Mr. Darcy's Diary, Amanda Grange [elon musk reading list TXT] 📗

resolved to crush them, if any

such expectations had been formed. I scarcely spoke ten

words to her throughout the course of the day, and when

I was unfortunately left alone with her for half an hour,

I applied myself to my book and did not look up once.

Sunday 17th November

We all attended morning service, and then the Miss Bennets took their leave.

‘Dear Jane, the only thing that can resign me to your

leaving is the knowledge that you are well at last,’ said

Caroline, taking an affectionate leave of her friend.

‘I am a selfish man. If it were not for the fact that you

had suffered, I would almost have been glad that you had

a cold,’ said Bingley warmly, clasping Jane’s hand. ‘It has

allowed me to be with you every day for almost a week.’

He, at least, has made her stay agreeable, and has taken the

trouble to entertain her whenever she was downstairs. It

is easy to see why Bingley has made her his flirt. She has

a sweetness and openness of manner that makes her

agreeable, whilst her feelings are not the sort to be deeply

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touched. No matter how charming or lively Bingley is,

he need have no fear of his intentions being misunderstood.

‘And Miss Eliza Bennet,’ said Caroline, with a wide

smile. ‘It has been so…charming to have you here.’

Elizabeth noticed the hesitation and her eyes sparkled

with mirth. She replied politely enough, however.

‘Miss Bingley. It has been good of you to have me

here.’

To Bingley, she gave a warmer farewell.

‘Thank you for all you have done for Jane,’ she said.‘It

made a great difference to me to see that she was so well

cared for. Nothing could have been kinder than your

banking up of the fires, or your moving of screens to prevent draughts, or your instructing your housekeeper to

make some tasty dishes to tempt Jane to eat.’

‘I was only sorry I could not do more,’ he said.‘I hope

we will soon see you at Netherfield again.’

‘I hope so, too.’

She turned to me.

‘Miss Bennet,’ I said, making her a cold bow.

She looked surprised for a moment, then a smile

appeared in her eyes, and she dropped me a curtsy, replying in stately tones: ‘Mr Darcy.’

She almost tempted me to smile. But I schooled my

countenance into an expression of severity and turned

away.

The party then broke up. Bingley escorted the two

young ladies to the carriage and helped them inside. My

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coldness had not damped Elizabeth’s spirits for one

minute. I was glad of it – before reminding myself that

Elizabeth’s spirits were not my concern.

We returned to the drawing-room.

‘Well!’ said Caroline. ‘They have gone.’

I made no reply.

She turned to Louisa and immediately began talking

of household matters, forgetting all about her supposed

friend.

As I write this, I find I am glad that Elizabeth has

gone. Now, perhaps I can think of her as Miss Elizabeth

Bennet again. I mean to indulge in more rational

thoughts, and I will not have to suffer any more of Caroline’s teasing.

Monday 18th November

At last, a rational day. Bingley and I examined the south

corner of his land. He seems interested in purchasing the

estate, and says he is ready to settle. However, he has not

been here very long and I shall not believe his intentions

are fixed until he has spent a winter here. If he likes it

after that, I believe it might be the place for him.

Caroline was charming this evening. Without Miss

Elizabeth Bennet in the house she did not tease me, and

we passed a pleasant evening playing at cards. I did not

miss Elizabeth at all. I believe I scarcely thought of her

half a dozen times all day.

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Tuesday 19th November

‘I think we should ride round the rest of the estate today,’

I said to Bingley this morning.

‘Later, perhaps,’ he said. ‘I mean to ride over to Longbourn this morning to ask after Miss Bennet’s health.’

‘You saw her only the day before yesterday,’ I

remarked with a smile; Bingley in the grip of one of his

flirtations is most amusing.

‘Which means I did not see her yesterday. It is time I

made up for my neglect!’ he replied, matching my tone.

‘Will you come with me?’

‘Very well,’ I said.

A moment later I regretted it, but I was then annoyed

with myself for my cowardice. I can surely sit with Miss

Elizabeth Bennet for ten minutes without falling prey to

a certain attraction, and besides, there is no certainty that

I will see her. She might very well be from home.

We rode out after breakfast. Our way took us through

Meryton, and we saw the object of our ride in the main

street. Miss Bennet was taking the air with her sisters. On

hearing our horses’ hoofs she looked up.

‘I was riding over to see how you did, but I can see

you are much better. I am glad of it,’ said Bingley, touching his hat.

‘Thank you,’ she said, with a charming, easy smile.

‘You have lost your paleness, and have some colour in

your cheeks.’

‘The fresh air has done me good,’ she said.

‘You walked into Meryton?’ he asked.

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‘Yes.’

‘You have not tired yourself, I hope?’ he added with a

frown.

‘No, thank you, the exercise was beneficial. I have

spent so much time indoors that I am glad to be outside

again.’

‘My feelings are exactly the same. If ever I am ill, I

cannot wait to be out of doors as soon as I am well

enough.’

Whilst they went on in this manner, with Bingley

looking as happy as though Miss Bennet had escaped the

clutches of typhus rather than a trifling cold, I studiously

avoided looking at Elizabeth. I let my eyes drift over the

rest of the group instead. I saw the three younger Bennet

girls, one of them carrying a book of sermons and the

other two giggling together, and a heavy young man

whom I had