Broken Pieces, L. S. [brene brown rising strong .txt] 📗

I've noticed him trying to get close to me.

I shrugged my shoulders as my answer.

"Going home?" he asked trying to create a topic.

I've never been close to any guy before since I only just entered puberty when Dan started forcing himself to me.

"Yeah" I answered.

"Want a ride?" he offered.

I shook my head.

"Your dad's here?"

"He's not my dad" I corrected. "And yeah he's here"

He nods but still followed me.

"I figured." He said. "How about I asked you out this weekend?"

I stopped and looked at him.

"It's not about the party, I know you said no but how about we hang out before hand?"

This is the first time that a guy asked me out. I don't know what came into his head that he suddenly showed interest in me. I know I am not his type since he usually goes out with the cheerleaders or it girls and I am none of them.

I am just me, the girl who wears baggy clothes, the girl who barely talks to nobody, and the girl who have a dark life so I really don't know what interests him about me. Maybe, he is just playing with me, but I felt so strange that it seems I am liking the attention that he is giving me.

"Sorry Max, but I can't" that's all I was able to say

He put his hands on the pocket of his green sweater.

"Please don't say no" he told me then stopped in front of me "Okay, why don't we do this, let me walk you to your car then we can talk, you can think about my offer tonight and give me your answer tomorrow."

I was about to decline, but he suddenly grabs my hand and pulled me out of the hallway. All eyes are on us and the warmth of his hands made me feel like I was finally safe.

I don't know how Dan is going to react but it looks like my hand doesn't want to let go of his hand.

As usual Dan is already waiting in the parking lot. He was standing beside his car. I immediately let go of Max's hand when he stared at me in daggers. I knew he won't be happy seeing me hanging out with some guy at school.

"Hi Mr. Winters" Max greeted him.

"Andrews" I corrected Max.

Dan isn't my father, so I never took his last name. Winters is my biological father's last name.

"Sorry Mr. Andrews" he apologizes.

Dan nodded and smiled at Max, which is strange.

"Get in" he told me.

Max stood still beside the car, I smiled at him before getting in the vehicle.

"Mr. Andrews" he called Dan who was about to get in the driver's seat.

He walked to the door of the driver's seat.

"What is it kid?" Dan asked.

I saw the curiosity on his face.

"I-I was wondering if I can hang out with Jillian this weekend?" he asked permission.

My eyes widened, I didn't expect that Max would do that. I was afraid that Dan might do something with him. I was afraid that he might hurt him. I was about to get off the car when Dan spoke.

"Well, you're not going to hang out with me so I think it's better if you asked her about it" he said.

I saw Max smiled from the window.

"But is it fine with you sir if I asked her out?"

'Yeah, if it's fine with her then its fine with me" he answered.

I smiled even though I am still wondering why Dan allowed Max to go out with me.

"Thank you sir" Max said with so much excitement.

I even saw them shook hands before Max ran towards his car like a little kid.

Then Dan got in the car, I was still smiling like an idiot.

"Say yes to him and you'll be dead" he growled at me.

I knew it! How can I be so idiot to believe that he will actually let me? Dan will never let me to be happy. He's an evil, a monster, and he only wants me to suffer.

The smile vanished from my face but I didn't say anything, it's just useless. No matter what I say he will only listen to himself. I just looked outside and waited for him to drive away.

At home, mom is as always wasted. She is lying on the couch, eyes closed and shaking. Dan threw his jacket on her face to wake her up. She's high, so most of the time she is having hallucinations and withdrawals.

I didn't care about them so I went straight to my room. Our house is just a small two-story, two-bedroom home. My dad bought it when he and mom got married, but since he died it has always been me and my mom. I only have few memories of my dad because he spent his time in the army.

Sometimes, I can't help myself from thinking, if dad didn't die for sure my life will be different. My life will not be like this, I will grow up a happy kid. Mom will be on her best self and no one can ever touch me.

But life is so unfair. God is unfair, he took my dad's life even before I was old enough to remember him. He let my mom married Dan and he let him live with us in this hell of a place.

I wiped the tears that fell from my eyes, I know I shouldn't blame god for it. But I just can't help it, they say that God will not give you trials you won't overcome, that you just have to keep your faith and let him handle everything. But it's been five freaking years and I still am here, I am still suffering and I still can't figure out on when God will let me see the light. 

Friday is the day that I hate the most. It means tomorrow is Saturday and no school and it also means that I have no choice but to stay at home with Dan and Mom.

Students hurriedly went to their respective classes after they heard the bell rang. I boringly walked to Math.

Nicole was sitting on the second row with Gia and I saw her smiled at me when I passed by so I smiled back. I am happy that even though she said we're not friends, our relationship somehow improved.

I sat on my usual seat, at the back of course. Max is already sitting beside my desk smiling at me like an idiot. His eyes followed my every move made me want to melt any minute. Of course, Mr. Brown is still not there. I love how punctual he is.

"Good morning Jill" he greeted me with the smile that doesn't leave his face.

"Morning"

He stood and moved his chair over to mine so that our arms our brushing each other. His fellow jocks are busy checking something on their cell phones.

"So, did you think about it?" he asked.

I didn't sleep much since I was thinking of the best way to decline his offer. Max didn't show me anything wrong and I really don't know how to turn him down because I know inside my heart that I want to go out with him. I actually would like to try being normal. I wanna experience going out on a date but if I say yes Dan will kill me.

I took a deep breath and turned to him.

"You know Max, as much as I would like to go out with you. . . I can't. . I'm sorry" I said apologetically.

He shook his head.

"Why? What's the problem? Your dad already gave you permission, so what's wrong?"

I sighed, I don't know how to answer him.

"I just have a lot of things to do" I said.

I know that was the lamest excuse ever.

"Jill, I am not asking your whole weekend, I am only asking few hours of your time. I promise we won't be out late. . Please?" he begged.

I bit my lip, I really don't know what to tell him anymore. I didn't expect he can be this persuasive.

"I know what you think of me, I know you see me as a player and I am, but one thing you don't know is I have had a crush on you since the first time I saw you in 8th grade, when you walk to Biology wearing that blue jersey jacket, I can still remember how cute you looked in that jacket" he said then smiled.

I was surprised that I knew my face was so red. I looked down in embarrassment. That was two years ago and I can hardly even remember how I look in 8th grade.

"I tried to talk to you but you were so distant, like you are always afraid or something and I felt like you don't like me. But I really like you Jill, that's why last week I gathered all the courage I have to talk to you so please don't turn me down"

I closed my eyes, with his confession he just made it more difficult for me to say no. I took another deep breath.

"Alright" I surrendered.

"Alright? Yes you are going out with me?" he asked with confusion.

I nod and a smile grew to his face.

"But in one condition"

"Anything"

"I can't do it after class or tomorrow or on Sunday. I can only do it now" I said.

He cocked his brows.

"Now? As in right now?"

I nod.

"But I have lacrosse practice later" he reasoned out.

I shrugged.

"I see, well, all I have is now. I can skip class if you will skip lacrosse practice"

He stopped for a while. I guess he is trying to think if he will skip his lacrosse practice, besides that's the only thing that he is really good at.

"Okay, let's do it" he said with conviction.

I laughed with his reaction. Last week the Max that I know was the player, the jack ass who loves to break innocent hearts. I didn't expect there's more in him, I didn't know that he can be very persuasive and it flatters me to know that he has a crush on me.

He stood up and offered me his hand.

"Let's go!"

I cocked my brow, when I said we will skip class I meant we will at least finish Mathematics, besides Mr. Brown will be there any time now.

"Aren't we going to at least finish Math?" I asked.

He shook his head, and he grabs my hand and we hand in hand made our way out of the classroom.

Max drove to the mall near the school since I told him that we need to go back before the class ends since Dan will be at school by that time. I knew he was wondering why I should keep our date from Dan since he already agreed that Max can take me out but I am glad the he didn't push it and just kept it to himself.

That was the second time that I was able to go to the mall, the first was before my mom got married and that was 6 years ago or so. I am so embarrassed how amazed I was to see the huge changes in the facilities. I love how colorful the stalls are. I realized that was the first time in five years that I actually appreciated something.

We were walking down the hall when my attention was caught by a purple floral dress that's displayed in the front of a stall.

I remember how I love wearing fancy dresses when I was a kid, I never liked wearing jeans or pants. I just want to wear dresses. My mother used to read me stories of Cinderella, Snow White and Little Mermaid so I grew wanting to be like them. Every day, I want to look like one of the Disney Princesses, I never go out of the house without making sure that I look nice but everything changes because of Dan.

"That will look good on you"

I turned to look on my side and found Max looking at the same dress. I immediately shook my head.

"No, I don't wear those" I said and started