My Personal Hell, D. Richardson [ebook reader browser txt] 📗

daddy okay? They’ll make you leave if they know you’ve seen me.” Again they both nodded and I spotted the car I had been searching for pull into the parking lot.

“I have to go. But I’ll be back, I promise.” They nodded and bless their hearts, they wiped their faces and tried to act like I had never been there.

I ran back to the car and got in before any of the others. I couldn’t risk either of my parents seeing me, and the others filed in quickly. As we drove away I looked back to see my step mother walking up to my little brother and sister. I turned back around to see Lori looking at me with understanding, and Sadler looking on with worry. Adrian simply glanced every once in while using the rearview mirror.

“Do me a favor?” I asked softly and they each nodded, even little Kadi. “Don’t say anything, to anyone.” They each nodded again, though Adrian was more hesitant than the others. But I was in no mood to explain.

I managed to go the rest of the day without incident. But I couldn’t keep my mind on anything for longer than a few minutes before I slipped back down memory lane. Sadler tried to keep me occupied but it never worked.

The next day I made some excuse to go out. I almost made it to the car before Sadler stopped me. He had become a pretty good friend over the last couple of weeks, but he didn’t seem to understand the idea of personal time.

“I’m coming with you,” he said making his way to the passenger side of the car. I tried to protest but he only cut me off. “I’m coming with you.” I sighed.

“Fine, but don’t ask any questions, you won’t get any answers.” He nodded and I slid behind the wheel.

Ten minutes later we were at the elementary school, parked in the same spot we had the day before. As promised, Sadler didn’t ask me any questions. I waited until I saw them come out. They spotted me in the car and I pressed a finger to my lips, to signal them to keep quiet and not let on that I was there.

They nodded and stood there waiting until their mother picked them up. I watched as she pulled out of the parking lot, then followed. We were silent in the car and I had no intention of changing it.

About fifteen minutes later she pulled into a driveway. The house was in the country, like I had assumed it would be. One thing my father valued was privacy. I couldn’t follow her down the driveway, she would have noticed me. So I kept going for a couple miles, then turned around.

There was a small clearing right next to the rarely used highway about a quarter of a mile from the driveway, and I parked. I would have told Sadler to stay there, but there was no way he would have listened. So instead I said nothing as I climbed out of the car.

I looked around and realized we were only about six miles from where I now lived. Roughly a hundred and fifty miles from where they left me. They obviously didn’t want to risk running into me again.

The driveway was only about a half mile long, but it was surrounded by woods. When I finally made it to the house I took it in, not the least bit surprised. It looked like a small three bedroom from the outside. Sitting on about an acre of yard. The siding was a generic plastic tan color, and was on par to my father’s tastes.

I sat down just at the outline of trees. He wouldn’t be able to see me, but I could see anything that went on in the yard and through the windows. For several hours I just sat and watched.

She cooked dinner, and he sat in front of the computer, while the kids watched TV. I watched until I saw her put the kids to bed. I saw which lights were turned on and which ones were turned off. I watched some more until the two of them got up to go to bed. And from there I knew which room was whom.

When there were no more lights on in the house I waited for about another hour. When I was sure they were asleep I finally said something.

“Stay here, I won’t be long.” He only nodded and I stood, stretching my stiff muscles.

I made my way around the house until I reached Jake’s room. There was a screen over the window, but it popped off easily. I tapped on the window a few times until I saw Jake’s face as he peered out. He smiled at me and opened the window, stepping back so I could climb in.

His room was almost identical to what it had been in the old house. Same bed, same toys, all of it. I turned back to him and he threw himself into my arms. I smiled down at him until he pulled away.

“Go get your sister, but be as quiet as you can,” I whispered to him. He nodded quickly and tiptoed out of the room. A minute later he came back with a yawning Ari behind him. She saw me and her face lit up as she reacted the same way her brother had.

When I was able to peel her off of me, I sat on the bed and they climbed in with me. I sat there hugging them for a while, then turned on my knees to face them. I let out a breath of relief to see them so healthy and intact, I had feared the worst after they had sold me.

“How are you? Are you okay? Had Daddy said or done anything?” I asked in a whisper. They both shook their heads.

“No, not since you left. He doesn’t get mad anymore, and sometimes he even plays with us,” Ari answered. I had a split moment of envy, but it was quickly replaced by relief.

“Good, I was so worried about you. You know the girl Kadi, you met yesterday?” They nodded. “She lives with me now. If you stay friends with her, maybe you can come over to play, and we can see each other again.” Their eyes lit up and they both nodded their heads vigorously. “But you can’t tell mommy or daddy. They can never know that we have spent time together, okay?” They both answered with their own ‘Okay’, but then I heard movement in the house. It was time to go.

“I have to go, can you get back to your room without them knowing?” I asked Ari, she shook her head.

“It’s alright, we sleep together sometimes, when we have bad dreams.” I nodded as my eyes filled with tears. That was something they had always done with me. If they had a nightmare they would crawl into my bed. I kissed them both on the forehead, then climbed back out the window.

I lowered it behind me and popped the screen back into place as quietly as I could. I heard footsteps from inside, and the light turned on in the kitchen. I ran as fast as I could back to my earlier hiding place.

I slowed when I entered the trees and Sadler appeared next to me. I didn’t bother saying anything, just made my way back to the car. The drive back was just as silent as the drive there, and when I pulled into the garage the house was quiet.

It was almost midnight, so most of them would be asleep. Apparently, it isn’t hard for me to be wrong. Becca, Drake, Asher, Adrian, Aden, and Aaron were all seated at the kitchen table. It didn’t occur to me until then that they must have had an obsession with A names when they named their kids.

Every one of them stared at me when I walked in the door with Sadler right behind me. I hung the keys up on the hook, and turned to get a drink of water. When I finally faced them again, they were still staring at me. Sadler was standing next to the sink, almost like he didn’t want to be a part of the dispute. I couldn’t blame him, I didn’t either, and I wasn’t even a hundred percent sure what I had done wrong. They told me I could go out when I wanted, and stay out as long as I wanted to. Finally someone broke the silence.

“Where have you been? It’s after midnight. You were told that if you were going to be out late that you would call to let us know that you were okay. We were worried sick,” Becca snapped. Ah, that’s right, I had forgotten that I was supposed to call.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to call. I’m okay, I didn’t get hurt or anything,” I answered. Drake met my gaze.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I need to know where you two have been. The mall closed at nine and I checked all of the usual gathering places. You were no where to be found. Where were you and what were you doing?”

I looked around the room, trying to find a suitable story when my eyes fell on Adrian. He had his head hung low and wouldn’t meet my eyes. I sighed and he finally looked up at me, guilt filled his eyes. I squeezed the bridge of my nose right between my eyes and sighed again.

“What did you tell them?”

“Only what I knew.” He answered softly. Which was next to nothing. The only thing he knew was that I seemed to know a couple of children from the elementary school. It was hopeless though. I would have to tell them everything. It would be the only way they would understand. If they even could.

So I did the only thing I could under the circumstances. I reached up into a cabinet and grabbed out a couple bags of chips, then grabbed one of the decks of cards that was always in the kitchen, due to the guy’s obsession with poker. I made Aaron move to another seat and I sat down signaling Sadler to sit next to me. That put me between him and Asher, with Drake at the head of the table and Becca next to him, Adrian and Aaron took the seats just down from her. I started to shuffle the cards and Drake opened his mouth to say something, but I held up a hand to stop him.

“Please, I think and talk better when I have something for my hands to do. Just…humor me, just this once.” Sadler, of course, took everything in stride, but when the others saw what I was doing, they split up the chips to use as money. I shuffled the cards a few more times then let Asher split the deck. I dealt everyone in, even Becca and she took her cards without complaint, though Drake looked like he wanted to say something.

“Five card draw, deuces are wild,” I informed them, and we went through the first round in silence, except for when they asked for cards. I won the hand and started to deal again. We were half way through the next hand when I started to talk.

“I’m not an only child.” I took a deep breath and the extra weight to the silence was not lost to me. “I’m actually the middle of five. My mom was married before she met my dad, and had my older brother and sister with him. Then they got divorced and my mom married my dad. Somewhere down the line, before I came along, my older siblings were taken from my mom. I’m the only child they had together. It’s not really a wonder, they fought all the time.

“Until one day it ended. My mom divorced my dad and we moved to a smaller town. Things were okay then. Not