I'm Yours Only, Sophie J Brain [i am malala young readers edition txt] 📗

just really needed a friend but both Greg and Eloise had gone off, Greg was still travelling the world like he had been doing since school and Eloise had stayed in the town of her university. They all still kept in contact but no one was there when Nicky just wanted a hug and she had needed them at increasing rates recently.

Chris finally coughed and said “maybe I should be going”

Nicky nodded “yeah maybe, I need to finish cooking and stuff”

“See you again maybe?”

“Yeah sure” Nicky answered “you still at the same address?”

“Yeah” Chris nodded “didn't see the point in moving”

“Well maybe I'll pop round sometime”

Chris nodded again and left the house. That hadn't gone as well as he had expected, the Nicky Bennett he had fallen in love with had been squashed down into this almost robot like creature and he didn't like it. There was still that spark in her and it seemed to pop out when she was angry but the rest of the time she just seemed like a shell, what could he do to make her see she was making the wrong choice? How could he get through to her? So many questions were pounding in his brain but the one that kept coming around was what had happened to her? What could have made her choose this life? Something terrible must have happened for her to decide to live a boring life that was nothing like herself; nothing like the type of life she would have ever considered living. The worst part was she didn't see anything wrong with it, somewhere along the line she had convinced herself that this was what she wanted for some reason. If he found out how and why she had done that then he could work out a way to convince her not to get married but unfortunately for him he had a deadline of two weeks so he would need to act fast. It wasn't just about winning her back any more it was about protecting her from making the same mistake he almost did. At least he had realised he couldn't marry Maisy before anything had got too serious, Nicky was still in the delusion that she was happy when he could see quite easily it was the security she wanted and not her fiancé, he knew her too well to be fooled into believing she could actually like this lifestyle and he loved her too much to let her get married to someone who would in the end crush her spirit, intentional or not, to the point that she just became a total shell of herself. That passion was still in there somewhere and it gave Chris hope, he would stop her from getting married first and then he would win her back.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Seven

Why was it that he always left her in the lurch? Just before Nicky had gone to get washed and ready, Boris had called and told her that he might be later than expected, it was now just before the dinner guests were due to arrive and he wasn't there.

It has happened numerous times before but it had never bothered her so much in the past, perhaps it was because her conversation with Chris was still fresh in her mind. How dare he say that she wasn't happy? She was happy, well most of the time. She wasn't unhappy anyway.

However at that very moment, immediately after hear the first knock on the door, she felt like she had been ditched by the so called love of her life. Another knock followed so she put on a smile and went to open the door.

And immediately felt like she had been punched in the stomach. Matthew Garner the new executive stood in front of her and next to him was his wife, a young woman with shoulder length light blood hair who was more than just a familiar face to Nicky.

“Hello” Nicky beamed, hoping her smile wouldn't wobble “Matthew hi nice to meet you” she shook his outstretched hand and then turned to face his wife “Maisy isn't it?”

“How did you know?” she asked

“You used to date one of my teachers” Nicky answered “Christopher Williams, I helped you find him once”

Maisy smiled “Oh yes my tour guide. It’s nice to see you again”

“You too” Nicky shook her hand and led them into the lounge “I'm afraid Boris is running a little late so you'll have to put up with my company for the time being”

Nicky went out to get drinks and paused for a moment in the kitchen as all the old emotions from her last two months in school came flooding back to her. She had felt so lonely then and she couldn't help feeling lonely at that moment. With Boris being late and the memories of her conversation with Chris kept playing in her mind. She had regretted telling him about her 'sex days' the moment it had escaped her lips, it was obvious Chris was going to say something about it, after all they had never restricted that side of things themselves, but then their relationship had just been about passion really.

Of course there had been some proper emotion there too that's why it had hurt her so much when it had all blown up but from the very start it had always been about the passion that was there between them. She and Boris might not have the same passion but it didn't mean that their love was any less whole because of it and she really did love him with her heart if maybe not in the exact same way.

Suddenly the front door opened “Nicola I'm back”

Nicky poured another glass of wine and walked back to the lounge handing out the drinks, Boris leaned over and kissed her on the cheek “Hello darling”

She turned and looked at him, hoping to God that her heart would leap or the skin where he had kissed her would tingle or do something but it didn't, however her heart had leapt the night before when she had seen Chris and her skin just tingled at the thought of what they would get up to and all the different places he would kiss her.

“Nicola, are you ok?” Maisy asked “You're look rather red”

Nicky lightly fanned herself “Sorry must be a bit hot”

They sat making idle chatter until the timer went off to let them know the first course was ready at which point they went into the dining room while Nicky got into her role as the server. She was absolutely mortified that the thought of something that had happened four years ago could still make her blush; maybe Chris was right she did still have some passion in her. She’d just have to bring the passion out of Boris but first she'd have to get through that evening looking and conversing with someone who just reminded her of when she had felt at her lowest.

 

The next morning Nicky was feeling particularly low after the dinner. Not that anything particularly bad happened oh no it had all gone swimmingly well and everyone enjoyed themselves except for her of course who managed to feel like she had been stabbed in the heart every time she so much as glanced at Maisy. It was a terrible shame really because Maisy really was a nice person and under any other circumstances Nicky could see them getting on quite well but as it was the woman just made her feel completely lonely and upset.

So the following morning after Nicky had risen herself out of bed, giving a moment to look at the empty space beside her with a sigh, she went to find her intended husband. It didn't take too long to find him in the study, well in theory it wasn't a study just the spare room which he had turned into a study. Nicky knew that he didn't like to be disturbed when he was working but damn it he'd been gone for 2 months and it was thirteen days before her wedding surely he could spare her five minutes. She poked her head round the door “Am I disturbing?”

While he didn't exactly say “yes you are actually I am busy” he did make a big fuss about looking up from his work, he even managed a small sigh “Not at all Nicola what do you want?”

Nicky rolled her eyes “It's about last night”

“Oh yes” Boris smiled “It went very well, we'll have those round again sometime”

“Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about” Nicky hesitated slightly “I was wondering if we could not have them over”

“That's not really an option” Boris said “We have to”

“I'm not saying we won't have anyone from your work over” Nicky tried to explain “just those two. It's just that woman, Maisy, well it wasn't her fault but I started seeing someone and it turned out she was actually his girlfriend. I mean it was all sorted out and I never had any bad feeling towards who I was seeing and I've laid it to rest but last night every time I saw her it just brought back all this old feeling and I just felt so upset”

“I'm sorry to hear that” Boris stood up and for a moment Nicky thought he might actually hug her, she really wanted a hug, but instead he just patted her on the arm “I don't wish for you to be sad at all but unfortunately we have to have them round again”

Nicky's upset suddenly churned up inside her “Why? Why do we have to have them round for dinner if it upsets me so much? I don't understand. I've never complained about anything before when I probably had a right to. Like yesterday you calling and giving me a moment’s notice to cook a whole three course meal. All I'm asking for is this one thing, if you can give me a proper reason why we have to have them round then fine I will drop the subject”

Boris stared at her dumbstruck finally mumbling “Because it’s polite”

Nicky scoffed suddenly not wanting to be in his company any further “I don't even complain when you want to work every moment of the day rather than see me” she murmured before leaving the room, however she decided that wasn't good enough so she grabbed her jacket and quickly left the house, slamming the door for good measure.

Once Nicky had left the house she realised she had nowhere to go, Greg and Eloise were coming in for the wedding but that wasn't for another week yet and she couldn't go to her family. They had no idea that she had begun to feel resentful about her life heck until about twenty four hours ago she herself hadn't even realised it, and if her run in with Kevin all those years ago had taught her anything it was that she wasn't one for burdening her family with what happened in her life, not if they didn't need to know.

Pulling on her jacket she just decided to walk around, avoiding the alley way from the other night, she walked down road after road until she found herself passing her old school. She paused slightly and went round the back to where there was a small play area. Nicky walked in and sat down on a bench, it was just for a bit of peace and quiet, it was Sunday morning so there wasn't anyone out yet not that the play area was used very much anyway, she certainly hadn't meant to bump into anyone…

 

Chris had to get out of the house, everything smelled and reminded him of Nicky. It was so silly really she hadn't been in there for four years so how could anything smell like her for goodness sake. He'd also had something of a restless night every time he closed his eyes he had managed to see memories of his time