Star Crossed, Sammisawr [ereader for textbooks .txt] 📗

again. "I have already loved and lost and not loving seems to be working out fine for me these last 30 years." His eyes were growing distant and his voice took up the tone it had when they first met.  
"I'm sorry, Miss Watson, but I think it wise for me to take my leave." He sank through the floor and left her to her thoughts. 
Angrily, Helen wiped the tears from her cheeks as she stared at the floor where he had disappeared. Follow your heart... Follow my heart and this is what I got... Helen sighed, burying her head into her hands. "William, count on it. If loving is something you have to learn, then that's what I will do. Count on it.  
 
Somewhere, a voice whispered in her head; Forget it, Helen. It's life.  
 
Life? 
William moved down to the basement, one place where he thought Helen didn't know about. Punching a table his hand went through it, causing him to be all the more angry. What was that?! Different worlds? Please! You're just being selfish, go on...trust her. Let yourself love her! A voice in his head kept telling him.  
"No. I can't, she doesn’t' deserve me. She should be with a human like the boys down the lane. Not with a ghost who is stupid enough to not figure you how to get to the other dimension," he said to the voice in his head.  
But she wants you, not those other boys.  
"Well she shouldn't!" 
Life... what is life?  
 
Helen changed into her nightgown, and went under her covers, thinking about his changed expression earlier. Why, why, why, does he need to give out those walls around him? He's so cold, so unfeeling... he's lying to himself. She thought. A sudden idea came to her mind as she pondered - what if his key to passing on to the other dimension is to love itself?  
 
If so, then what exactly must she do?  
 
If fate really does exist, she must have a reason to be there. And to love a ghost - moreover so. Helen sat up and felt her lips again.  
 
Life is how you see it. Follow your heart... 
"Ugh!! She should just go off and live her life and let me live mine!" But he couldn't help but think about that kiss.  
Well did you ever think that she wants to live her live with you?  
"But I don't have a life! I'm a ghost, she's a human!"  
So? You were once a human, you once felt love and hurt. You keep pushing her away, do you ever think that you're just hurting her more when you put your walls up?  
"Walls? What walls? I just keep my distance," he said growing angry.  
Exactly, with walls.  
William paced up and down the basement's storage part. Helen's face kept reappearing in his mind. 
"I love him." Helen finally admitted to herself, a smile spreading on her face. "I really do love him." She placed her fingers on her lips, lowering her eyes. "He loves me too... I just need to have him to realize it."  
 
To follow my heart, I need to get him to follow his as well.  
 
"If you're listening, William... hear me now. No matter what, I am not going to let you deny your feelings."  
 
If loving him means to be patient and pull him out of those walls, then that's exactly what I shall do.   
Just admit it! You love her!  
"No...No I don't!"  
Yes, yes you do!  
"I can't. What if she dies and leaves me?"  
Then you can follow her.  
"But I don't know how!"  
So you do love her?  
"No...Yes...no...I don’t know...” William had not heard Helen's statement. But even if he had, he would not have admitted it.  
Go talk to her 
He sighed. "Later."  
The voice was silent. 
Call out to him? Wait for him? What should I do now?  
 
Helen rolled on her bed, thinking deeply when a sudden knock on the door took her attention. Smiling, she sat up; "Come in, father."  
 
"You knew it was me?" Her father asked with a warm smile.  
 
"Of course. Your knock is familiar."  
 
"I thought I should check on you after what happened earlier. Are you feeling better? Have you made your decisions?"  
 
"Yes, I have." She nodded. "But what if the other is afraid of loving? I do love him... but he's scared of it. I suppose something happened to him before."  
 
"Well... try and get him to open up." Her father answered with a knowing smile, not wanting to pry too deeply into his daughter's business. Kissing the top of her forehead, he looked deeply into her eyes. "Love is a powerful thing. All that matters is what you will do when the time is right." 
William moved to his room but stopped at Helen's door and listened to her and her father's conversation. See I told you, she does love you.  
"Shut up...” he muttered.  
Moving on he entered his room through the wall and laid on the bed, preparing for a restless night. 
"How would I know the right time?"  
 
"Search for your heart, Helen." Her father answered, standing up. "You'll know when it happens." Helen nodded to her father, lying down on her bed. "Sleep now. Tomorrow is another day." He said, closing the door. 
Unable to get comfortable on the bed William got up and moved across the hallway to Helen's room. Remaining invisible he leaned up on the wall. I don't love her...I can't love her...but...Do I?  
He watched her settle in and get comfortable but she was not going to sleep. Her gentle green eyes stayed open surveying the room. But her long hair softly fell over her shoulders in the most perfect way. I don't love her... 
I wonder what he's doing right now...  
 
"I have already loved and lost and not loving seems to be working out fine for me these last 30 years."  
 
Thirty years. Such a very long time ago for him to be alone. No wonder he's so distant. Helen sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them. She tucked a long strand of hair behind her ear and allowed her eyes to travel around, rocking herself softly. Why do I love him so much? She asked herself. It's not like she's desperate for love... she's still young anyway.  
 
No... I want William. 
William floated forward slowly, making sure he stayed invisible. Sitting on her bed in front of her he just stared at her, his mind full of confusion.  
 
Helen's eyes wandered around her room but rested on the dent in the covers on her bed. "William?" she questioned.  
 
Quickly he got up, relieving the dent in the bed. "No, William, come back please. 
He stopped in his tracks but remained silent, waiting for her to continue.  
 
"William, I know you're there. Please, listen. I'm sorry if I offended you earlier. I should have thought deeper about your feelings." She sighed as he didn't reply, standing up. "William... I love you. And I'm not going to let you deny your feelings." 
"How do you know my feelings when I don’t even know my feelings?" he asked hovering above her bed. "You can't let me deny them if I don’t even know them."  
 
Helen looked down at that statement. She was sure that he felt the same way about her. "William...” she started. 
 
"No. Don't start. You don’t know how I feel because I don’t know how I feel, alright?" he said getting more distant to the point of harsh. 
Williams face went hard to her last comment. "As you wish," he said with a bow leaving through the wall. You know she made a good point, why were you there?” Just SHUT UP!" he yelled to the voice inside his head. "I don't know! I guess...So what?! I do have feelings for her! Just...SHUP UP!" he placed his hand over his ears to block out the snickering from the voice.  
Told you... 
Helen was stuck cold as she heard his voice through the wall. He's fighting with himself... She stood up and walked towards the direction of the voice, pressing her ear against the wall as she listened intently.  
 
"I do have feelings for her! Just... SHUT UP!"  
 
Oh, William, just follow your heart... 
"So what if you did tell me? That doesn't mean I have to listen to you!"  
But you do I'm in your head.  
"I don't care if you’re in my head! Helen shouldn't have feelings for me, it's just not right!" he said furious.  
How is it not right?  
"Like I mentioned before she should be with the human boys down the lane, not the ghost across the hall."  
She doesn’t want those boys though.  
"Well she should! She-" he stopped. Feeling like he wasn't alone he moved towards the wall which he felt her presence. Popping his head through the wall he glared, "Do you mind? I'm trying to have a private conversation." 
Helen blinked several times in surprise, gazing into those eyes once again. "Seeing that you kept hearing my own thoughts, I can't see why I cannot do so with you." She answered. "William, please, can we talk?"  
 
"About what?"  
 
"Just... talk." 
"Well we're talking now. What else do you want to talk about?" he asked, gaining that harsh tone he had when he had first discovered her in his house. "And by the by, I did not listen to your thoughts, I listened to your fathers." 
"I want to talk about you." She replied, just as harsh. "Why are you hiding from yourself and why are you distancing yourself? I don't like other boys out there, I like you. Don't ask me why, I just do. And what you're doing is lying to yourself! It's as plainly written on your face like a book!" 
"Why you ask? Why? Because I don't want to get hurt! Because one day, you are going to leave me like all the others I've loved. Okay? Happy? Every single person I have ever loved left me. My parents, my grandparents, they all said they would wait for me when they died, but they just kept moving on. Unlike me. Okay? So there, that is why I am distancing myself from you. So I don't get hurt again. I've gone through it enough I don't need it again," he said pulling his head through the wall so he was gone. 
 
Helen's eyes widened upon the answer and she hung her head, finally realizing the exact way to make William pass on. As much as she hated the thought, it was evident that the way to make him move on was to make him love... and stop fearing love. But that would mean losing him...  
 
Helen slumped against the wall, letting a tear run down her cheek. "What should I do?" She asked herself with a sigh. "William, please..." 
"Helen...even if I did love you…one of us would end up getting hurt. I don't want to get hurt, and I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt. Please...don't ask me to love you…" he said leaning back so hi abdomen up was in Helen's room. 
"Would you be in more pain if you can't love... or would you be in pain losing someone you have already loved and who will always love you back no matter where you are?" Helen sighed, repeating the question to herself. Deliberately, she started to speak her thoughts out loud:  
 
"Of course, one of us has to get hurt sooner or later... like my father and mother. But if I can pull William out of the wall and face the power of love, of course, he will pass on first." She cried to herself. "I'd like to know that I had at least tried to make him pass rather than confirming that he'll stay here forever."