A Simple Flame That Wants to Shine, Alexis Doberstein [books to read in your 20s female .txt] 📗

I wish there was another time. I wish there was another place. Where I can just go alone to get away from all this pain. I’ve carried this pain for years and years. And it just refuses to disappear. People think that I’m fine when I’m not. All they insist on seeing is a bright, happy, cheerful, intelligent girl. They may see me on the outside like that. But they will never understand the inside. For almost 17 years it’s been nothing but a constant war inside me. Between who I am and who I want to be. People think that I’m understanding and too nice. But the thing is, is that people don’t know who I really am.

I don’t even know who I really am. And it’s frustrating. The only thing that I know is that I’m a girl who’s been hurt, torn, scarred, abused, and tortured. I’ve lived half my life not knowing who I am. And it’s been hard. Yeah I may have great friends. The best ones that I could ever ask for. But they don’t even know the whole story. And if I told them some of the stuff that happened. They wouldn’t believe me. They would have to be there in that moment in time to actually see it with their own eyes to believe it. In my life I have experienced death, and loss, and pain. In this world I have never felt any weaker, but also I’ve never felt stronger. Because I know that some how, some way this world has made room for me. And now it’s my turn to find out just what that is. To find who I really am.

And just not the girl inside that hides from the rest of the world. The real me. And I won’t stop until I do find her. I’ve been searching to hard and to long to give up now. I will find her. I will find who I really am inside. I will find myself once again. And this time I will not lose her. My name is Sara and I'm 16 going on 17 years old. I'm not your normal average teenager. I keep to myself have little friends. Even then my friends don't understand me half the time. There once was one who truly use to understand me. His name was Kevin. Kevin and I were like brother and sister. But then over time be became more then that. And now it's fall again and it's time to start school, and Kevin is..........different. I don’t know how to explain it. We started dating at the beginning of the summer and things were going well, but then his brother came back in to town from college and it just made him uneasy. We use to go to his house after school every Thursday, but now we don’t anymore. Every time I even want to mention it he says no. We hardly ever talk anymore. It’s like he’s hiding something from me. And it hurts because we use to be like brother and sister. I would trust him with my life. And now he’s just ignoring me. And not talking to me unless he has to. And even then he only talks about how I’m doing or about school. He talks about anything other then himself or his family.

I want to help him. But he just won’t let me. He tells me that I wouldn’t understand. And that I would end up getting hurt in the end. This morning I was getting ready for school when I got a text from him that said “Going out of town for a while. Stay safe. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I texted him back and asked him how long he thinks he’d be gone. But I got no reply back. I tried calling his phone and it said that the number I had reached was disconnected. I was really confused and worried. I couldn’t focus on school at all. That was the last thing on my mind. I wanted to know what had happened to my brother. My best friend. The one I fell in love with. I was going to find out some answers one way or another.

I tried calling Kevin again but still nothing. I’m really worried about him. I go to school the next day and it actually went by fast. Which was good. I decided to pay Kevin’s family a little visit. I walked to his house and it looked like no one was home. I rang the doorbell 4 times. I tried the door knob and it was unlocked. Which was not like Kevin’s family at all. I walked in. Everything was dark in the room. I heard something coming from his living room. I walked quietly and finally found the light switch. I flipped it on and was just about to say hello when I found Kevin’s brother leaned over a teenage girl’s body. And blood was dripping from his hands. And his eyes were definitely not human. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. I was frozen like a statue. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t speak. I saw Kevin’s brother move out of my sight, and next thing I know I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and then everything went black.

My head really hurt when I woke up. I heard voices to the left of me. I looked over and Kevin was there. But he was with his brother. I quickly sat up. And just as quickly I regretted it. Kevin turned around and looked at me with sorry eyes. I didn’t know what to do. All I could think about is that I had to get out of here. Kevin started walking towards me and I yelled. He stopped immediately in his tracks. He put his hands up in defeat. And said, “Sara I’m not going to hurt you. I would never hurt you. I’m still me. I’m Kevin. Your best friend. I know that everything is confusing for you right now.

And I want to help clear that up. I want to tell you what happened.” Kevin’s brother looked at him and said “Kevin. Don’t you dare. You know that’s against the rules. You know what would happen if you did.” Kevin looked back at his brother and said “Yes I do know. And frankly I don’t care. Sara is a wonderful girl. And I’ve loved her since I met her. I did what mom and dad suggested. Try and stay away from her because my feelings were getting to strong. But now I realize that I don’t care. All I can think about is Sara. All I care about anymore is Sara. I can’t live without her. And you’ve seen that. So you of all people would know Brandon.”

He looked at Kevin for a moment and then nodded his head. Kevin looked back to me. And started walking towards me again. This time I wasn’t so afraid of him. But his brother terrified me. I couldn’t even look at his brother. Kevin reached me and sat down beside me. He looked me in the eyes and said “Sara you have no idea how sorry I am for lying to you. I’m sorry for what my brother did. But now I want to tell you the truth. So there will be no more confusion. And there will be no more pain and suffering between us. How can I put this the easy way?? …………….Sara…………….I…I….My…..”

Kevin put his arm around me to comfort me because I was afraid of what he was going to say. He said “Sara I know that there are scared and you don’t understand a lot of things, but I want to try and help you understand the best I can.” I nodded my head. He looked at his brother and then back to me and said “Sara I’m a shape shifter” I looked at him and started laughing. He looked at his brother and his brother was grinning. I said “Yeah. Good one Kevin. Now what’s really going on?” He looked at me and said “Sara I’m serious. I can even show you. My mom is a deer and my mom is a tiger and my dad is a jaguar. I’m a snow leopard. My brother is the only one that is different because he’s not my true brother. We adopted him. And we didn’t know what he was until he was in his teens.” I looked at Brandon and Brandon waved at me and smiled. I felt an ice cold shiver run down my back. Kevin looked at Brandon and said “Please don’t do that. Why don’t you just explain instead of trying to creep her out or confuse her even more.” Brandon looked at me and then to Kevin and nodded his head. He then looked at me and said “Sara I’m not a shape shifter like the rest of my family. I was adopted at a very young age.

I don’t know where I originally come from or who my real parents are, but all I know is that Kevin and his family are the only family that I’ve ever had. And they’re the closest thing I’ll ever have. Over the years Kevin has become like a brother to me and my adopted parents are like real parents to me. I don’t know why they adopted me but I thank them for that because if they hadn’t I don’t know what would’ve become of me.” I looked at Kevin and he nodded in encouragement for me to keep listening. Brandon continued “Sara I’m a vampire. Not like the ones that are evil and from the movies and stuff. But I’m an honest to god vampire.” I looked at him and then at Kevin. Kevin closed his eyes and nodded. Then said, “It’s true. I’ve seen it for myself. And when you walked in you saw it to. And then