I'm Yours Only, Sophie J Brain [i am malala young readers edition txt] 📗

old and spent her time sat under a tree reading a book and trying to avoid the other children throwing mud around. She would be joined every so often by a friend and they would proceed to talk in the way young children do and have pretend tea parties. Yes she had always been quite adorable and cute but she had never been the kind of person he could fall completely in love with.

“Maisy, what brings you here?” he asked

She shrugged “Wanted to come see you, I hope that girl's ok she looked quite upset”

“Just had a bit upset about something that happened a while back” he answered,

Maisy nodded and walked towards him “She told me about how you helped her; well done you I'm so proud”

“It was nothing really” he answered quite honestly in his opinion.

“Nonsense I'm sure you did a lot for her”

Chris nodded and walked over to the window, Maisy wasn't so bad really and he might not ever be completely in love with her but maybe he could fall for her just a little bit. Of course it wouldn't be with the same intensity that he felt for Nicky but there was nothing he could do about that. Maisy was here and willing, Nicky was not, Nicky was off somewhere hurt and angry because she thought he didn't know her well enough to fully trust her intelligence and understanding. In any case she wasn't likely to forgive him soon and once she had left school and he never saw her again she would become more of a dream from the past. Maisy was here right now and she truly cared and loved him and he did care for her too, if there was truly no chance of any kind of future with Nicky would it be so bad to see if he could form some sort of love for Maisy that went further than friendship? He knew it wouldn't be the same but there was no reason he couldn't love someone romantically enough to form a decent future with them and if he didn't fall in love with Maisy then he would end things but she deserved for him to give her and the relationship a proper chance first.

Chris knew in his heart and soul that he would never love someone as much as he loved Nicky, wouldn't have the same emotion or passion with anyone else, but there was every chance he could have happiness with someone else.

“I was wondering if I could stay with you.” Maisy asked.

“Of course” Chris replied turning around “stay as long as you like”

He walked over and kissed her quickly trying to ignore the fact that the rush of heat and emotion, that had become so familiar to him the last few weeks with the slightest touch, didn't come tingling across his skin

 

 

Chapter Five.

The next two months began to become unbearable for Nicky. Not only was her heart well and truly breaking but she was forced to spend five days of the week in the work place of the man responsible and she was always bumping into him everywhere.

Chris had decided to stay with Maisy, every week Nicky saw them bashing lips on Friday when she came to meet him and to really add insult to injury two weeks after what had happened Nicky’s teacher Mr Danby had suffered a minor heart attack so had to take the rest of the school year off and now Chris had taken over teaching his class. She then had to spend two hours a week sitting and staring at the man who had crushed her soul. At least she had managed to move to the back of the classroom.

The end of the school year didn’t come quickly enough, in fact for Nicky it seemed like it went on for years, but eventually it came to her last week of school. To completely end the school year there was the leaver’s ball to be held at the end of the week Nicky was going of course and so was Chris, he was taking his girlfriend. They were going to be happy and laughing and by the end of the night Nicky was sure that she was going to be close to being dead inside.

It had already started happening to her, she had grown spiteful in her pain and she had been making horrible comments as she saw Chris. A few weeks ago she had been going past him and Maisy kissing outside the school gates and muttered “Careful sir you’ve got something horrible on your face” she had felt terrible as soon as the words had left her mouth and thanked God that it didn’t seem like either of them had heard her.

Eloise and Greg had noticed her change in attitude as well, two days before the ball they had all met up at Greg’s house to share a bottle of wine and celebrate the end of school together. After about fifteen minutes Eloise turned to her and said “What is wrong with you these days Nicky?”

Nicky took a sip of wine “What do you mean?”

“You have been walking around like a wet weekend for weeks now” Eloise said “What happened?”

Nicky hesitated before answering “Just nervous about the end of school”

“If you say so” Eloise murmured “but I personally think a man is involved”

A car door slamming from outside made Nicky flinch, Kevin wouldn't be coming back that evening she knew that, Greg had told her when he had asked her round. She wouldn't have agreed to come otherwise, the memories of that day were still too strong and every so often she would close her eyes and see the evil smile on his face. It also didn't help that that day had basically been the start of her relationship with Chris.

“God, Nicky, are you crying?” Greg was looking at her intently.

Eloise too had noticed the tears and within fifteen seconds Nicky had been pulled out of her chair, into the next room and then pushed down onto a different chair. Nicky stared up at her best friend and was almost pained by the serious and worried expression on her face. Nicky had never kept a secret from her in their friendship until about four months ago when she had been almost raped and then started her relationship with Chris. HA relationship that was almost like a cruel joke now, the most she had had was an affair, still she had felt overwhelming guilt for keeping everything from her friends but what choice did she have? Telling the truth about Kevin would have caused a big scandal and she didn't want to put the people she cared about through that and telling the truth about Chris would have caused an even bigger scandal and he would have lost his job. He might have broken her heart but he wasn't a bad person and he certainly didn't deserve to be disqualified from teaching because she was stupid enough to fall in love with him.

“Nicky I want the truth from you now” Eloise sat beside her “someone broke your heart didn't they?”

Nicky nodded, she needed to tell Eloise something even if it wasn't the whole story “I started seeing this guy, you don't know him. He was visiting someone here. Well we started seeing each other and I fell madly in love with him and then his girlfriend turned up”

Eloise's eyes flashed with anger “That bastard, who, is he?”

Shaking her head Nicky stood up “he's really not too bad, just I realised we weren't really suited but it’s really hit me hard”

Eloise gave her a hug “Don't worry babe you're be heading off to university soon and then you'll find someone better”

Nicky nodded and followed Eloise back into the kitchen. It was true that there was every chance that at university she could meet someone more suitable but Chris had seemed so perfect. Resisting the urge to shake her head Nicky finished her wine, how could the man have been perfect if he had a girlfriend? She still believed him to be a good person so what would he be doing dallying around with her when he was in love with someone else?

Maybe he thought he didn't love Maisy, which is why he started something with Nicky, but then when she popped up again he realised how much feeling he had for her. Whatever the case it didn't matter and it did nothing to ease her heartache.

A few hours later Nicky waved goodbye to her two friends and started the ten minute walk to her house. It had just gone nine o'clock but thankfully due to it being mid-year it was only just getting dark. She started singing lightly to herself to keep her mind occupied, all too often she found herself thinking about Chris and it only led to pain. Life was suddenly getting harder for her and she hated it, university was getting closer and for the first time in months she didn’t feel scared. This was the start of her life, her new adult life where there were no student teachers around who could make her fall in love with them and then cruelly smash her heart to pieces with a giant mallet.

“Nicky!”

Her heart lurched sharply; surely fate could not be so cruel? She unsuccessfully tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Kevin Bryant, obviously on his way home a day early, was stood right in front of her, damn she hadn't been paying attention and now it was too late to avoid him. She glanced to the left and saw a garden restaurant across the road with several people outside to enjoy the warm weather. She was quite safe but even so she couldn't quite stop the uneasy feeling in her stomach that the fear caused.

“Hi Kevin” she mumbled.

“You seem quite covered up for this kind of weather”

She winced as a fresh wave of upset over took her, she had been keeping herself covered up since her break up with Chris, her numerous skirts and low cut tops held too many memories. “I don't see how that is your concern” she said coldly

Kevin slowly ran a finger down her cheek. Nicky flinched and moved away causing him to smile. “It's not, well until we end up in bed together anyway”

Nicky took a step back “Why would we end up in bed together?”

“Because you want me”

Nicky laughed “Oh yeah, that was so obvious last time you made your advances”

He leaned forward slightly “If you truly didn't want me you would have told someone what happened”

The fear and upset in her heart turned to anger “The reason I haven't told anyone about you is because I don't want to my parents to feel guilty for letting me come into contact with a sick bastard like you and I don't want my best friend to learn that his role model is a sick messed up rapist. I didn't tell anyone to protect them; there is no way I will ever go to bed with you now if you'll excuse me I need to get home.”

While Kevin stood dumbstruck Nicky walked around him and quickly power walked to her house. Once inside she saw a note on the kitchen counter.

 

Nicky,

We have gone to the pub be back later, feel free to join us.

Love Mum xx

 

Nicky scrunched up the note in her hand and threw it away as she walked up to her bedroom, she felt more alone than she ever had before. For a split second she contemplated going out just to find someone to be with but she quickly shook her head to get rid of the idea and, feeling utterly disgusted with herself, she went to bed

Nicky didn't intend of the tears to come but once they were there she found she couldn't stop them,

 

As soon as he pulled into the car park he saw her, she was sat alone in the computer room working