My Personal Hell, D. Richardson [ebook reader browser txt] 📗

them to retain their humanity even in wolf form.”

“What’s all of that got to do with her being raised by humans?” Asher asked looking bored.

“Even most half breeds gain their inner wolf at puberty. The fact that she didn’t and now can is remarkable. Tell me, did she suffer any trauma as a child? Anything that might delay her natural development?”

“Her entire life has been a trauma,” Sadler answered bitterly. “Her mother died, her father remarried right before. As soon as they had custody they forced her to do all of their dirty work and beat her. Then sold her into slavery, where she was tortured regularly.”

“Oh my,” Jason murmured. His eyes had gotten wider and wider with every word that was spoken. “And she’s an alpha you say?” he asked turning to me. At my nod he got thoughtful again. “Well, that explains a lot. Her wolf stayed hidden out of necessity. An alpha wouldn’t be able to help fighting back, but survival dictated that she must not or risk death in the attempt to defend herself,” he went quiet and I vaguely heard a couple of cars pull up into the driveway. The kids were home from school. I motioned for Asher to close the door but before he could Kadi slipped into the room. She walked up to the only stranger in the room and tapped on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, but are you the doctor that going to let Ailith out?” Jason stared at her, confused for a moment, before turning to me.

“We’ll see Kadi, go play, we still have to talk before we know anything.” She huffed a ‘fine’ and stomped out of the room the way only a child could.

“Who was she?” Jason asked still looking at the door.

“Kadi, she came with Ailith, as did a sixteen year old named Lori.”

“They’re both human?.”

“No, Kadi is half, low ranking I think. Lori is full blooded but from the lowest of rank.”

“Were they close?”

“Very, Ailith took care of them, protected them from the men that had bought them as slaves.”

“What did she mean, let her out?”

“We’ve had Ailith up in her room, as our pack doctor dictated, for fear of her sanity.” At my answer he went completely still.

“You locked her up?”

“Yes, our doctor said that since she was female, a half breed, and a lone wolf that she would become unstable upon discovering her wolf.” His face started to go a deep red. He was so angry in fact that he stood.

“Your doctor lied. There is nothing unstable about her combination of traits. The reason it’s a topic of interest is because it speaks of more solidarity than a pack born, pure blood.”

“I don’t understand,” I was shocked by his accusation. Normally it would be a matter of a lack of knowledge or having been misinformed. Almost never do you here a doctor say that another had outright lied.

“What makes a half breed so interesting is how they retain such strong hold on their human side, as well as their wolf side. They maintain complete control, you will never hear of a half breed shifting because of anger.

“A lone wolf may be primarily solitary by nature, but when they bond with someone it’s with more intensity than a bond between mother and child. Their loyalty is unwavering. When a female bonds with someone it is stronger than any male, a female will defend someone they care for much longer after a male would give up.

“A combination of all of those would only lead to an independent, strong female with unwavering loyalty and dedication. In short, you possibly have what could have been your strongest ally in a decorative cage. Something your doctor would be well aware of.” I felt the blood drain from my face as he spoke.

There was that phrase again. ‘Decorative Cage’ Caging was a serious punishment, one that usually involved an actual large metal cage. Wolves are social creatures with a need to roam. That‘s why caging is usually only done when you have a disobedient wolf that you don‘t want to execute or exile.

I didn‘t think that having her in her room would be that bad. I guess I had just chosen to see it as a more comfortable alternative. But in reality it was only four walls with no one to talk to and no way out.

“Have you been allowing her to see the girls? You said that they were dependent on her.” I shook my head and he ran a hand down his face.

“Why?” was the only word I could force from my throat.

“She’s half human. Human’s have a freer maternal capacity than wolves. With a female wolf they will have the maternal instinct only for other wolves. But a half breed will have the maternal instinct for any child she grows close too. You said that she protected those girls, took care of them.

“She’s passed puberty which means that her maternal instincts would have been in overdrive. Especially if she was willing to take pain for them. It’s likely that she feels that those girls are as close to her as her own children would be. What you did by separating them is the equivalent of tearing a female from her pups.”

“Oh god!” Becca whispered as she covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes were huge and empathy drenched her features.

“How long has she been locked up?” he asked quietly.

“Four weeks.” He jumped as if shocked by an electrical socket.

“Then we’ll be lucky if she hasn’t been driven to insanity or death by now. The longer you keep her up there, the closer she’ll get to one or both of them,” his words barely left his mouth before both Sadler and Asher were out of the room, taking the stairs as quickly as they could. Sadler was in the lead if only because he had been standing close to the door. While the rest of us were right on their heels.

 

 

Sadler

 

 

Insanity or death, insanity or death. The words rang over and over in my head as I ran to her as fast as I could. I had a hard time with the locks at first, I was about to break the whole damn door down when they finally slid into place. I rushed into the room with Asher on my heels and the others just getting to the top of the stairs.

She was laying on her side at an odd angle, right in front of the glass door where she usually spent her time. It looked like she had fallen over and just stayed there. I knelt down next to her and rolled her over so her head was supported by my forearm. Her eyes were open, but glassed over. She was breathing and I could hear her heartbeat, but both were faint, and she never even blinked.

“Ailith? Ailith wake up, babe,” I shook her slightly and her head lolled to the side toward me. When her eyes met mine she finally blinked and took a deep breath.

“You’re back,” she spoke so softly that I barely heard her.

“Yeah, I’m back,”

“Am I hallucinating? Have I finally gone crazy?” I had to clear my throat before I could answer her.

“No, you’re not hallucinating, you’re not crazy,” her face crumpled in disappointment at my words.

“Then when? I’m tired, so tired, I don’t want to be here anymore, I want to be crazy. It’s better than this.” I didn’t have anything to say so I just turned to the door. They all stood there looking down at her. Becca had tears falling down her cheeks, Drake’s hair was sticking up at all ends like he had been pulling on it. The doctor apparently had just been waiting for my cue. As soon as I looked at him he rushed to my side to check on her. I looked back down to see that she had passed out.

He started by putting his stethoscope to her chest and listening to, I don’t know what, then started putting his fingers under her jaw. He looked down her throat and then lifted her shirt and felt around her stomach. It was all very clinical, but his rushed movements betrayed his anxiety.

“She’s dangerously malnourished, and dehydrated. It looks like she might have some self inflicted injuries on her hands.” I explained to him how she had gotten them and he nodded as if he had expected as much. “She’s been caged for too long. She’s completely withdrawn into herself. She needs to be outside, in the fresh air. But not around a lot of people, she’s going to have to adjust to more than one person at a time again,” he backed up as I started to lift her. If she needed outside and fresh air then I was going to give them to her. Let the others figure everything else out.

 

 

 

Ailith

 

 

 

The first thing I noticed was the smell. It was like I was surrounded by a multitude of flowers. Their scents enveloped me and I couldn’t hold back my smile. Maybe I had finally lost it. I could think of worse things than imagining myself in a garden for the rest of my life.

“Ailith, open your eyes,” the voice was deep and seemed to vibrate around me. But I didn’t want to open my eyes. I didn’t want to lose the heavenly place I was in at the moment.

‘Open your eyes. I need to see,’ my wolf whispered and I moaned in protest. ‘Please, open your eyes,’ it was the first time she had spoken to me in weeks so I decided to oblige her.

As soon as I opened my eyes I had to immediately close them again. It was too bright. Wait, it was bright. I opened my eyes again, but more cautiously. It took a few moments but I finally adjusted to the harshness that was assaulting me. It was the sun, I was finally seeing the sun.

I took in my surroundings and realized why I had smelled so many flowers and why that voice seemed to surround me. I was laying in the middle of the garden, on Sadler’s lap. I wanted to move off of him, but I was too weak. I could barely lift my head to look around.

Drake, Becca, and someone I didn’t know stood several feet away, watching. Asher was sitting on the ground next to me, and Sadler smiled down at me gently. Instead of fighting my surroundings, I soaked them in.

The warmth of the sun on my skin, the sound of Sadler’s heartbeat and steady breathing. The mixing of his scent and the flowers that surrounded us. I let my hand trail down to the ground, and felt the grass trail through my fingers. And instead of the slight chill in the breeze making me shiver, I felt like I could finally take a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, but we must get an IV in her. She needs liquids and nutrients, I don’t think her stomach could take solid foods,” the man I didn’t know was standing a couple of feet to my right.

He had a stethoscope around his neck and his glasses looked like they were the kind that he had to constantly push back up on his nose. If I had to describe him I would have to say tall and gangly with empathetic eyes. I didn’t know why, but I felt like I could trust him, something my wolf agreed with me on.

“We’ll take her inside,” Asher said as he started to stand. I panicked and grabbed his arm. He paused though I could tell that if he had wanted to he could have shaken me off easily.

“No, no I want to stay out here,” I felt like I was going to start crying. His eyes filled with compassion but Sadler was the one that answered me.

“We won’t take you to your room, we can go to the living room. It’s close to both doors and a large window. You won’t be locked