What if i love you, brea isomee [highly illogical behavior TXT] 📗

audible .

" say it louder ."

" i want to dance ."

" then don't let nobody get in the way of your dream . You can be a great mother and a great dancer . . . . i know you can . I know my little sister ."

_______________________________________

-Damon-

" every girl in the world love a young nigga / never fuckin' smile just mug my nigga -"

I turned up the volume on my stereo so that the Waka Flocka Flame song is blaring from my car as i pull into Jamal's drive way right next to his new truck . I just dropped Destiny off at school about 2 hours ago and went to my job interview at this fancy office building , but of course they took one look at the tattoos on my hands and neck and basically all but kicked me out . Sometimes i wish i would have never gotten these tattoos at such a young age , 10-14 . It only took 4 years to get a nice collection of about . . . 15 tattoos i guess , maybe more .

I shut off the car and slowly walked to his front door , the whole way loosing the tie that i thought would impress the people at the office .

" man , let me guess , you didn't get the job ." Jamal said as we sat down on his couch and my eyes fixed on the football game on the TV screen .

" nope , they barely let me get a foot in the door before they labeled me as some shit ."

" right , how you think i feel ? I'm still getting tattoos too ."

" you need to stop ,that's why the only job you got now is at McDonald's ."

He laughed " joke all you want to but McDonald's is better than nothing."

My response is just a low groan as i study the television screen trying to busy my mind . I need a job , bad ! If i don't get one . . . . i just need one . I want to move Destiny into a house or an apartment so i can take care of our child the proper way . I want to be a good father , husband and provider : just like any man would want . I want to make Destiny happy , and i can't do that living under the same roof as our mother .

" ay man , if you serious about getting some paper i know a guy that'll put you on . "

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-Destiny-

The first 2 bells in school went by fast . We mainly did introductions . I haven't spoken to Jasmine all day , who just sits in the corner mean mugging everybody . I mainly kicked it with Gabriella but i met a few new people . I met a white girl named Alexis who is pretty quiet but when we got into a conversation she wasn't at all quiet . She's really cool and down to earth . I met a boy named Ramone who is basically a class clown , he kept me laughing through the whole first few hours . I met a few other people also but none too memorable .

Ramone kept wanting to rub my stomach saying how cool it is that i have a little life in my stomach , i didn't mind too much seeing as how that put me straight to sleep . But like i said , the day is going pretty good . Can't wait to get home and see Damon though , i can't believe we actually made up . Now all i want to do is curl up into his arms and never have to move .
Chapter nine -

-Damon-

I just begin to continually stare at Jamal . " you must me stupid ." He's talking about getting into some illegal shit that's gon' get me locked up . No , i'm not that stupid , maybe when i was younger i did a few things , but now ? No . I'm about to be 19 in a week and Destiny's birthday is in 2 more months , you think ima be stupid enough to miss that ?

" what ? " Jamal asked " i'm just tryna help you ."

" you trying to give the wrong kind of help , man . If that's yo' thang -"

" na man , why you think i'm working at McDonald's . Man , i'm not cut out for that . "

" right , right ."

" yeah ." he paused for a second " man , how Destiny doing ? I ain't seen her in a while ."

" yeah , since she got pregnant she been in the house a lot . You know ? She ain't even been to the doctor ."

" i thought they had to go and get exams and vitamins and shit ."

" they do . But Destiny stubborn ass . . . she just been taking regular vitamins from the store and eating healthy . She killing me ."

" who the father ?"

" um , " shit shit shit shit shit , think " she won't say ." i lied .

" oh , shame . I'll still fuck with her though , real shit . She fine as hell and she got a nice ass personality . She just my type ."

My mind began to ache to give him a piece of my mind telling him he isn't good enough to have her and that if he tries i'll fuck him up , but instead i play it cool and in a strained voice i say " man , she don't want yo' ass ."

" says who ?"

" says her older brother . Now roll that piff so i can smoke before i go to this other interview ."

We smoked a strong blunt , one of the strongest i've ever had and right when i thought i was about to get up to get in my car i felt myself drifting off to sleep .

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-Destiny-

BRRRRIIINNNNGGG !

The bell sounds , signaling the end of the day and boy am i glad . My eyes are damn near closing every 5 seconds and my feet are killing me . This stuff here is not what i like . I'm going to have to get home schooled .

Ramone walked out the front door of the school with me with mine and his bookbags as kids bumped passed both of us " the next one who bumps into me is going to catch hell ! Please , i dare you ."

Ramone laughed " you a trip . Besides , you know you can't do nothing but waddle yo ass over to somebody and talk shit ."

" very funny , but i'm not big at all !"

" you showed me a picture of you last year . . . . you are kinda big . You actually a lil too big fa 3 and a half months . You sure that's when you had sex ?"

" yeah , i think i would know . The shit hurt like hell ."

He laughed " that's one of the perks of being a man , first time i had sex i ain't feel shit but pleasure ."

" oh shut up !" I smacked the back of his head and we both laughed as we sat down on the bench in front of the school to wait on Jamal to come pick me up .

" you know Ramone , your not that bad ."

" you aren't either , Ms. pregnant lady ."

I giggled a little " will you stop it with the pregnant jokes ?! God ."

" i'm sorry , i'm sorry . I just figured you'd see my point . I've never really met a pregnant person as fine as you ."

I gasped , acting fake shocked as a smile curled onto my lips " are you hitting on me ?"

He smirked " now why would i do that ? Then i'd have to admit that i've been checking you out all damn day ."

" how can you do that to somebody who is pregnant ?"

" a baby don't take away from your beauty . And plus , i know we just met but , i can tell you're a wonderful ass female , unique and special ."

I can feel myself blushing , and for what reason i don't know . He's a friend . . . like Maceo . Just a friend . He can't take care of my baby or me and i don't want him to . That's why i have Damon . . . that's exactly why i have Damon . I shouldn't even be admiring Ramone's smile and his light brown eyes , i shouldn't be watching the way his upper lips curls slightly when he smiles or how muscular and toned his body is . I just met him and already i love his sense of humor and behind it i know is all smarts . His -

" Destiny ?! " I hear Ramone yelling . He caught me staring at him .

" huh ?"

He laughed " aww , i guess i'm just mesmerizing , huh ?"

"whatever."

" i'm just saying . I'ma have you falling in love by the end of the week , watch ."

I laughed again as i see Jamal's truck pulling up " well , Mr. Ramone , there is my ride . I'll see you tomorrow ?'

" yeah ."

He handed me my book bag , gave ,me a light hug but not forgetting to kiss my stomach , and i climbed into Jamal's truck .

" dang , Dez , i don't see you for a couple weeks and already you got a new boyfriend . I'm so hurt . "

" boy , stop it . He's just a friend ."

" not by the way he was looking at you . God , i'm so hurt ."

" hurt ? Jamal , let's be real , you never gave 2 shits about me in that way . I was like your little sister ."

" believe what you want , but on some real , i been lovin' you for a while ."

God , when i'm in a relationship and pregnant that's when everybody wants to confess their love ! But when i was single and wanting somebody nobody had anything to say . Boys , are so fuckin' stupid . And like i said in the beginning i felt or feel something for Jamal . But once again i'm reminding myself that i've got Damon . Dammit , Damon .

__________________________________

-Damon-

I pulled Destiny onto my lap as we sit on the couch in the complete dark . No TV , no music , no lights . Just me and her , with me softly rubbing her stomach and her leaning against my chest .

" you know , Dez . I think you really should go to the doctor ."