Straight Talk, No Pretense, Abasiodiong Ekarika [books you need to read .TXT] 📗

 Red flag is a connotation for what shows you are not compatible with a partner. It is a guideline against toxic relationships and problematic people.

The red flags are observations through the ages in what will likely make a marriage not successful. It is not written in a book but passed from generations to generations. As a single man/woman these guidelines should be a blueprint to have a successful marriage.

There are red flags a man can identify in a prospective partner or woman of interest. It is not hard to pinpoint.

Where a lady is very eager to be in a relationship with you and claims to love you more than God run, she is just in your life to have fun. There has never been a man who has proven to love beyond himself, it is only Jesus Christ the Son of God. If you observe such traits, it is possibly to fulfill a self-serving agenda. When such a relationship is formed it tends to be very toxic and the lady will not want to opt out of the relationship because she is needy, dependent and believes she cannot survive without a man.

If you are facing such a situation, separate yourself politely from the lady. If she still attaches to you pray to God about it and permanently break off all communication with her. If you don’t break off all communication with her, she will be probably stalk you and track your movements. If such a lady is quick to anger and tends to be destructive there is every likelihood she will kill you because she believes you rejected her and found her unworthy.

You are not obligated to recommend a counsellor for her because she may think she is sick and do something fatal to you.

A woman that needs to be given attention even at your own loss is destructive. This excludes all women who are disable and sick in the body, these ones need special love, care and attention. A woman that needs to be recognized at every place you are is not ready to submit to you. There will be circumstances when your woman needs to be kept in the background and watch your back, a woman that refuses to take this position even for a while is struggling to share the spotlight with you. She will be willing to do anything that will make her to be praised by others. It has been observed that such women pretend to be in need of attention because they have passed through a lot but this a lie, a woman who has faced challenges will be able to humble herself so that you will be promoted.

A pretender does not have a mark. A pretender is patient enough to hit at the right time so watch your back. Don't just rush things, take time to study who you are associating with. Don't judge a woman from how she treats you or conduct herself when she is around you just observe. Don't be give a woman what she desires without having personal convictions to carry out such an act.

If a woman you have an interest in is not compatible with you and does not share any peculiar characteristics with you opt out. There is every tendency that she is communicating with you out of pity because of your struggle story. Being in a relationship with such a woman is scary, you’ll always look helpless before her and she will feel that whatever she is doing is because she is helping you. When a woman sees herself as your helper she gets placed indirectly as the head and in a marriage there can never be two head it must be one head with a neck to support it.

Forcing a woman to marry you will birth a relationship of sorrow, she will accept you out of pity and will have no reason to commit in the marriage. If you are attracted to a lady and then tell her you want to marry her, if she tells you “ no “ give a try and pray about it but respect her decision and never ever force her to marry you, move ahead, you’ll find someone better.

Women who desire to do great get busy but there are times when this act can be a red flag on its own. If the woman you are attracted to claims to be busy every eighty six thousand, four hundred second in a year don’t go further. This act is a clear sign that she does not envisage a future with you. A woman who is busy is not always busy when her loved ones contact her. It is a heart matter, a woman will make time for the persons she wants to.

Affection can be displayed in many ways and it ought to be reciprocated. A problem arises when acts of affection are not reciprocated. In life it is important that one learn and do that which the partners love. If you send messages to a woman, send gifts to her, use encouraging words on her, it is normal for her to get used to it and question why you have stopped sending them. Don't love and spend on a woman who doesn't love you because you will be disappointed and put the blame on innocent women saying they are all the same because of your wrong choice. Be wise when choosing a woman to date so as to avoid serious heartbreak and disappointments. Never forget reciprocity and appreciation is key, it takes two to tango.

Pretending is trying to be who you are not, a lady who loves you won't lie to you. A truthful lady should able to live her normal life and be plain, if the woman you are interested in cannot open up about her life without lying so as to look good or weak she has a character issue. If your relationship was founded by the Holy Spirit she does not have a reason to lie and pretend to be whom she is not. Where a relationship is existing with a fake partner you will not be able to live the way you should and give the way you should.

Your lady should be able to pray for you and the vision you carry, she should share in the same vision with you and support your vision. She should be able to recognize the God factor in all doings and dream big. If the woman you are interested in does not share the vision you carry with you then she is not ready to invest in a future where you’ll both exist as husband and wife.

As a single woman there are red flags that you can identify in a prospective partner or man of interest. A man is expected to respect the dignity of a woman, place her as his priority and not treat her like an object. Words are the first manifestation of an abusive man before his action. An abusive man is a man with anger, don’t have a relationship with a man given to anger.

If your man does not respect you opt out because he will never respect you no matter how much he promises to change. If he makes derogatory statements like “you don’t know you’re left from your right” he is not showcasing headship but out rightly abusing you. He is tearing down your confidence. Any woman that wants to marry such a man will regret it for the rest of her life, such a man will shut you up in public, he will have no regard to how you feel, he will not bordered on the impact of his words and he will not love you.

An abusive man is proud, he is egoistic and domineering his personality notwithstanding. He desires you to always be humble but he is never humble. He is very controlling and bad at obeying rules even the ones made by him. Your man should not hate you nagging but nag, he should not dislike you being dirty when he is very untidy. Your man should be humble to take correction. The background of a man may influence him but a man has a choice to be good or bad. His disgusting nature is a choice and if he chooses to blame it on his background then he is not responsible.

A man who claims to own you should be avoided. A man does not own what he does not have and a man can never give what he does not have. Predatory men use words of attachment so as to manipulate women to be in love with them. They use words like; sugar, baby, dear, sweetheart, honey, milk, heartbeat, sunshine, light, gold, passion, dearest, etcetera. Such men conduct themselves as being desperately in love with you. They will tell you that you are loved and there is nothing in this world that can change it. He is being manipulative, a man’s love is not forever because love will fade away, problems will arise, there will be frustration and there will be losses.

If a man is already calling you his wife when he has not even married you, he is not ready to commit. If a man calls you his baby mama, he is not ready to commit. No man should attach to you a status that has not been earned. If a man calls you his Automatic Teller Machine (ATM), financial woman, Dubai woman or whatever name used to qualify an independent woman he is only in that relationship because of your money. Such a man is ready to do anything to make sure you are secured and he will not mind lying to you or visiting your parents to declare an interest in you when he is not willing to marry you. He is not responsible. It is a known fact that when a man is financially stable he considers himself fulfilled, if your man does not bother about being financially independent run he is just there to leech you.

A man who is financially dependent on you and shows no willingness to work is a gold digger, a manipulator and a slow poison. Marrying such a man is detrimental, he will not just be a pest but he will make you lose out from your benefit. Such a man is a fraud, he can forge your signature so as to withdraw a considerable amount of money from your account and he can obtain your password to dwindle your money. A man who for no reason places a status on you is a suspect who needs to be watched out, it doesn’t matter whether he wears ironed shirt, designer suits or rag.

A man who has pride and is egoistic should be a no go area. He will constantly look down on you and consider you classless. If your man is comfortable taunting you, believing you are unfit to develop him physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, spiritually and socially leave the relationship such a man will kill your purpose and belittle you. He will consider you unworthy of his attention and commitment and very unfit to be married to. He will not be able to look beyond himself to appreciate what you’ve done. He is not apologetic and remorseful when in error. A man that is proud will never consider you of any value. Don’t believe you’ll change him rather be able to leave that relationship with whatever piece of your dignity that is remaining.

A man should be able to forgive your mistakes