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permitted on houseboats during the racing, so that the attention of coxswains shall not be thereby distracted.

To avoid a crowd collecting on the course, no craft shall be permitted to leave the shores between the hours of 6 a.m. and 9 p.m.

To preserve decorum, only lemonade and ginger-beer shall be drunk during the illuminations, and fireworks shall henceforth be restricted to one[Pg 191] squib and a couple of crackers to each houseboat.

Finally, recreation of every kind shall be discontinued, so that in future the unpopularity of the County Council on land shall find its reflection in the universal detestation in which the Thames Conservancy shall be held by those living on the river.

TRIALS OF A NOVICE TRIALS OF A NOVICE

Extract from Diary.—"Wednesday. Went for a spin or trip, or whatever it's called, on Bowlines' new racing yacht. Felt very nervous when we turned the corners; nearly fell overboard while I was trying to balance the thing; thought we should have been drowned. B. said it was a wonder we weren't—thanks to me! Had a few words with B. Mem.—Never again!"

[N.B.—B. says the same.

[Pg 192]

FINIS BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS, LONDON AND TONBRIDGE End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Mr Punch Afloat, edited by J. A. Hammerton
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