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me breakfast.

She tells me stories probably to help me take my mind off things and I’m grateful for that. But I can’t really take my mind off things now can I? She tells me about her family. She’s a great story teller. I don’t say much and it doesn’t look like she expects me to say anything. I enjoy her stories. Before we know it, it’s supper time and Zweli walks in. He doesn’t say anything he just eats and type on his phone the whole time. I feel like getting up, but I can’t. MaShezi, the old maid, has been very sweet. The least I can do is sit down and finish the food. After eating, I help her wash the dishes. She didn’t want to but I insisted, I had to buy time, maybe Zweli will be sleeping when I get to the bedroom.

                        *****

“Zekhethelo, you have a visitor” maShezi announces when she walks in.

Flip I forgot that I’m meeting Zwelibanzi’s mom. We met on my wedding day but it was brief. She promised to take me out so we can get to know each other. I quickly make the bed and I wear a long white dress and black sandals. I walk downstairs and I find her sitting on the couch at the parlour. She must be in her 50’s but she looks 20. She’s dressed to the nines. She’s wearing a gold knee length dress with black heels. Even her greying hair looks good on her. I don’t smile much since I got here but her smile is contagious as soon as she smiles at me, I smile back.

“You look beautiful” she tells me smiling. She looks super beautiful. She walks over to hug me. I’m getting emotional. My mom has never hugged me and I feel dirty not beautiful. She tells me we can leave. I look forward to going out.

“Such a beautiful car” I tell her when I see her red Range Rover. My God, I can’t believe I’m going to ride in this car. It’s one of my many dream cars. She thanks me with a sweet smile. She seems sweet. I just hope she enjoys my company and visa verse. Thirty minutes later, we’re at a mall.

“I never really bought you a wedding present. So I was hoping we’d do that together so that I buy something you like”

This woman must be very wealthy, she paid for almost everything for my wedding and now this? I start to shake my head but she insists. I don’t want to take advantage. We keep going in and out of stores. When I eye something, it’s on her basket. I always wished I had a life like that. I’m not really poor but I had bills and fees to pay. Getting a bursary is not as easy as people say. And the workshop is not always busy. Sometimes, I’d be at home for almost a month, no client. But then again life has never been easy, especially for me. Now that we are done buying, we head to the food court.

“Where would like to eat?” she asks me.

“Spur” I reply shyly. I hope she’ll let me settle the bill.

We head to Spur and this other guy keeps checking her out, it’s so embarrassing. She’s not even giving him any attention, she must be used to this. I enjoy my steak and chips and she goes for a burger instead. We are quiet the whole time. I don’t speak when I’m eating. When it’s time for dessert I’m super full. I wasn’t even hungry but I didn’t want to come across as rude so I ate. After a long and beautiful day, I need to go back to Zweli’s place. So not looking forward to that, but I have no choice otherwise my dad is next with me watching. Even during the rape he kept telling me that.

Zweli’s mom drops me off and leaves, I wish I could go with her but I drag my feet and I’m greeted by Zweli. He doesn’t say anything, so I also ignore him.

We’re sitting at the kitchen and talking about maShezi’s family when 2 guys walk in. They look so much like Zweli. MaShezi walks to them with a very big smile on her face. They greet each other.

“This is Zekhethelo” she introduces me.

“I’m Mpumelelo, Zweli’s big brother and this is Sizwe, our little brother. So nice to finally meet you” he smiles and pulls me into a hug. He sounds sweet. Sizwe also comes forward to hug. It’s supper time and Zweli is nowhere to be found, so his brothers talk me into having supper with them. I join them, they seem nice. They smile all the time, I wish I could say the same about their brother. Throughout the conversation, I find that Sizwe and I have a lot in common.

We love books, both reading and writing. He’s a Journalism graduate. Zweli is a business and marketing graduate then Mpumelelo is a dentist. Their mom must be very proud.

“Have you started applying for a job?” Sizwe asks me.

“Not yet, I just needed to take a break. Studying and working can be hard. Sometimes I had to work till very late”

“Oh you’re a workaholic just like your husband. He works ungodly hours that one. He won’t rest even when mom insists” Mpumelelo tells me smiling. I smile back, they must think their brother and I love each other. We continue talking until 10PM, I decide to go to bed. I’m waken up by someone ripping my clothes. I scream.

“Scream all you want but this room is sound proof” he tells me taking his clothes off. I close my eyes because I know what he’s about to do. I just hope I get through all of this. And when he’s done, he walks to the bathroom, leaving me crying, even when I promised myself that I wouldn’t. When he’s done he walks back.

“Go clean yourself up” he commands. I get off and walk to the bathroom, I lock myself and I scrub myself not without crying. I must’ve been here longer. When he tells me to get to bed, I quickly dry myself, clean the tub and walk over. I toss and turn I can’t sleep and he’s snoring.

I keep thinking about my dad so that I can stop myself from running away. I don’t fall asleep until after he leaves at 5am. I wake up when someone shakes me. It’s maShezi.

“You have a delivery.” Me? A delivery from who? I ask her to sign for it, I’ll be downstairs soon. She looks at me funny, opens her mouth to say something but decides against it. She says okay and walks out. I bath and make the bed. Thirty minutes later, I open the box. I smile when I see my basic tools.

“Thought you might need these. I’m sorry I couldn’t attend the wedding, as you know my wife is sick.” Moses.

Moses is the original owner of the workshop, I smile. I send him a thank you text before I forget to. This is so thoughtful of him. At least I can fix cars to keep my mind off things. I don’t know where to put my tools. I decide to put them next to the items Zweli’s mom bought me. I still need to unpack.

I walk to the kitchen, Zweli and his brothers are here. They are busy tickling Sizwe and they are laughing so hard. Zweli seems happy and carefree if I were to tell people that he killed my boyfriend and raped me twice, they’d think I’m lying. I’m hungry, so I was hoping I’d make breakfast without bothering maShezi or any of the maids. I rummage through the cupboards, with as little noise as possible. I just make myself 8 slices of bread with butter and cheese. When I’m done, I wash the plate.

“Dear child, you should’ve told me you’re hungry” an old woman I haven’t seen before walks towards me.

“No it’s okay. I don’t mind”.

“Can I use your phone? I need to call the mechanic my tyre is flat. I swear someone is trying to stop me from spending my time off with my family” maShezi walks in smiling at Zweli who’s also grinning like an idoit.

“I’ll help” I tell her. She looks shocked and shakes her head no.

“This is the mechanic, I was telling you about” Zweli tells them smiling. This is the first time I’ve seen him smile. Is it pride that I hear ? Or maybe not.

“You lie” says Sizwe smiling. I don’t hear Zwelis’ answer because I’m heading to maShezi’s car. Ten minutes later I’m done. Zweli and his brothers are smiling from ear to ear with their eyes almost popping out of their socket.

They seem pretty close, but come to think of it. I didn’t see them at the wedding. Maybe they aren’t so close. We say our goodbyes to maShezi and we go back to the house. Zweli heads upstairs leaving me with his brothers again. They are still in shock.

“Shake it off guys” I tell them smiling. They are sweet, I just hope I get along with them. We just sit and chitchat almost the whole day until their stomachs rumble. I miss cooking. I decide to go cook. I cook simple food. Rice with chicken stew. Almost 2 hours later, I’m done. I ask everyone to dish up for themselves. Sizwe calls Zweli to tell him to come down food is ready. When he gets here we all start to dig in.

“I was told that you still haven’t changed the cheque” Zweli tells me.

“Shit the cheque”

Shit the cheque. Why do I keep forgetting?

“Yes the cheque” he replies in a bored tone.

I tell him I always forget to. After eating I wash the dishes before I head to bed.

*

“Have you started applying” Sizwe asks when he walks in the kitchen.

“Yes, I’m busy with that” I reply. He wishes me luck and he makes breakfast for everyone including me. I smile at him and I eat. I feel very tired. I excuse myself and I head to bed.

                        *

For the first time since I got here. I had a good night sleep. That’s probably because Zweli didn’t come to bed last night. I shower, make the bed and head downstairs. I find the guys in the kitchen, Mpumelelo is making breakfast. They are talking and laughing like yesterday. There’s so much food and I notice the guys hardly eat. Zweli and Mpumelelo eat 3 slices and Sizwe 2 while I eat half the loaf.

“The food was delicious” I tell Mpumelelo.

“But you’re a great cook” he replies with a smile. I can’t help but smile back. My phone pings, it’s an email. I applied for more than 5 editing internships around Durban. I didn’t get the any of the jobs. It’s sad but I have hope. I mean my results should speak for me. Zweli leaves right after breakfast. He doesn’t say a word to me. But then again we were never in love so I just sit there and watch TV the whole day.

I must have been tired because I fell asleep while watching TV. And I have been sleeping for more than 5 hours because when I look at the time, it’s 5 in the afternoon. I need water so I walk to the kitchen. I find Zweli cooking and his brothers are arguing over something. I walk over to the tap, after drinking water I walk back to the couch. Soon supper is ready. We are eating, rice, fried fish and gravy. WOW, even my dad is not this good. When I tell him the food is delicious he just nods. I just continue eating. Maybe I annoy him. After eating I head to bed but I’m afraid tonight is not my lucky night. Zweli walks in, walks over to me rips my underwear and rapes me. Like always he walks to the bathroom, takes a shower, he

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