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just blink away the tears. She tells me I can cry all I want she doesn’t care. She tells me I’ll pay for humiliating her. Her voice has so much venom I shake.

“Is this the woman Zweli left you for?” a guy around Mpumelelo’s age asks, when he enters the room. “Such a plain looking girl” he continues when the lady gives her a dirty look.

“What do you want me to do with her?” he asks walking with a glass of water towards me. I want to apologise to the girl and tell her that I didn’t want to marry Zweli but he killed my boyfriend and threatened to kill my dad if I didn’t. But instead I keep quiet. The look on her face tells me that no amount of begging or money can change her mind. I know I’m not going to come out of this place alive. I keep quiet while they are discussing ways to kill me. If they want to frighten me, well they are doing a very good job. I didn’t ask Zweli to leave her for me. I read this other facebook about a year ago some girl saying something like when a guy leaves you for an ugly girl it’s insulting. So I know I don’t hold a candle to this one why is she mad?

“I feel like shooting her right now” she screams.

“No, don’t you dare” says a guy walking into the room. I smile thinking at least someone has some conscious but he continues. His comment wipe the small smile on my face.

“I just got this carpet installed last month. I don’t want any stains on it” that’s when I notice no one is wearing shoes. Is he a clean freak or something? He tells them that if they want to kill me they’ll have to do it somewhere else. The carpet guy introduces himself as Sthembiso, he introduces the other as Thami then the lady as Amandla.

“I was one of Zweli’s competitor. My empire crumbled when he stole my clients. He knows in this kind of business getting married is a very bad move. But he went on to marry you. I didn’t believe it when they told me he was married. He’s the first guy to hide his wife. But judging by your face, I’d hide you too” they all laugh and he continues. “He thought keeping you a secret will help him but we found out anyway” he doesn’t tell me how and what kind of business he runs. He looks like a thug. I don’t want to get in trouble so I just keep quiet. Marrying Zweli alone has put me into trouble. I always avoided any kind of trouble. I never stand up for myself. I just keep quiet like I’m going to keep quiet now.

“Keeping quiet won’t get you out of trouble” Amandla sneers. The Sthembiso guy hates Zweli and he has a reason. But I’m confused by Amandla, I’ve never seen her but she hates me so much.

“I don’t even know you yet you hate me so much. Whatever I took away from you?” I comment in a bored tone. Because I’m bored by her behaviour. She’s acting all bitchy yet I don’t even know her.

“Don’t…” she slaps me so hard I almost fall off the chair.

“Amandla stop making a fool of yourself. Zweli was using you. We warned you, you never listened” Thami tells her dragging her out of the room.

            ***

These people have kept me for over 2 weeks and they haven’t done anything but drug me. I haven’t seen Amandla since that day. Thami is the one who keeps coming.

“Today we want you conscious. We want to send that husband something that will hurt him. He must be looking all over for you. Or not”

They walk into the room with big cameras, a bed and some plastics. I wonder what the occasion is. They unchain me and they tell me to take a bath. I comply. I really needed a bath. After 30 minutes I walk out. They tell me to take my clothes off. I don’t. Everything is set like they are going to shoot a video and it looks like I’ll be the star.

Thami walks towards me and he rips the clothes off me. I hope they are not going to rape me and record the whole thing and then boom my face is all over porn sites. It’ll break my dad’s heart more than mine. I don’t know what to do. After making sure I was naked he tosses me on the bed and then Sthembiso starts to take off his clothes starting by the belt and when he’s fully naked he gets into this massive king size bed so slow like a lion approaching its prey. He pins me down, I try to push him away but he slaps me so hard I almost faint and then he rapes me. And when he’s done he smiles at me.

I don’t cry not while they are in the room. As soon they shut the door. I cry. This is really too much. I knew marrying Zweli will put in trouble. But I had to do it for my dad. I know he’d also do anything to make sure I stay alive and that I’m happy. If I could be half the parent that he is, it’d be really great. I know they are worried sick about me. I quickly wipe the tears using the back of my hand when someone walks in. It’s Amandla, she’s laughing.

“You knew marrying him will come with all sorts of stress and trouble. But you did anyway.”

“I really didn’t want to marry him. But he killed my boyfriend and sent me the pictures. Then he threaten to kill my dad” I don’t why I’m telling her this. She looks stunned like she doesn’t believe me.

“So you don’t love each other?” she asks. This lady is dumb. I don’t know why Zweli married me but it has nothing to do with love. Whatever he saw me only God knows. Like Thami said I’m plain. And I’m not rich, why me of all the girls in the world.

She leaves and I decide to sleep on the carpet they didn’t even leave that bed. I’m so exhausted both physically and emotionally.

                        *

According to Sthembiso I’ve been here for a little over a month. And they drug me the whole time. They have bigger plans for me. Apparently they want to hit Zweli where it hurts. They should’ve taken his mom or brothers not me. Zweli must’ve married me for this.

 

I wonder if Melo went to Durban. Maybe he thought I’m ignoring him after what went down that day. They haven’t fed me in 3 days and I feel so weak. Even though I hated Zweli’s place at least he fed me. I close my eyes and picture my dad’s wedding just to escape my current situation. I don’t know why they haven’t drugged me for the past 3 days but I hope they do today. It helps me escape reality. Being unconscious really helps. But I don’t have to wait for long. Sthembiso walks in, he tells me that the big day has finally arrived. Zweli won’t know what hit him. And then he drugs me. I black out thinking and hoping that if I ever make it out of here. It won’t be too late. Judging by the amount of syringes they’ve injected me with, I’ll be super lucky if I don’t become addicted.

I don’t know how long I’ve blacked out. I slowly open my eyes, I’m in a Hospital and all sorts of machines are attached to my body. I don’t remember what happened but for some reason I feel safe. I try to move but I can’t. I fall asleep again and when I open my eyes. I see Zweli staring down at me and tears begin to fall. I’m too stunned to say anything. We just look at each other and then he hugs me so hard I almost think I will suffocate and die. Finally he lets go and he takes both my hands into his and he asks in a soft voice if I’m okay. I know I hate him, but I’ve never been happy to see him. He tells me it’s going to be okay but I doubt. After everything I went through in that house, I really doubt. But I just nod. He fills me in and he tells me that he didn’t tell my dad he found me. He wanted to wait until he was sure it’s me. I can only nod.             

                        **

My Doctor tells me that I’ll be discharged in a week. My family couldn’t come this time. My granddad is very sick and they’ve been helping my grandma and my dad. Apparently our car crashed killing Amandla, Thami, Sthe and the driver. I survived because I was in the boot. I was heavily drugged. I wonder where they were taking me to. But Zweli’s family and Melo are all here. I’m so happy to see all of them.

“I have some very good news for you. I got you a job” Sizwe tells me smiling. I can’t help but smile back. Soon it’s time for them to leave it’s so sad but at least I’m being released in a week. Zweli kisses my forehead before he leaves.

Zweli comes alone in the next 2 days. His mom and brothers decided to go visit my granddad. They are so sweet. I wonder why Zweli isn’t like them. He takes me to his house. He cooks my favourite food chicken and rice. It’s so delicious, it almost makes me forgive him for everything. But then again, I remember that if Zweli waited at the depot like he promised I wouldn’t be in this mess. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I lose my appetite. Zweli is busy typing on his laptop he doesn’t even see that I stopped eating. I want to go home.

“What’s wrong?” instead of answering, I stand up and move away from him as far as I can. I can’t stop the stupid tears. He doesn’t move he stares me like I just popped another head. He probably has never seen a woman cry. He stands there looking at me. And then he takes his phone and he taps a few times.

“Mama it’s Zekhethelo, she’s crying I don’t know what to do. Usually when a woman cries I take her shopping. But now I have a feeling that it’s not going to work” he says that last statement as a question. I don’t know what his mom is saying but he looks so uncomfortable and he asks if she can’t just come over. After he hangs up he walks towards me looking like he’s about to cry too. He hugs me and that makes me wail. He takes a step back and then he looks at me like he’s not sure whether to hug me or what.

He wipes my tears using his thumb and then he hugs telling me it’s going to be alright.

“I’ll keep you safe” he tells me in a calm and caring voice. I feel bad for even thinking he had a hand in that.

                  ***

Even though Zweli promised to keep me safe. I don’t feel safe. I don’t even want to be left alone in the room. We didn’t sleep at all. I keep following him around the house. Even when he has to use the bathroom for number 2. He didn’t feel comfortable at first but he got used to it. When it’s my turn to use the bathroom he stands outside the door and he keeps talking so that I know he’s there.

“If you don’t hurry we’ll be very late” he tells me walking into the room.

I don’t answer him. We are visiting my granddad today. My dad called Zweli to tell him that he got worse and the Doctor said

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