The Electric Man<br />Being the One Act Version of the Three Act Farcical Comedy of the Same Name, Charles Hannan [elon musk reading list .txt] 📗
- Author: Charles Hannan
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THE ELECTRIC MAN
BEING THE ONE ACT VERSION OF THE
SUCCESSFUL THREE ACT FARCICAL
COMEDY OF THE SAME NAME
By
CHARLES HANNAN
Author of
“A Cigarette Maker’s Romance,” “Master of the Situation,” “The
Coachman with Yellow Lace,” “Iron Hand and Velvet Glove,”
“The World’s Way,” “United States,” “Sweet Olivia,”
“Richard Wye,” “The New Groom,” “The Setting
of the Sun,” “The Gipsy,” “A Fragment,” “The
Lily of the Field,” etc., etc., and in
collaboration with Wilson Barrett,
“Our Pleasant Sins.”
Copyright, 1910, by Samuel French, Ltd
New York London SAMUEL FRENCH SAMUEL FRENCH Ltd Publisher 26 Southampton Street 28-30 WEST 38TH STREET STRANDAny costumes, wigs or properties used in the performance of “The Electric Man” may be hired or purchased reasonably from Messrs. C. H. Fox, Ltd., 27, Wellington Street, Strand, London.
THE ELECTRIC MAN.
The three act successful farcical comedy, “The Electric Man,” which may be obtained in manuscript from Messrs. Samuel French, Ltd., was first presented at the King’s Theatre, Hammersmith, with Mr. Harcourt Beatty in the leading r�le, and was subsequently put on for a West End run at the Royalty Theatre on November 10, 1906, with Mr. Harry Nicholls as the Electric Man, the piece being transferred to the Shaftesbury Theatre on Boxing Day of the same year.
The condensed one act form of the play which follows was produced by Mr. Harry Nicholls at the Chelsea Palace and Metropolitan Halls with the greatest success on July 29, 1907, cast thus:—
Walter Everest and The Electric Man Mr. Harry Nicholls. Dr. Jack Strange, a young physician, his friend Mr. Loring Fernie. Stella, Jack’s sister, Walter’s fianc�e Miss Fitzgerald. Mrs. Anderson, his landlady Miss Nellie Dade. Jobbins, a private detective and inquiry agent Mr. Thorpe Tracey.Period: Present day. Morning.
Time of representation: Twenty-six minutes.
NOTES.
Walter and the automaton are never upon the stage together, so that throughout the play Walter takes the figure’s place by entering the cupboard “off.” A super is required, however, to play “dummy,” but when this happens the figure is seated in the cupboard with its back to audience.
Costume for Walter and for the automaton: Walter wears a brown coat or jacket and trousers of the same, with a white waistcoat. The automaton is dressed exactly the same as to trousers and waistcoat, etc., but wears a black frock coat, and as they both usually keep the coat buttoned, the waistcoat is seldom seen.
“Funeral March of a Marionette” to accompany the automaton’s scenes. The automaton walks very stiffly and jerkily, and moves his arms like a doll.
PLAN OF SET.
D in F indicates the opening leading to hall.
R the entry to drawing-room.
There are curtains at each side of the window recess,
And a Grandfather’s clock against wall, front of china cupboard.
Scene.—Walter’s rooms in London. Moderately furnished sitting-room.
On table R. a newspaper and two unopened letters.
The table up in the alcove is set for luncheon.
Walter’s brown bowler is lying on chair or sofa L.
The cupboard door has a spring so that it closes of itself when left open, a string being also tacked across the inside of the door so that Walter can pull the door to after him at end of play. A large bamboo rocking-chair is used for the figure, and is easily moved and turned as directed.
(Enter Jack and Mrs. Anderson D. in F.)
Mrs. Anderson. It’s as I thought, sir, the pore young gent isn’t up.
Jack (looks at his watch). Was he late last night?
Mrs. Anderson. Oh, yes, sir, as I happens to know being woked up sudden, thinkering to hear a burgular, which was only Master Walter Everest, the gent I does for, a-creepering and a-crawlering upstairs.
Jack. Is he often like that? (Takes up and looks at letters on table and puts them down again.)
Mrs. Anderson. Lawk a floury! no, sir, only breaks out occasional when his work’s bad. Mr. Everest is a chemist and electerician.
[Pg 8]Jack. Been working hard lately?
Mrs. Anderson. I believes as he have something very musterious and secret inventering at this here identical period of time, some mustery as he keeps in that there cupboard which the door is always locked constant. Oh, very musterious—and queer smells a-penetratering and perfuncteroring the house. Oh, here he are, sir.
(Walter’s door L. opens. She exits D. in F.)
(Walter stumbles in L. He is not to look dissipated, but to act it.)
Walter. Hullo, hullo! whose head is this? It isn’t mine, it can’t be mine. Stop! (Sits top of R. table.) Stop! (Picks up newspaper.) Morning paper, who wants morning paper? (Throws it on floor behind him, and Jack, who is watching him, picks it up. Walter opens letter.) Letters, who wants letters?—oh, one from my tailor, “We greatly regret delay in delivery of your new black coat. We will despatch it to reach your residence without fail to-day. May we remind you that your account——?” No, you may not remind me.
(Jack gives him a rousing smack on the back.)
Hullo, Jack, where did you spring from?
Jack. Came to town this morning. (Clasp hands.)
Walter. Jack, I’m very ill. I haven’t been out of doors till last night for weeks. Nothing but work at what my father left me. He gave his lifetime to it and then left it to me. It ought to have been the invention of the age. I went on the spree last night, when the whole thing failed.
Jack. I have some news for you about your stepmother, Mrs. Everest. By the idiotic conditions of your late father’s will—if the old lady marries again before your birthday on Monday next the whole fortune he left becomes not yours but hers.
[Pg 9]Walter. He meant it the other way about.
Jack. Yes, but that is how the will reads—instead of writing “He shall inherit,” your father wrote “she shall inherit.” She is the “she.” About forty-five thou., isn’t it?
Walter. Nearer fifty.
Jack. An adventurer named Potterfield has lately come to the village, found out about the will, made love to the old lady, got a special license, and is bringing her to town to marry her to-morrow.
Walter. What?
Jack. Stella is coming here directly. This wedding must be stopped or postponed.
Walter. Jack, something’s got to be done—suppose I were taken ill—very ill.
Jack. No good at all.
Walter. Well, suppose that—no, that’s no use—suppose again that—no, that’s no good either. I have a dim kind of idea that in some way my invention is going to help us.
Jack. You said it had failed.
Walter. It failed living; it might be of use dead. (Swiss Jodel.) Hullo, tra la la! (Momentary dissipated business.)
(Stella enters D. in F.)
Walter. Hullo, Stella how are you? Jack has told me all about this adventurer, Potterfield. I’ve an idea to checkmate my stepmother. (Gives her seat.) I’m going to postpone their marriage not by being ill—I’m going to die. What do you think of that?
Jack. I think it’s the weakest thing I ever heard of.
Walter. In that cupboard there is a figure exactly like myself which was timed to spring into existence yesterday at 5 p.m.—only it didn’t. It’s the work my father never completed. Something went wrong. There the figure is and will remain, dead as a nut.[Pg 10] I even dressed it in my best clothes, gave it a name, too, christened it Cyril Davidson.
Stella. Cyril Davidson? (Laughs.)
Jack. What was the little idea of making it like yourself?
Walter. My father’s instructions were to make the man I was creating a handsome, good-looking fellow, according to the very best available model. All you’ve got to do is to produce the dead figure and say it’s me. I’ll go away to Brighton; they can’t in common decency marry before the funeral.
Jack. Then it seems you made an electric man. My chief doubt is it won’t be like enough.
Walter. Come and see!
(Music. He takes key from pocket, unlocks door of cupboard, and a man in black frock-coat, with black bowler, is seen seated with back to audience.)
Stella. Oh, how wonderful! (Looking in.)
Jack. Wonderful! (Looking in.)
Stella. Walter, that is you!
(Bell rings off D. in F.)
Walter. Bell!—that may be my stepmother! (He quickly closes cupboard.) We might go into the other room. I call it my drawing-room, because there is a piano and three gold-fish in a bowl.
(Stella goes into room R.)
Jack, in case she comes I’d better be off. Can you lend me any cash?
Jack. How much do you want? (Producing loose cash.)
Walter. Two or three pounds. (Looks in Jack’s hand.) I’ll take four. (Does so.) Stop, I’ll give you a duplicate key of the cupboard. (Gives key.) The figure has got my black coat on, and I want it for Brighton. When you come back, it will be wearing this one. (Pointing to coat he is wearing.)
[Pg 11]Jack. Right.
Walter. Explain that to Stella.
Jack. Right oh! (Jack goes into drawing-room R.)
(Walter picks up and puts on his brown bowler, goes quickly up, unlocks cupboard, puts key back in pocket, then goes in after saying:)
Walter. Now, Mr. Davidson, my coat, if you please.
(He opens door wide, showing figure seated as before, then goes in and the door closes.)
(He is then heard calling loudly in cupboard:)
I say! let me go! confound you—Jack—Jack—I say! the thing is moving!
(Loud noise of struggle.)
Hold on, damn it! don’t hit me on the head! Do you want to STUN me? Jack!
(A loud cry and two thumps, then the cupboard door slowly opens, Automaton puts head out—the actor having had time to change into the black coat before entering as the automaton. It creeps out, not opening the door more than necessary—business, tries to re-open door by hitting it. It wears the black bowler set to one side of head. Comes down C., stiffly, and remarks, “Yow,” then goes up. Mrs. Anderson enters D. in F. with dishes and sets table in recess with back to audience. He goes towards Mrs. Anderson. She starts on seeing his strange manner. He turns and goes across and straight off D. in F., she goes after him.)
Mrs. Anderson (calling after him). Mr. Everest, sir!
(Exit Automaton D. in F.)
(Exit Mrs. Anderson D. in F.)
(Jack and Stella enter from R.)
Jack. I left him changing his coat.
[Pg 12]Stella (looking out of window). There he is turning the corner; he has changed his coat.
Jack. Let’s have a proper look at this wonderful thing before the old lady comes.
(They fetch out chair with Walter seated on it and bring it down stage, where they wheel the chair right round so that the stunned Walter faces audience. He is hatless.)
Stella. Hasn’t it slipped down in the chair since we saw it last?
Jack. I don’t think so.
Stella. Look at its eyes—Jack, they’re opening—it’s moving!
Jack. Great Heavens! it’s being born!
Walter (half stunned and waking). Where am I?
Stella. It speaks!
Jack. It’s living!
Walter. I want a drink!
Jack. Good lord! It drinks!
(Stella screams and falls on seat. Bell again rings loudly off R.)
Hullo! there’s Mrs. Everest! (He takes Walter, who has risen, by the arm.) Come with me, sir (leads him to bedroom L.). In there with you, quick!
(Kicks him in quickly, and locks door.)
(Stella meantime has hurried up with the chair and put
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