Happy Kids, Cathy Glass [best ebook reader for ubuntu .TXT] 📗

the child to acceptable behaviour through example and reminders, and obviously play with the child, but not discipline them.

Often a foster or adopted child will bond with and confide in another child before they do so with the adult carer. Make the most of what your family has to offer, and don’t forget to give your own child or children that extra hug in acknowledgement of the difficult time you are all going through, and that you appreciate their help and support.

Being allowed to look after someone else’s child is a very special and precious gift, but it also carries huge responsibility – in some respects even more so than looking after one’s own. For a child to be living with you long term or permanently means a catastrophe has befallen the child’s natural family, with the result that he or she can no longer live with their parents. The child will be carrying a burden of tragedy and the anxiety of separation, while being expected to make huge adjustments to fit in with the new family, and eventually transfer affection. It is little wonder that the child can be angry, confused and upset. On the whole children cope remarkably well. Indeed the courage and inner strength that children displaced from their natural families can show is incredible. Even after twenty years of fostering, I am still in awe of and respect their remarkable achievements. I doubt I would have coped so well.

Teachers

Teachers, nursery nurses, nannies and childminders are all responsible for children on a daily basis in a professional capacity. Of these professionals, teachers probably face the biggest challenges, as they try to educate what are often unruly classes. Apart from the children’s parents, teachers have the greatest influence in shaping young and impressionable minds. What adult, no matter how old they are, doesn’t remember at least one teacher – either out of respect or admiration, or for their sheer quirkiness? It is truly an awesome role, where discipline and education are inextricably bound, both for the advancement of the child and for functioning of the class as a whole.

Gone are the days when children sat silent and upright in neat rows, in awe of their teacher. Gone too (thank goodness) in most countries are the cane and other methods of corporal punishment. Now the teacher must rely largely on his or her authoritative presence for discipline, which in effect means what he or she says and does in their role as a teacher. But teacher training doesn’t always address the art of discipline as much as it should, particularly in respect of controlling a whole class. It seems to rely heavily on the individual teacher’s innate charisma and ability for crowd control, rather than giving clear and instructive guidelines on establishing and upholding discipline and boundaries.

I am not so presumptuous as to believe that I can supplant teacher training and experience and tell teachers how to teach. Nor am I so naïve as to believe that I can address all the behavioural issues a teacher is likely to face in the duration of their career. But as an experienced foster carer, often looking after children with very challenging behaviour, I work closely with schools, and am often asked to advise teachers and teaching assistants about the techniques I use for managing children’s difficult behaviour. As a result I have spent long periods in classrooms where I have witnessed many of the challenges teachers face. The strategies here are based on my observations and experience and have their roots in the 3Rs technique.

Presence

Your presence as a teacher – that is, the way you present yourself – is the way the individual child or class will perceive you. As with a parent (or carer) presenting him or herself to a challenging child, so your presence needs to be positive, immediate, obvious and authoritative. You should stand tall and upright, shoulders back, head held high, voice even and firm, and look at the class, scanning the children for eye contact. A teacher who is trying to gain the class’s attention while rummaging in his or her briefcase for a marker pen is more likely to be ignored. If you want the class’s attention, give it yours, by standing at the front and addressing the class with an authoritative posture and voice. This way you will show that you are the leader of the pack and the children will follow your leadership while they are in school.

Gaining attention

As a carer or parent I would never start to address a child or children before I had their complete attention – experience has taught me that if do I am very likely to be ignored. Make sure you have all of the class’s attention before you speak. Because of tight timetabling there is a temptation for teachers to start lessons when they have the majority of the class’s attention. Don’t, because if you haven’t 100 per cent attention it will be the child who is still talking or fiddling who will cause disruption later. If anyone starts to talk while you are speaking, take a meaningful pause and wait for silence before continuing. A poignant and well-timed pause, together with a disapproving expression, can work wonders in underlining your authoritative presence, both in a one-to-one situation or when dealing with the whole class.

Walk between the desks or tables as you talk and give a lesson, or while the children are working, rather than remaining at the front. Moving between the children makes your presence immediate, obvious and continuous, so the children are less likely to lose concentration and become disruptive than if you sit at your desk and mark.

Use voice modulation

Always speak calmly but firmly, whether you are addressing an individual child or the whole class. If you shout, or even scream, which some teachers do regularly, apart from losing control you will be setting a poor example to the children in your care. Shouting can also be very