Straight Talk, No Pretense, Abasiodiong Ekarika [books you need to read .TXT] 📗

friend is not someone who lies to others that you are praying whereas you are sleeping with him. Your best friend is one who is bold enough to set boundaries and respect it.

Your best friend is the one who can give you an honest feedback, he/she does not try to impress you with complimentary words and a fake smile. Your best friend is the person who can unashamedly let you know your weakness and strength.

Your best friend is your accountability partner. He/she is concerned about your growth and seeks out ways to promote you. Your best friend is the person who can recommend you for a good paying job without feeling intimidated. Your best friend is the person who will remember your milestones and celebrate them with you.

Your best friend will not distract you from your goal. He/she listens rather than talk. He/she supports you one hundred percent.

Your best friend is not a god. Your best friend is the person who plays the function of being there. Your best friend will sincerely be committed to see you upgrade but may sadly reject associating with you. Your best friend will not inherit enemies for you. He/she will not contaminate you spiritually. He/she respects what you stand for and will not pressurize you to violate your personal ethics.

Chapter 10: Maturing

 To be called a wife/husband means that you’ve been trusted to bear responsibilities. This title is not for fun. A woman can be a wife but not all women can be called a good wife, in the same vein, a man can become a husband but not all men can be called a good husband. There are clear differences in these roles.

Maturing involves growing into full stage in life so much that you can effectively execute responsibilities even the ones that come with marriage. You will not mature in marriage, you prepare for marriage as a single man/woman and grow in marriage. A man/woman is mature in marriage when he/she does not feel the need to tell people his/her life goals but silently work on it.

Marriage is not where you do trial and error and feel you can step out at any time. If you are thinking in this direction then you are wrong. As a single man/woman prepare yourself for marriage now that you are not committed. Take time to learn from those who have been married, ask questions and get knowledgeable.

Let your single period be when you are learning. Don’t be typing and shouting “God when “whenever you see a successful marriage. As a single man/woman are you prepared? Are you responsible? Do you think beyond yourself? Can you live genuinely? Are you selfish? Are you lazy? Are you senseless? Are you improving yourself? Are you in an entanglement? Are you growing?

A single man and woman who has prepared effectively for marriage cannot be hidden. Such persons step into a relationship knowing that it will lead to marriage. They believe that there is more to dating, courting and marriage, they are not lazy.

A man who has prepared for marriage will perform excellently during the years before marriage and in marriage. A single man who steps into a relationship without preparation is a child while a man who has prepared for marriage can be called a boyfriend, a fiancé, an excellent husband or a good husband. He is a boyfriend in the dating stage, a fiancé when there has been a promise to marry, a husband when he marries and a good father when he caters for the needs of not just his children but his brothers, his sisters, the less privileged and the orphans.

A man is not born but he is crafted. Every excellent man is a product of learning, change and development. An excellent man is not one who can’t express his feelings but someone who can express his feelings yet still be positive about it. If you are in a relationship that you believe will lead to marriage, it’s important that you are not dating a child, be able to spot a child in your potential male partner and opt out.

Maturity is not by age, a twenty seven year old man who cannot control his anger is a child and nothing more. On the other hand, a twenty year old man who can trust his partner is a man. In your relationship if your man believes everything begins and ends with him in the relationship he is still a child. If he is still intimidated by your growth and refuses to grow, if he has trust issues, if he cannot believe in your ability to make the right choice, if he feels that he is in competition with your male friends, if he still handles issues without consideration of how you’ll ready to action taken, if he cannot respect his church leaders, his community leaders, his boss, or any institutionalized authority, if he has a problem listening to his parents and communicating with his siblings, if he is a people pleaser, if he cannot take decision, if he is jealous, if he is insecure, if he is irresponsible, if he needs to be shouted at before he can take an action, if he cannot handle criticism, if he makes promises to you but never fulfills any, if he needs you to look all dolled up before you are considered presentable, if he cannot work, if he cannot bear burden, if he cannot have intimacy with God, if he loves you but makes no commitment to marry you, if he cannot seek advice from you, if he cannot pray with you, if he cannot stay with you, if he believes sex before marriage displays true love, if he is a fraud, if he needs affirmation from his friends before he takes any step in the relationship, if he is unforgiving, if he cannot take corrections, if he does not think of the future and is not futuristic, then such a man is a grown child in an adult body.

Choosing a female partner can be very dicey if care is not taken but it is an amazing process. It’s a thing of joy to date a virtuous woman and get married to her. A virtuous woman is rare, she is far above diamond, she manages the home front spiritually, physically and otherwise effectively. She is not a loose woman. She builds and upholds.

A virtuous woman is trusted by her husband, her husband believes in her. She is not a criminal but a lowly and submissive woman who seeks to encourage, do her partner good and spur growth to the vision her partner carries.

A virtuous woman cannot be faked. If the lady you are in a relationship with claims to be virtuous but you observe; she is manipulative, she is jealous, she cannot forgive, she believes the world rotates around her, she believes she does not need to work but relax and enjoy life, she is not financially independent, she cannot take decisions but need to ask her relation, best friend, neighbor or colleague what to do, she cannot deal with issues confidently and with wisdom, she gossips, she only knows about the latest show, shoe, clothe or hair, she cannot pray with you, she cannot improve her relationship with God, she cannot appreciate, she cannot reciprocate acts of love, she does not respect the person below her, she is a gold digger, she lies and pretends to be who she is not, she needs to be dolled up before she can consider herself beautiful, she can’t react understandably to your needs, she considers your act if giving as unnecessary and uncalled for, she cannot take corrections, she is not financially independent, she depends on someone for affirmation, she cannot become better, she needs you to be always with her without being concerned in your productivity, she believes sex before marriage displays true love, she does not respect authority, she believes you have to inherit her enemies, she cannot accept she is wrong, she is not futuristic., back out. Such a woman will make you regret in life.

Chapter 11: Praying to God for a Life Partner

It is an excellent thing to be dating a man who God has favored you with. Relationships with this foundation is secured by God however if parties fail to be appreciate why they are together it will fail.

As a single man or woman when you see your colleagues, class mates or relations getting married you’ll feel hurt because you are either older than these parties, better than them or you've patiently waited bit year nothing to show for it. You are not alone, this is why you must invite God into your love life.

You invite God into your love life by recognizing his power at work and reminding him of his promise that those who wait in the Lord can never be put to shame. It is important to know that you can communicate to God in various ways one way is through prayers. As Christians you are taught to pray effectively so that you have answered prayers with this background be able to pray effectively to God for a man.

You pray effectively to God for a man by knowing what you want. Don’t go to the altar of prayer without a specific need. Tell God what you want and ask for a sign to know when you prayer has been answered. For example, if you are Nigerian student and you are expected to pay your school fees by next week you don’t just approach your sponsor making known the information but you state the requirement. If you are to pay fifty thousand naira as school fees it will be insane to ask for one hundred thousand naira or one thousand naira. So, if you need in your life someone that will complement you, don’t pray for someone that will complete you neither pray for any kind of person so far as she loves God ask for what you want and trust God to grant your request. God is not an author of confusion, he needs you to speak to him like a father stating your needs.

Pray rightly. The Bible instructs the Christian body on how to pray and it is even notes that as a Christian you should pray persistently. Pray with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and let the Holy Spirit bear witness. The Holy Spirit helps us to pray with groaning, take advantage of this power in the place of prayer and