose people call friend zoning.

A man/woman may be friend zoned because of pride. A man/woman who is proud is a veritable candidate of being friend zoned. A man/woman will probably also be friend zoned if he/she is egoistic, cannot apologize for being late and is lousy.

A man/woman that has no character and only wants to get down will definitely be friend zoned and can never be considered a partner. He/she will always be horny and have an unusual desire for sex. Furthermore, a bad manner of approach is a turn off.

A man/woman that is very shy will be friend zoned. Such a man/woman is very shy and vulnerable, he/she cannot interact with other individuals.

A man/woman who lies a lot and makes unrealistic promises is fake. It is insane for someone to meet you for the first time and promise that he/she will change your life, your family's life and that of your community.

A dirty man/woman will definitely be friend zoned. It is expected that one should be neat at all times.

A man/woman who does not have a vision will be friend zoned because he/she is not futuristic. He/she does not know anything about his/her future.

The man/woman that has unrealistic expectations and imaginations like getting married and having children when a man/woman just said “hi “ will be friend zoned.

Dating is a revelatory process, it exposes a man and a woman to their past, present and future. When dating, man/woman should be able to have discussions on what they appreciate. Give your partner an insight into what you love, what you value and what you appreciate. This will guide their actions and make them understand you better. It will also allow him/her to appreciate you for who you are and not what he/she wants.

Have discussions on your dislikes, if there are things you do not appreciate, they are things you hate doing let your partner know about it. If you dislike liars, betrayers let your partner know. Share extensively your limitations and your challenges.

Don’t attempt to change your partner you will only breed a monster. Let him/her be his/her own kind. Allow him/her to be his/her own kind of special. He/she should be able to change because he wants to.

Don’t be opposites but complement each other. Dating someone like you will be very boring. Align, two cannot walk together except they agree. You should have shared values. Be the right person in your heart.

Be full-grown Christians who have understanding. Have wisdom but not the wisdom of this world. Your partner should have personal convictions and a right heart. For a relationship to last God’s word must be the final authority in that relationship. Have a knowledge on who your partner is and why he acts the way he/she does. Don’t be ignorant.

Show and have respect to not only your partner but those below you. Know how your partner treats other people, this will help you know the true nature of your partner.

Be kind and considerate. Be