Broken Pieces, L. S. [brene brown rising strong .txt] 📗

I will actually get hurt for finally closing my doors for the possibility that we will be more than what we were.

The corridor is quiet, everyone is in their respective classes. I missed Math again I just wished my teachers won’t call Dan again.

But that’s not important anymore, the pain that I feel in my heart is much harder to bear than the physical pain that I’ll get from Dan.

Tears finally fell from my eyes and I can’t make them stop. I opened my locker, buried my face inside and cried my eyes out.

The next hour after I fixed myself, I decided to attend my second period, it’s French and I can’t miss it again besides it’s the only class left that I have with Nicole and I really need to talk to her. I am running out of time. Two more subjects after French and its lunch, for sure by that time Dan will be waiting on me in the parking area.

I made sure I will look as normal as possible before I step foot inside the classroom. I am afraid to see Max; we also have French together and Math of course. I don’t know what to tell him anymore, he might be angry at me and I don’t think I can meet his burning eyes on me.

I was able to finally breathe when I saw Nicole in her usual seat with her usual cliques.

Mr. Pettily is already in the classroom but he hasn’t started yet. Nicole gave me a questionable look as I passed their seats.

I slightly shrugged my shoulders to give her an answer. The seat beside me is empty, I assume Max will not be here today. Actually, I was glad that he isn’t here, after the incident at the boy’s locker room earlier I really don’t know what to tell him or it’s more like I don’t know how to act around him. Everything between us changed when I allowed myself to fall for him. I am so guilty that I hurt his feelings but I’d rather have him hate me for not admitting my feelings than to tell him the truth and be disgusted about me.

Mr. Pettily started discussing about sentence construction and I can’t help myself from fidgeting. I am so worried, I wanna talk to Nicole as soon as possible. I am running out of time and I can’t afford to lose this one and only chance that I have to finally be free from Dan.

I took my notebook out of my backpack and started scribbling: ‘Need to talk to you ASAP. Meet me in the ladies room now! It’s important’. I folded the paper and walked towards Mr. Pettily’s direction who was writing something on the chalk board.

“Can I go to the ladies room Mr. Pettily?” I asked my professor.

He looked at me from head to toe, maybe he is wondering why all of a sudden I talked to him. I don’t talk inside the classroom unless I was asked to.

I sighed to let him know that I am still waiting for his approval.

“Okay” he said as he continues to write on the board.

Before I walked out of the room I secretly threw the paper to Nicole, good thing our classmates were busy chit-chatting so no one actually noticed it.

As always the corridor was very quiet around that time, I walked inside the ladies room, I waited for it to be empty before going inside then I did the same exact thing that Nicole did whenever we’re having a private conversation inside the ladies room.

I glance at my reflection in the mirror and I was surprised from what I saw. The girl standing in front of me is a complete stranger; her hair is messy, she completely lost her shiny blonde locks, her flawless fair skin turned into a lifeless pale complexion and she has the saddest blue eyes I have ever seen. For the past five years I stopped taking care of myself. Since Dan forced himself at me I never bothered checking myself on the mirror. I don’t care if I look like a mess which I am by the way. I just go on with my life without really caring about myself.

“What’s wrong?”

I immediately turned around when I heard Nicole’s voice. I took a deep breath.

“Dan is hooking me up with an old rich man and he is picking me up today at lunch” I said directly.

She nods.

“Okay” she said.

I was a bit disappointed about her reaction but I can’t be super sensitive right now. I badly need her help.

“Please help me . . .” I said almost begging “This is the only chance I have to be able to be free . . .” I was about to cry.

She took a deep breath.

“Let me see what I can do” she mumbled as she takes her phone out of her pocket.

I stood there watching her navigate her cell phone.

“Hey it’s me” she talks to someone on the phone.

I don’t know who is she speaking to, maybe the friend that she said who will pick us up later. I remained quiet as I watched her move.

“Yeah, something came up” she continues talking. “You have to pick us up in an hour or before lunch time . . . I know . . . Come on I am not gonna ask if it’s not important . . .” she rolled her eyes “You are already in the neighborhood so what's the problem?” she was raising her voice this time.

I stood still and watched her as she talked to the person on the other line, my heart is beating so fast cause with the look on her face she isn't getting the answer that she wants from the person on the other line.

I am afraid that she might not be able to convince him or her to pick us up earlier than what they agreed on.

“So?” I asked.

I waited for her to talk to me but she put gloss on her lips instead of telling me what happened. She sighed and then turned to me.

“Relax Winters, everything is good . . . He’ll be here in an hour so please chill okay?” she said licking her lips. “You’re safe now”

I ran towards her and hugged her so tight. I am so happy that I am finally getting out of St. Louis. I am going to be free.

“Thanks a lot” I whispered trying so hard not to cry.

She slightly pushed me away from her.

“Geez Winters, stop the drama . . . we’re about to be free so please a ‘thank you’ is enough no more hugs okay?” she rolled her eyes.

I nod then wiped my tears.

“Alright, fix yourself . . . I’ll meet you in the parking area in an hour okay? I’ll go now . . .”

She walked out of the ladies room and I was left there looking at myself in the mirror. This is it! It’s really happening. I am going to be free. I don’t know what is waiting for us in Florida but knowing that I am with Nicole made me feel a little braver. I hope someday I’ll be able to be like her; she is so brave that she isn’t afraid of getting what she wants. 

I didn’t come back to class after my conversation with Nicole, instead I emptied my locker and put as many things as I can inside my back pack. I also counted the money I have saved for the past years and based on the calculation it’s enough to support me for a month or so until I can find a job or anything that can help me survive.

I stayed at the cafeteria, I ate some salad cause I didn’t eat breakfast and it’s going to be a long drive. All I want is to get away from this place so I don’t want any stop over just to find some food.

I patiently waited for the time to come, I saw Nicole passed by with her usual cliques. I kind of envy her because she is trying to spend as much time as possible with her friends. I know it’s hard to say goodbye with friends but it’s kind of nice to know that you will somehow be missed.

Fifteen more minutes before the time I decided to just wait for Nicole outside the building. I carried my backpack, silently walk through the corridor and sat at the empty Carterch at the parking area. There are a lot of things in my mind, the life that I am going to have in Florida, is it going to be good or it will be the same with the one I have right now or is it going to be worse. I immediately dropped the worse thought in my head. Nothing can be worse than the life that I have with Dan, because my life right now is hell.

After a while a black car stopped in front of me.

“You Jillian?” he asked after he opened the window.

I nod,  I think he is Nicole’s friend. He got off his car. I think he is in his mid-twenties. He is tall, maybe about 6 foot and an inch or two, he looks rich too, wearing a fit blue t-shirt, faded jeans and red Chuck Taylor sneakers. Her body is perfectly toned, his sharp pointed nose is so sexy and his thick lips are so full and red. His looks like a rock star, with his styled cappuccino hair and his round blue eyes that I think I am going to melt any second.

“Hey” he snapped.

I went back to reality, my cheeks flushed in embarrassment. What is wrong with me? This isn’t the first time that I stood in front of guy, sometimes I even see them naked (if you know what I mean) but this guy is just so hot, as in super hot!

“Ha?”

He smiled.

“I said my name is Keith” he offered his hand.

I shook it immediately, I can feel that I am still blushing.

“Where’s Nicole? “He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I think she’s still inside, but she’ll be out anytime now” I said looking at my wrist watch.

It’s almost time and I can feel very excited and nervous at same time.

“Hey”

I smiled when I heard Nicole’s voice as she walked her way towards our direction. She is carrying a luggage and her pink shoulder bag. I didn’t know how was she able to keep this luggage without attracting attention.

Keith walked to meet her, she puts her luggage down and they totally made out in front of me. I bowed my head down, I found it awkward because earlier she was just having sex with Mark and now she and this guy is an item? I will never get her trip when it comes to boys. I just hope that they will stop making out in front of me.

They walked towards my direction hand in hand.

“Hey, ready?” she asked me seriously.

I nod, she held my hands as Keith started to load the trunk of his car.

“We will be fine okay?” she assured me

“Yeah, I know . . . Thanks a lot” I said as I slightly squeezed her hand.

She hugged me for the very first time since we started this quest.

“This is the start of your new life . . . and of course mine too” she smiled as she rolled her eyes.

I grinned, from this day forward it will just be me and her . . . no one else.

“Alright, if you girls are done with your dramatic scene, I suggest we leave this place ASAP” Keith then said.

I took a deep breath, this is it. . . I looked around for the first time in 18 years I am leaving this place. The place that I once called home, the place where my mom and dad first met, the place where they grew up, met each other, got married and started a family. This place witness how happy I was and