Googol Boy and the peculiar incident of the Great Quiz Trophy, John Michael [white hot kiss txt] 📗

“The Queensbury rules? Aren’t they for boxing?” queried Barney.

“I’m impressed Tweedledum,” replied Savani as she looked Barney up and down. “For someone who can’t even spell Queensbury, that’s a good call.”

“Boxing? I’m not fighting no girl!” I interjected.

“Don’t fret Sootfell!” exclaimed Savani. “These are the 1829 Queensbury Rules for Quizzes!”

One of the debaters stepped forward, he was a squat little fellow with a square head and a protruding forehead, he had squinty eyes and an austere expression on his face. He held a small brass bell in one hand and what seemed to be a rolled up parchment in the other.

Savani strolled over to him, took the bell and rang it three times.

He then passed her the scroll, which she unfurled and started to read.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! After very careful consideration, I, Savani Vivian Godfrey, have decided on my partner for the Great Quiz. It wasn’t an easy decision by any means. In all honesty, there were a number of worthy contenders but I refuse to work with anybody but the very best and there could only be one winner.”

The group of debaters stood motionless and expressionless − it was difficult to gauge from their appearance whether they were excited or if they had eaten some bad brabbensack curry for lunch. It couldn’t be easy having Savani as their leader.

“Fellow students, I give you Penelope Victoria Abercrombie.”

The gang of debaters politely applauded as a tall and graceful girl stepped forward from within the group. Penelope’s grey eyes flitted from person to person as she smiled and nodded. She was wearing a mauve tunic top with a kneelength pleated skirt and her blonde hair was tied into a neat ponytail. She had an air of eloquence about her, like she would know the difference between a dinner spoon and a soup spoon.

“Penelope has a brilliant mind, outstanding speaking skills, tremendous discipline and diligence. She was born and raised just outside of Quockingpoll Flats; a little town called Hawkesbury Heights. She has excelled in literature, history and mathematics, winning the student of the year award at her previous school. Penelope is fluent in Ancient Greek and Latin and has been awarded the prestigious Acutus Crustulum Award for languages. Furthermore, she has been in the winning team of the Hawkesbury Heights Trivia Championships three years running. Without further ado, I give you the one and only, Penelope Abercrombie!”

As Penelope walked over to Savani, I recognised her as the new student who had joined our Art class at the beginning of the term − she sat two rows in front of me and was quiet and unassuming but, when asked to answer a question, was always precise and articulate with her response.

Savani put her hand on Penelope’s shoulder and all the debaters offered another round of applause. Penelope responded with a slight curtsey but her gaze remained directed downwards.

Savani strolled up to me and looked me straight in the eye.

“Pretty impressive isn’t she Sootfell?”

I looked over at Penelope and despite the fanfare I got the feeling that she was somewhat embarrassed by all the attention.

“Um yeah... Penelope seems quite nice,” I uttered.

“Huh! Nice? Is that all you’ve got Sootfell?”

“There’s no ‘nice’ in this competition... we’re going to wipe the floor with you and your partner!”

“Well... I think that you might be in for a bit of a -”

“By the way... who is your partner?” queried Savani.

“My partner? Ha! You’re just dying to know... aren’t you?”

I quickly looked around and realised there weren’t too many options. The band of debaters had grouped together in a defensive huddle and I had the feeling that if I walked up to them, they would charge at me like threatened lemmings. On the left side was the squareheaded squat kid with the little brass bell but I couldn’t really ask him since I didn’t even know his name. Then there was Penelope, but let’s face facts, Savani had already snapped her up and boy, did she look smart! Bummer! The only other person left was Barney, who was standing to the side with his finger in his ear... he must have got some food caught in there. It seemed that I didn’t have much of a choice.

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” I thought as I watched Barney shift his focus from his ear and start picking at his teeth with his fingernails. At least, as my best friend, Barney wouldn’t humiliate me in front of Savani and her gang by saying no. But then again, he might just turn me down flat! This was a tough call. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place! In this instance, the rock was 'an annoying Savani' and the hard place was 'an uncouth Barney.'

“Sootfell!” yelled Savani. “Do you have a partner or not?”

“Of course I do!”

“Well? Who is it?”

I wasn’t sure if I was ready to commit with my Barney choice but, in the end, it was a simple rule of mathematics − I had eliminated everybody else and there was only one person left standing. I just stood there dumbstruck, like a cow staring into the distance, dreaming of greener pastures.

“Sootfell! Don’t play hardball with me! According to the Queensbury Rules, regulation number 2.3 states...”

Savani clicked her fingers towards the square-headed squat fellow and he quickly ran towards her as he pulled a small black book out of his coat pocket and handed it to her. She quickly flicked through the pages and started reading.

“Regulation number 2.3 states that all participant’s names shall publicly be proclaimed or risk full forfeiture, and face the penalty of the stocks and shall be pelted with rotten turnips.”

“That’s a bit over the top isn’t it? Rotten turnips? I mean... that’s going to leave a sting. Someone’s gonna lose an eye! Rotten tomatoes I can understand... perhaps some mouldy mushrooms... or maybe even a bell-pepper or two... but rotten turnips? It just doesn’t seem -”

“Sootfell! Are you going to answer the question or are you