The Opposite of Normal, Andrew Boggan [brene brown rising strong .TXT] 📗

/> The owner replied “Okay, then I don’t think this job is for you then” My stomach sank immediately and I had to ask the owner to repeat what he just said. His response was exactly the same and he politely told me to finish up at the end of my shift which was at 1am. From that moment it was if something had walked up to me and kicked me fair in the teeth or slapped me across the face. I kindly asked him “where does my condition pose a problem at work? The only response I got from him was “We just don’t think this is the right job for you” Although he said it with a smile, to this day I still can’t work out if he was being sarcastic or compassionate. That’s something I’m always going to be left wondering about.

I didn’t bother working through till 1am that night, I walked out the bar immediately and didn’t return for 6 months out of fear and shame from other co workers. Today when I go drinking there, the same bar manager will avoid serving me if he can and refuses to acknowledge my presence, now I can only hope this is out of guilt and shame but I highly doubt it.

So many questions have gone unanswered from this event, and to this day I’m yet to find a Manager who can understand who I am and how I work. All employers always say they are always on the lookout for enthusiastic people, yet, me, who I am to a high degree; I show this in my work but haven’t gone very far in my career. I think the biggest killer in this situation was I either divulged too much personal information, or I was just honest and people got intimidated by that but this really made me think twice about opening up to future manager’s. From when I got sacked, they left me standing there alone; out in the open and so vulnerable, to this day I want to ask “why?” I was simply looking for a job that I can do and get along with co-workers. I never knew it would be such a mentally straining task.

Although this was going back 6 years ago, in some ways I’m so glad they sacked me when they did. Firstly, they pointed out their true colors through discrimination and secondly, pushing me away from that kind of life that my manager has. Being discriminated against and sacked was certainly emotionally and mentally challenging to deal with, but here’s what came up in brain to get me through this: It’s so sad the kind of lifestyle Paul leads. He run’s a gay bar where 90% of the clientele are very false and plastic, constantly serving to their every need and living within the gay bar itself and not exploring the rest of what “real life” has to offer.

Now I am truly thankful that I’m not apart of that. Although I’m perfectly at peace to be gay plus have Asperger’s, I’m glad my life doesn’t focus on a bar where I’m persistently at everyone’s request never venturing outside of the narrow-minded lifestyle that this Manager lives in. To that I am truly thankful as it forced me to look into new places and search for new open doors. Although many questions I want to ask my former boss have gone unanswered, the truth will eventually be answered and until such time, I’ll be ready.

It’s so peculiar that when I act in a strange manner, or present words of eccentric nature, that I can pinpoint when it’s the Asperger’s talking or when it’s just me. To most people who know me this wouldn’t be a very clear difference but to me it is.

Regardless of whatever job I hold in the future, and however odd my behaviors may appear to be to an employer, I would never feel ashamed to be who I am in the workplace. No matter how much an employer tries to bring me down.


Chapter 11


With each passing day there is always something new that I discover about myself.

In the last six months a new life has developed for me. In particular a life that has become very social where I share very important and valued friendships with a range of different people from many different backgrounds. I am able to laugh and make others laugh, I am able to smile and make others smile, and I am able to be myself and with each passing new day I realize why I am important to this circle of friends.

Just recently I spent a Saturday afternoon at a friends house enjoying the company of six others, wonderful wine, great food and music and above all – fantastic company. At the time it didn’t occur to me but I realized the next day that during that social event – not once did I think of Asperger’s or how it would affect me in a social environment.

Because Aspies take comments rather literally and appear to be gullible, this somewhat worked in my favor. My friends would make jokes, and me being me would believe every single word and take their comments literally. When that happens I appear to be “blonde” or “extremely gullible” but this is a quality my friends like and one friend even mentioned to me that night, that it was something that made me beautiful

To hear a comment from a friend such as those kind words has been stuck in my mind and I now realize that I am important to somebody, that I am a special person and that I can actually make a person laugh. To know that I make somebody feel special gives me the greatest sense of accomplishment and pride, and I am now beginning to wonder if the two words of “Asperger’s Syndrome” is just a label or is something real.

I believe I’ve reached the point in my life where I simply don’t care now that I have it. Someone once asked me “If I wave a magic wand over your head and made the Asperger’s disappear forever would you be happy?” To answer that question honestly now I would have to say no, I wouldn’t want the Asperger’s to go away. It’s given me too many wonderful qualities that have made me unique, special and intriguing – it’s made who I am so I wouldn’t want that to go away.

Having Asperger’s doesn’t always make life difficult for the individual. It’s certainly made me a strong person both mentally and emotionally. At one stage I was ashamed to have it, but now I am proud. I can safely look at myself in the mirror and stare deep into my own eyes and tell myself “you are beautiful”. Yet it has taken many years of self development and self discovery to be able to do that.

People often ask what made me write this book and I have to say that explaining to people what Asperger’s is all about can often be a challenge and many people make the assumption that Asperger’s people are usually depressed because of their lack of ability to socialize and communicate, but I hope this book has opened your heart and your mind to what Asperger’s people are all about.

If you’re reading this book and you have been diagnosed with Asperger’s I can only prey that I have made you feel important and embraced in this world, or if your person wanting to know a little more about the condition I hope I have been able to open your heart and your mind about Asperger’s.

To feel proud and content on having Asperger’s has taken a many great years of learning to self-love and discover self respect but as soon as we reach that point in our lives, we know we can venture into this earth with our heads held high against the people who first put us down, and always sleep at night with a smile on our faces knowing we will change the world for the better.

Yes its true we can never make the Asperger’s Syndrome go away, but while it’s apart of us we have to embrace it, nurture it and be supportive.

Us Aspies might be seen as different, but we are “The Opposite of Normal”

“At the height of any struggle I can fight because I made someone smile”

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Publication Date: 07-20-2009

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