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special. We don't need powers to be heroes. Everybody's got a hero inside of them whether they like it or not."

 

4:32 AM

PHOENIX'S RESIDENCE

PANIC ROOM

 

Peter moved his finger across Natasha's arm, who was laying symmetrical to him. "That was fun, wasn't it?" he asked her. Natasha nodded. "It was my first time. Thanks." 

Peter winked at her and then stood up, pulling his pants back up as soon as Tyler walked into the panic room and caught both of them red handed. He gave away his position when he said, "WHOA-HOA-HOA!"

Natasha grabbed her shirt and covered the top half of her body as Tyler went down a few more steps. "What was happening in here?"

Tyler looked at Peter who had no shirt on. "OHHHH... I get it, I got it, I got it. You two, you know?"

"Tyler, fuck off man!"

"Alright. Jeez. Well you guys woke us up at night with all that moaning and groaning and, 'OOH YEAH, DON'T STOP!' and all that, 'YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD!' and junk like that." 

"We were that loud?"

"Yeah. That Nazi bastard in the garage was woke up too. By the way, why does he have a hole in his chest-"

"Tyler, get out, PLEASE!"

 

Chapter XVII: Cool Steel

 "Took us about 5 days to construct two pieces of technology to get Phoenix outta that tight spot. So much metal, enough to construct a giant robot or something. I mean Jesus, I've got enough cuts and scrapes on my hands already. Phoenix, I'm coming buddy." 

 

LOUISIANA AIRPORT

 

Peter and Natasha walked onto Flight A-4 with their tickets. They both climbed into their seats and sat down in front of an electronic television on the seats. "Hello, and welcome to High Tide Air. If you need assistance or want to entertain yourself for relaxation, tap the screen to continue." 

Natasha tapped the screen and several movie choices pulled up. "Whoa... What are all these?" she asked. Peter answered, "Movies. Let's choose one. Umm... How about Casablanca? Heard that was a good one. Or that um... 'Citizen Kane' one."

"There's one called Fantasia with that weird mouse."

"I guess.. I could use a break from drama anyways."

She tapped it and then two headphone sets lowered from the ceiling. Peter the pair in front of him on his head. He then listened to the edited film of Fantasia...

 

Steamboat Willy appeared on the screen and gave a "Heil Hitler/Fegelein" salute with a Nazi outfit on. Peter shook his head. "Unnghh.... Nazi bullshit-"

"Sir, is there a problem?" said a plane assistant, standing still besides him.

"WHA- I mean, no. No there's no problem here."

The film began. Mickey walked into his house and took off his Kommandant outfit. "Alright what the fuck. Really? REALLY? He's- AAAAAARGH!" Peter continued to watch the cartoon. Minnie came into the foiyer of the house and gave Mickey a swift smooch on the cheek before removing his Kommandant cap and hanging it on a hat rack. "Heil to the Reich, am I right there Minnie?" he questioned her. She saluted him and said, "Heil to the Reich, there Mickey. I made you bratwurst, the way you like it; Cut into pieces and slowly cooked to the red. Pink inside!"

"Mhmm! Wunderbar! Let's give it a little taste, shall we?" he said, strolling into the kitchen with enthusiasm. Mickey did a backflip and landed onto the chair at the stool at the table. The heat-stability machine opened and the bratwurst was slung out of its inner bowels and landed on a plate in a joyful circle. So did a fork.

Mickey, while dancing a jig in his seat, pierced all rounds of the bratwurst and thrusted them into his mouth. Minnie danced on into the kitchen and snatched up the plate to throw into the dishwasher. The moment she was about to throw it like a frisbee, she missed by a small degree and flung it into the laundry room where a boiler was placed. And it flew into the boiler and melted. “Oh… Oopsie!”

She turned around to see Mickey with his hands on his hips. Minnie’s arms and head drooped down at the checkered floor. Then Mickey had a change of heart, smiling and then started laughing.

Then all of a sudden, Donald Duck crashed through the window… With Phoenix’s digital mask on. “Wait wait wait, WHAT IS THAT?” he thought, staring at Donald. In the flap of his duck wings was a pistol. “MICKEH! GET YOUR HEAD OUTTA YOUR BEHIND AND GET FHA FHLAPPIN’ FHLAP ON FHA GROUND!”

“Masked Terror! I will not stand for this!” Mickey screamed. Donald was steaming angry, and flipped a clip into the air, and caught it with grace into the pistol receiver. “FHAN… DIE RAT!”

Mickey grabbed a nearby knife and disarmed Donald with a knife throw. Peter stopped the movie and disturbed Natasha. “Wha- Why’d you stop it?”

"Something on there I didn't like. The fact they're making satire out of Phoenix, I'm not gonna let that slide because that's a load of bullshit. Let's watch... Umm... Casablanca."

The film started playing as soon as he tapped the option. Then an entire graphic image of Hitler giving a salute pulled up. "GODDAMMIT, alright how about we watch NOTHING!" Peter complained, shutting it off. The stewardess walked by him and questioned, "Sorry, is there a problem, Sir?"

"NO! Oh, I mean, uh, nope. There's no problem... here.... I guess... Yeah there's nothing wrong," he responded, nervously. Peter watched her stroll away, and noticed a relaxation switch on his seat handle that had a headrest on it. "Ooh. Neat." Then two headrest-sized cushions appeared and clamped against his head. "If your headrest is uncomfortable, press the button again to retract the headrest. Thank you."

"I'm already uncomfortable the way I am. On a Nazi plane in a Nazi country ran by Nazi fuckwads who do Nazi things. The only one who should be comfortable is Hitler, 6 feet under."

Peter was tapped on the shoulder by Natasha. "Peter... You brought our weapons, right?" she whispered to him, concealing her voice. 

"Yeah?"
"Wait, then how did they not get detected by security?"
"I turned on the EMP device so it would shut the metal detector off."

"Oh! Alright, I understand."

 

Chapter XVIII: The Time for Action

 "We're in Montana. At the park where Phoenix's statue is. He didn't deserve a fate like this. I just hope he's still alive under there. Once we free him, the United States has something to fear again. Louisiana Justice is what I call that. You're time is now Phoenix. See you there."

Peter and Natasha brought their suitcases through the park and found the statue. Phoenix was... flipping them off. 

"Wait, this is your friend?"

"You bet."

"You mean *this* guy? The statue? The one flipping us off?"

"Yes. I know what it looks like, don't even ask."

Peter unzipped his suitcase and turned on the EMP device. He laid it on top of the slab, and then pulled the heating device out. "Alright, be on the lookout, cause this is gonna look pretty shady to other people," Peter informed her. Natasha started walking in circles around the statue, trying to surveil the area. The heater switched on and displayed a screen that read, "72 DEGREES, RADIATING."

The heat was applied against the molten nickel. Peter started tapping his foot in nervousness. "Come on, heat the hell up NOW." The heater went up a degree every second. The temperature was then 132 degrees. "Alright, we're over the hundreds, see anything?"

People walked past and seemingly ignored the two. A drop of molten nickel melted and dripped onto the concrete material of the slab. Peter repeatedly tapped the heat button. "COME ON! COME ON! COME ON!!!!"

The heat reached 296 degrees. The molten nickel started melting into the slab. Phoenix's jeans were revealed as well as one of his combat boots. "Oh my God... He's coming out, YES! Okay that sounded wrong." People walking by began to notice their deed. "Peter! You might want to hurry it up! People are getting suspicious of what we're doing and they don't like it!"

Peter controlled the burn temperature and maintained it at 550 degrees. Half of the metal had melted. He rotated to the other side and melted that half of the molten nickel. "Come on..." 

Natasha noticed someone calling the police on their mobile device. "PETER, WE HAVE TO GO! HURRY UP!" 

The half melted eventually, and Phoenix fell out of the mold. The middle fingers retracted and Phoenix landed on top of Peter. "GOD, PHOENIX, DID YOU GAIN LIKE A HUNDRED POUNDS?" Peter shook Phoenix until he awakened. "Phoenix, buddy, you gotta wake up! Come on! Phoenix, WAKE UP! WAKE THE HELL UP!"

Then Phoenix's mask displayed an angry expression. "Wait, what the hell?" Peter said, as Phoenix grabbed Peter by his neck and started standing up. "NAZI SCUM!"

 

"HEY HEY HEY! WAIT! I'M NOT A NAZI! PHOENIX, I'M YOUR FRIEND! REMEMBER? PETER SHKEPPALTIGER!

 

"TELL IT TO MY FIST!"

 

And then... Phoenix noticed the piece of flesh pinned to Peter's jacket. The crossed out swastika stuck out.

Phoenix released Peter, having him land on his feet. Peter coughed and hacked a few times. "Jesus CHRIST... Your grip hasn't changed a DAY!" he complained to Phoenix. 

"Where... where have I been?"

"The past year, you've been frozen as a statue. Put on display in the park. So you are a year late for dinner! Eh? Ehhh? You guys... Get it... Umm..." 

Phoenix shook his head along with Natasha. "It's been a year and your jokes still suck ass, Peter," Phoenix informed him. Peter grew angry.

"Fuck you, man. Come on."

Chapter XIX: The Hill to Fegelein

 "Alright, Fegelein. I got a lethal weapon with me. Ready to feel its wrath? I bet you are. He's gonna cave in your skull, rip out your colon and make a balloon animal out of it. Something along those lines. As long as it's violent, slow, and painful, there's nothing I'm gonna do to stop him while he's in action. And I hope

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