The Opposite of Normal, Andrew Boggan [brene brown rising strong .TXT] 📗

my new boss and develop a wonderful working rapport with the new Business Manager.

The following Monday morning Jette had shown up for work. She was in her mid 50’s and was sitting comfortably at reception until staff had arrived. I was the first arrive that morning for work and I introduced myself and had taken her through to her office. We sat and chatted for about 15 minutes until our director had arrived and I went off to commence the working week. Jette had seemed rather approachable and I was looking forward to working with her.

We started off working extremely well together. She knew that I was confident in my job and that I was extremely punctual and reliable. However after 2 weeks of working in complete bliss, Jette displayed another side and it was one that I didn’t enjoy working with.

The way she delegated tasks went from a polite way to a demand, and I began to pose a problem with this. I’ve never had a problem taking a task from a Manager, but it always common courtesy to ask your staff to do something for them, never polite to make demands on them. I raised this with Jette and told her that I didn’t appreciate having demands made on me, I would prefer her to politely ask. Maybe this was the worse thing that I could have done. From then on, she always demanded that I certain tasks and never asked. One late Friday afternoon as I was leaving for home, she told me to get some filing that was done on her desk. She had known that I was walking out the door at 4.30 and when I was waiting for the lift at 4.45 she walked out and said “get that filing done Brendan, before you go home thanks”. With a stunned look on my face I said “excuse me” and she simply said “you heard me; it has to be done before you go home”. Having the attitude that I have, I thought there was no chance of me doing it; for a number of reasons. One, I was on my way home and I had packed everything up for the day, and two, she demanded that I do a task and did not ask. As the lift doors opened, I said to her as I entered “Ask please, and then I’ll do it when I come in on Monday, you know that I’m heading off home”. I know I had said this in a polite manner but the consequences that were to follow were disastrous.

As soon as I showed up for work on the Monday morning there was an email from Jette asking her to see me in her office to discuss my behavior. I toke a gulp of air and proceeded to walk into her office. She was sitting there focused on the branch’s budget. It had taken a few moments before she realized that I was standing at the office door waiting to be acknowledged. When she did see me she said “close the door and have a seat”. When she started talking, immediately she criticized my actions explaining how unethical and slack it was that I walk away when a manager asks for something to be done from one of their staff. When I attempted to explain that she knew the time that I was leaving and that I do not accept demands, she blew her top over another issue; my timesheets.

Jette had pulled out my timesheets from the day that I started working for the department and put a big red line through each one of them and said they were all done incorrectly and I ended up apparently owing the department 65 hours in working time. Then to make matters worse she told me how slack and disgusting it was that I never listen to instructions properly and she now she had enough of having to repeat herself.

I could understand some of the points that she was making, but she was addressing them in the wrong way. Jette was addressing the issues in a form of bullying and harassment, and if she truly cared about the performance of her staff, she would have to change the way she address’ performance issues. When she had finished going through all the issues her final words were “you’re work ethic is absolutely slack and poor, I refuse to work with people like that, it’s disgusting”. I kept a cool head, toke a breath of air, and calmly said “You have no right to talk to me like that” and then I got up and walked out the office and went home. I had quit and was to never return. Under no circumstances would I work with an employer in such conditions. If they wanted the most out of me; respect and a proper approach to performance issues would have made me stay.

After swapping and changing from job to job, and going through the same issues over and over again; I was lucky to land a 5 month contract in Accounts Payable for another government department.

The work was very routine based, structured, and the people I worked with appeared to be fantastic. They enjoyed having a radio in the workplace where everybody could sing along if they felt like it, people sent joke emails back n forth which I never missed out on and there didn’t appear to be anybody who was out to get someone else. The pay was not the greatest but I was willing to stay for the peace of mind knowing that I got along with everyone and that I was happy with what I did.

I worked in a small team with only a few others, but we were all around the same age. My Manager, who was Rachel, was the oldest of the group but she was only 29. On my second day after getting to meet everyone and learn more about my new job, I toke Rachel aside and sat her down in one of the small meeting rooms. I toke the risk of telling Rachel I had Asperger’s Syndrome and that sometimes I would have difficulty in performing certain tasks so the chance might come where I would need to ask the same questions perhaps a number of times before I could understand the answer.

I must admit I had lost sleep the night before because I was stressing what would happen if I didn’t tell Rachel that I had Asperger’s Syndrome. I truly felt like I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t tell her.

That’s the way it works I guess with some employers. If I make them aware and tell them how they can deal with an employee with Asperger’s then it should be a good thing, but I’ve also found that following that rule, also limits your potential for future career growth.

Several months ago I made the courageous step of informing my employer about my condition. In a few simple sentences I said “This is what I have, this is how it works, these are the mistakes I can sometimes make and this is how you need to deal with it so that I can improve myself”. That was probably one of the worst things I ever told an employer.

The following week I was ordered to get a letter from my doctor about the condition where my doctor was to psychologically assess my suitability for the job I had been doing for nearly 2 years, and then I was placed on a workers rehabilitation program which also involved a number of my tasks in my job to be taken away from me. Not only did this cause a major embarrassment for myself; but given that this was a high profile government department that thrived on outstanding human resource practices; they were dealing with this matter completely incorrect. As someone with Asperger’s I know what’s best for me and what’s the best way for me to learn a job. I couldn’t fathom why they would make decisions about a person’s condition they knew nothing about

My teenage years might have seemed like a life changing event in terms of going through one’s journey of self discovery but only now, in my mid 20’s have I learnt; what I went through is only the beginning of a never ending array of joy, panic, social anxiety, and excitement.

There was always that part in my mind that so desperately wanted to change how my brain processes information and how I present it. Nothing would make me feel happier about myself than to be able to walk into a party and just begin chatting socially with strangers or step into a new job and just automatically take a simple instruction by listening only once.

Although I can’t speak for other aspies, I think at some point we all begin to take a step back and say a few clear words “Can’t change it”

The very first day my Psychologist told me what I had, I never really knew how it would have affected my life and how much it had control over me, I think a lot of my teenage years were subconsciously trying to fight the Asperger’s within me by not allowing it rule my life, rather me attempting to override the Asperger’s. Now that I am 26, I’m beginning to learn that it’s just not possible.

Throughout my career I encounted many issues with Manager’s and supervisors and one job that comes to mind where I was told for the first time I wasn’t needed in my job simply because of what I had. As you would have probably read I faced great difficulty in building a professional rapport with supervisor’s and attempting to take clear direction, which always resulted in myself being placed on performance reviews, but working in the bar for the first few weeks really began to change my life around. My then boss was more than just supervisor, he often look at me directly in the eye and show deep concern as to how I was getting a handle on the job. At the end of one shift I was even taken out for breakfast. To have this kind of relationship with a supporting supervisor went far beyond any of my expectations and for once I felt what job security was really like.

My boss had empowered me to speak my mind to a degree if I felt uncomfortable with something, or if any issues ever needed to be raised – both personal and of a work nature – I could always go to him. Eventually that courage toke full control and I felt if I told him that I had Asperger’s Syndrome I would be presenting a new level of honesty and integrity to my workplace. So this is exactly what I did.

We sat down and had a drink together and I thoroughly explained what I had and how it affected me, I clearly pointed out that on this very rare occasion, the Asperger’s never came into play when it came to my work performance.

Although I certainly didn’t receive the response that I thought I would get, Paul didn’t seem to be bothered and we continued chatting over various topics.

Later into the shift whilst I was gathering ice from the freezer the owner of the bar gently tapped me on the shoulder and said “so what’s this thing you got”, kind of bewildered that he knew given that I told this to my boss in confidence, I proceeded to tell him and how I enjoyed working in a job where Asperger’s didn’t have an impact on my work.