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teaching Myself not to love you



v1. i told Myself not to miss you
Myself just went ahead
i begged Myself not to cry for you
Myself cryed to the point of braindead
why won't Myself listen?

ch. trying to teach Myself not to love you,
byt it seems my heart's unteachable!
i've done all i can do
but i still love you
i just can't teach Myself not to
love you

v2. i made Myself go out last night
but every face looked like yours
so i ordered Myself a couple drinks
then i swear My-stupid-self danced alone
too ignorant to listen

chorus.

v3. today i called you up
poured Myself out to you
and you laughed at my sillyness
i reminded Myself why i left
now My-stupid-bloody-self listens

ch.2. i taught Myself not to love you
i am no longer unReachable!
i did all i could do
i no longer love you
i taught MYSELF not to
love you...

All Of the Above


Baby please tell me why- should i be jealous of you? Please tell me why- should I care what you do? Please tell me how- you think you're gonna live without my love. Baby tell me all of the above. Baby tell me all of the above.

A Mother's Kiss Goodnight



When she was young her mother tucked her into bed
And said with her a prayer
Bending over the bunkbed
To lend her tender kiss goodnight
When she woke up screaming when it stormed
Her mother turned on a light
And again kissed her goodnight.
As she grew older, on the nights it stormed
She'd wrap her cover around her
And curl into a ball by her mother's door
When she awoke with nightmares
She'd cry to her mother,
Looking for the simple reassurance
That everything's allright
And for that simple kiss goodnight
Sometimes when her mother lay in bed
Reading her new book
She'd crawl on the bed and talk
And other times she read
She didn't need any fanc words
Just a kiss goodnight
That's the reassurance in which I delight
A mother's kiss goodnight

A Stained Winter Wonderland


Winter seems so desolate as i stare out the frosty glass into a pure white wonderland.
I work up the courage to step out of my warm robe into a steaming shower
I shiver as I squeeze into sweat pants from last years winter
I put on a sweater, white as the pure,clean ground outside
Knowing it will soon be the time
I pull on my boots, too tight for my swollen feet
I hate to admit it. I'm afraid.
I pull on my overcoat, as i tremble for the day ahead.
I grab my purse and keys, staring straight ahead to mask my fear.
I tiptoe down the stairs, slowly, one at a time, holding my breath
So as not to disturb the calm, serene quiet my house has become
A shelter for me, my belongings, and keeper of all my secrets.
But it must not have been enough
Because here I am again leaving
I blink back tears, as I lean into my car and ease into drive
I drive slowly, scared of what lies ahead, as the tears stream from my eyes, down my cheks and flung from my face.
As the tears come faster, I drive easingly faster.
Then as violent sobs overtake me, I lose control of the vehicle on the snowy road covered in a blasphemous white.
I'm flung forward, my seatbelt deeply cutting across my chest
I hit my head on the steering wheel, then I'm jerked backwards again.
I taste salt annd blood in my mouth
I try to open my mouth and cry out but I can't
I'm trapped inside of a completely totaled vehicle, left to die
I feel weaker by the minute, passing in and out of consciousness.
I hear sirens. Distant voices demanding who and why.
I try to tell them, but they're gettign that horrible blue bag
I feel myself floating away, as if not one with my own body
People are all around me, Mama, Dad, my friends, and aunts, and Gramma and Papaaw, and everyone I know.
They're crying for me.
I feel bad. I can't see them now, not like this.
I close them out, but only to see a vast, beautiful field of white, stained only in one spot.
Stained deep down in a deep dark rich red.
A stained winter wonderland.

Someday

 

Someday this will all make sense
    But for right now, you have to stay strong
    Even through all the foolishness
    You have to fight the urge to prove them wrong.

I know the truth, so do you.
    In due time, it will be clear to all.
    So bite your tongue, as I try to do.
    If we stand strong, we will not fall.

Believe in tomorrow, what it can bring.
    You never know what may happen
    We may fight, we may kiss, me may cuss, we may sing.
    The best day of our life may happen.

You have to understand and know
    What happens today may be hell,
    But stay strong, and let the pain go
    And all will indeed be well.

Someday you and I will shine
    We will own the moon and stars above.
    I'll call you 'mine.' Just mine.
    And I'll give to you, my dear, all my love.

Every Time

 

 

Every timeless excuse you use 

To justify what you do to me

Causes me to shut you out a little more

I can't be what you want me to be

 

Every time you lose control

And push me around

I push you a little further away

Just leave me laying here on the ground

 

Every time you apologize

I lear n to rely a little more on myself

So I can prove I don't need you

You're too wrapped up with yourself

 

Ever tear I ever shed for you

Has turned my heart to stone

I've shut you out of my life, 

Because your house is not my home,

 

Anymore.

I don't need you anymore. 

Your Innocent Twilight Butterfly

Watch me as I light up the night sky.

I'll dance around and color your mind.

Like the innocence of a butterfy, 

You have not met my kind.

 

The creatures of the twilight

That make your dreams come true,

Come with me into the night

That's what I'll be for you

 

Your innocent twilight butterfly

That's what I will be

I'll illuminate the night sky

The moon- a spotlight for me

 

Paint me a picture with your lips

Watch me, your butterfly

Paroulletes, twirls, spins, and dips

I am your innocent twilight butterfly.

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