My Personal Hell, D. Richardson [ebook reader browser txt] 📗

my eyes in understanding, but I felt I had to elaborate. I was scared and it’s not a feeling I was accustomed to. “Her wolf has come forward, and they’re speaking.”

“What do we do?” Becca asked, she had already sent the young ones out of the room. “What if she gets violent?” I shook my head.

“No, she won’t get violent. There’s nothing violent about her.”

“Are you a doctor now, Sadler?” Tom asked as he walked into the room. He knelt down in front of Ailith, but she had her eyes closed.

 

 

Ailith

 

 

 

I relaxed every muscle in my body, one by one, just as she instructed. Then cleared my mind. But I didn’t know what to do next.

‘Good, now let go.’

‘Let go of what?’

‘Control, you have to willingly give me control.’

‘Of what, my body?’ I asked in slight panic.

‘No, not completely. You’ll still have the basics of motor control, but you have to give me control of your instincts. You’ll react more like I would, but you can still control it. It will just take some practice.’

‘So I have to give you control of my instincts. How do I do that exactly?’

‘You have to trust me completely. No questioning, and no second guessing. This first time will be different than the rest of the time. I’ll always be here, but you will get the final say.’

‘And you’ll be okay with that?’

‘Of course, we are one and the same. I already have complete trust in you, because you’re just the human side of me, just like I’m the wolf side of you. I will always know that you’ll do the right thing. Even if you make mistakes, we will learn from each other. But you have to trust me enough to have a spot in your mind and body.’

‘What did you mean, ‘this first time’?’

‘You’ll have less control this time, but after this we’ll be able to work together. I have to have a taste of the outside world, or I won’t exist anymore. You have to let me have a few minutes in the sun. I’ll have more control over what we do, but once I gain what I need, you’ll have full control again. Until our first shift.’

“First shift?’

‘Yes, when we gain my true form. Then you will still have intellectual control and thus be able to dictate what we do, but it will be my form that we inhabit. That’s when I get to stretch my muscles. But that is a long time coming, it won’t happen until you’re ready.’

‘How am I supposed to trust you completely, we just met.’ She chuckled.

‘But I’ve always been here. From when our mother died, to when Drake took us in. He is a very generous and caring alpha. He will take care of us.’

‘Do we need him to take care of us?” I asked, barely noticing how I was already referring to the two of us as ‘us’.

‘Well, no. We can take care of ourselves, but that will scare many. They have seemed wary of us. Unsure of our nature and breeding. We must let them think they need to take care of us. Otherwise, I fear they may send us away. I have always been here, just pushed to the back until you needed me. And now you do. I can help you survive. And we need each other. Every time you reacted without thought, that was me. Your excellent hearing and sense of smell, is me. You have and will always have access to my extra senses, but they are too much for you right now. I have to gain control so your body can adjust to them without killing you. So you can use them to our full extent without discomfort or illness.’

I thought for a minute and saw no flaw to her logic. The whole letting them think we needed them was a little disturbing. Would they really send us away just because we could take care of ourselves? That was a question for later. When we had time to discuss things. I felt that she knew little more than I about our situation. So I thought it best to heed her words.

Now I just had to let go of my control. Which was so much harder than it sounded. I had survived this long because of my control. To let it go now was almost painful.

‘That’s it. Just a little more.’ I felt myself sliding to the back of my mind, and as odd as it sounds, I felt something warm brush against the mental me, it was comforting and I was able to relax more.

‘It’s done, now let’s take in our surroundings shall we?’

‘Sounds good to me.’ I answered, and our eyes opened. I say our because it was more of a combination of the two of us. She had no sense of control over my human form and I could feel her frustration with it. More importantly she had no desire to control it. She simply wanted to see the light and smell the air. Not watered down as it was when I was in complete control, but fresh with her own choice and, for lack of a better term, with her own eyes.

But our eyes opened and the doctor was kneeling just a foot or so from our faces.

‘Threat!’ my wolf exclaimed. I felt her panic and our reaction truly was instinctual.

 

 

 

Sadler

 

 

 

She finally opened her eyes and the first thing she did was throw herself to the side and scurry back until she was in the corner. Tom sat there shocked by her reaction. I stepped closer and caught sight of her eyes.

They were their usual black but there was a bright silver ring around the inside and the outside of her pupil. I had never seen this before. It might be common for half-breeds, except that in every lone wolf, what made them stand out, was that in wolf form their eyes were silver.

“What’s going on?” Drake asked. Tom stood and shook his head in bewilderment.

“I don’t know. I expected her wolf to have appeared but I’ve never seen it effect someone physically. My guess is that her wolf has primary control right now. And it‘s showing.”

“Well, that’s normal.” Becca answered edging closer. But Tom shook his head.

“This isn’t good. She’s unstable and this means that at some point she will shift. And then there wont be any way to stop her, except to kill her. She’s too old there’s no telling how long it will be before she shifts. Her mind will start to go now. She’ll be violent before the wolf takes over completely.”

“What do you suggest?” Drake asked running a hand down his face.

“Well, if you can’t send her away, and you can’t kill her, then I would lock her up.”

“For how long? There’s no guarantee that she’ll be dangerous. We’ve never seen a half-breed lone female before.”

“True, so I think you should just put some sturdy locks on her bedroom door, and keep her up there. Don’t let anyone who can’t adequately defend themselves see her. Keep her isolated as much as possible. And watch her carefully. But Drake, the second she starts to go insane, I think you know what you have to do.” Tom said all of this as if it were a matter of fact. They were talking about locking her up, not allowing her to see anyone she truly cares about, and waiting to see if they have to kill her.

I had listened to all of this in silence, while I watched her. She just huddled into the corner, casting fearful eyes around the room as if she didn’t know what was going on. I’ll admit the whole silver thing was unnerving, but it was still her. And honestly the silver looked rather beautiful on her. To hear them talking about what they plan to do to her, made me seethe.

“What are you talking about?!” I snapped looking directly at Drake. “Look at her! She’s terrified! Now you’re going to lock her up and throw away the key?” Drake met my gaze but not for long.

“Sadler, I know how disturbing this all sounds, but we don’t have a choice. We have to make sure she’s not dangerous. And until we know that, we can’t let her roam around. She could hurt someone without even knowing it. We won‘t just lock her up now. We‘re going to wait until her wolf has retreated and she’s cognitive again. We‘ll make sure she understands first.”

He left no room for argument, and I turned to look back at Ailith. The fear in her eyes broke my heart. I approached her slowly and her eyes tracked me. I knelt down next her and her head tilted back just slightly and she took a deep breath. When she caught my scent she jumped into me so her torso was laid across me and buried her face in my chest. She was trembling.

Asher approached and she stiffened again, but when he sat she relaxed and let him rub her back. We sat like that for several minutes until finally she relaxed completely and her breathing returned to normal.

Then she sat up, looked at us, and it was plain to see that Ailith was back. The silver ring around the outside of her irises was still there, but the one around her pupil was gone. She straightened herself and took a minute to look around and breath the air. I almost smiled. The first time of truly experiencing your fully developed senses can be a little intoxicating. She turned to look at me and I let my smile show.

“You’re back.” She nodded slowly and she took in my details.

“Yeah, we came to an understanding.” She took that moment to realize that she was practically laying on me and eased herself back. I thought about just leaving it alone, but it was a rare occasion that this girl would ever be embarrassed.

“Your wolf is a bit more affectionate than I thought she’d be.” I said waggling my eyebrows at her. She looked at me for a second then nodded appearing to be in deep thought.

“Yeah, I’m going to have to talk to her about that.” I couldn’t help the slight feeling of disappointment that arose at her words. “But until then, I have some questions, and I have the feeling that anyone in this room could answer them.” She stood completely and reached her arms above her head to stretch. I caught sight of Asher out of the corner of my eye, and the look on his face said he was having a similar internal battle to mine.

She started for the table but paused for half a second when she came close to Tom. She paused for half a second before waving dismissively at him, as she continued on her way.

“You can leave,” Her tone was sharp and he winced before his face twisted with fury.

She didn’t know it, but she had just pulled rank on him. To a human it would have just seemed rude, but for us it held a much deeper meaning. It was a command, and a command from an alpha at that. It was all over her now. Even before her wolf made it’s abrupt appearance she held a strength and presence that spoke of alpha. But now it was intensified ten fold. Her very posture bespoke of her rank and she moved with a confidence that hadn’t been there before.

She sat at the table and settled in to wait patiently. She knew there was going to be a long talk, and she was just waiting for the rest of us to get started. I couldn’t hide my grin as I looked at Tom. Though he didn’t see it, instead he was looking at Drake. Probably assuming he was going to call her to task for commanding a wolf under his domain. Apparently he didn’t know Drake as I did. Drake would never reprimand someone for doing