Ultraviolence, patrick heneghan [macos ebook reader .TXT] 📗

I was too.

We made our way to our bedrooms without speaking but for the first time I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~dream~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Flash

I was frozen in my bed as a figure stood over me, its hands brushing against my bed as it placed something on my bedside table. It saw me. It knew I could see it. Unexpectedly it ran out of the room and into the darkness of the hallway.

I woke up. I rubbed my eyes trying to get rid of the crust that settled into the corners of my eyes. Then I noticed something. Right next to my bed lay my phone, with a new background. I was asleep with my arm slightly covering my face. My half open eyelids facing the camera.

you've got the music in you, dont you?

 

28th June 2017

Rose

I woke up with a sharp head ache piecing my temple. I struggled rise as my body protested against every command. I sighed as I slowly made my way to the hangover tablets I kept in my bedside cabinet, I swallowed two of them dry, cringing as the sour taste violated my tongue.

I stumbled over to my wardrobe. I flicked through my colour coordinated clothes until I found a dark shape of red that would match the hot blood running through my veins and I slip on a pair of heels that would do the same. I smother my lips in the darkest shade of black to match my soul and colour my nails to do the same. I looked at myself in the mirror as I glided on a faux fur coat. I span around a few times, feeling the thrill of the air weave its way into my hair and the thrill of simplicity weave into my thoughts.

I walk out the door to find Amelia eating her cake with a fork, not just a slice but the entire birthday cake. I saw traces of tears in her eyes as she looked at me, her face panicking.

 

"Sorry!" She said spitting out crumbs on the floor and pushing the cake away from her,"I just-"

 

"It's okay." I sat next to her, resting my head on her shoulders.

 

"Did he do anything again?" I asked, worry present in her eyes.

 

She shook her head urgently so I believed her, she usually binged after days of not eating, I told her to stop for months and get some help but she always denied. I gave her a reassuring squeeze on the hand As I got up from the seat and began to walk through the door, my left hand turning the handle as my right waved goodbye.

I entered the club through the back door, there I was greeted by my manager.

 

"You better show more skin when you perform this time." He spat, his giant body loomed over me, pushing me against the door

"We've had some very unsatisfied customers."

 

"You better show more skin as well." My body leaning into his "I bet it's not only the customers that are unsatisfied with your performance." I said as I twirled his wedding ring of his finger, letting it hit the cold concrete floor as I made my way past him into my room.

 

Inside, I sat down placing powder on my face to make myself look more pale and porcelain like an antique doll. I look at my self for a few seconds practicing my song and dance before I go up on stage, I can feel the pull and push as if I was in both the north and south poles of the magnet, I couldn't wish for anything better than this.

I stand behind the stage waiting to be announced.my blood rushing and my mind racing.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen welcome...'Lolita'!"

 

I walk on stage swinging my hips seductively as the drums start in the background.

 

Being a mistress on the side,
It might not appeal to fools like you.

My hips moved side to side with the rhythm.

 

Creeping around on the side,
Would not be something you would do.

I smiled mischievously at the crowd, raising my arms out at them as a few of the men cheered and whistled.

 

But, you haven't seen my man
You haven't seen my man
You haven't seen my man
You haven't seen him.

 

I swung my body to the sound of the drums as I walked around the stage, maintaining eye contact with the audience as I did so.

He's got the fire and he walks with it.

My hands started at my hips, rising as they made their way up my body, rising to the heavens with a sharp flick as I sang.

He's got the fire and he talks with it.

My hands glided from my breasts to my thighs, not breaking contact with my skin the entire time

 

His Bonnie on the side, Bonnie on the side
Makes me a sad, sad girl
His money on the side, money on the side
Makes me a sad, sad girl.

 

I made eye contact as I crawled across the stage to a man in a sharp grey suit. I held his tie in my hands as the grip on his glass grew tighter, I reached forward to caress his face. I jumped up leaving him behind me and continued to sing.

 

I'm a sad girl
My fingers rapped around my top button as I undone it revealing my read dress

 

I'm a sad girl
The second button

 

I'm a sad girl
The third button undone revealing my waist

 

I'm a sad girl
Fourth

 

I'm a bad girl
And the final button.

 

I'm a bad girl
I through my faux fur in the air behind me and it landed out of view. I smiled as the men and women applause me.

 

I continued to dance, my body spinning and swaying like a flame on top of a candle wick. My voice and face baby like however, my body and movements were far from innocent. I took a paced towards the steps leading to the crowd.

 

I'm a sad girl
I took a step down, trying to regain my balance In my heels

 

I'm a sad girl
Second

 

I'm a sad girl
Third

 

I'm a sad girl
Fourth

 

I'm a bad girl
Fifth

 

I'm a bad girl
And the final step and the floor was underneath my stilettos. I smiled as I held the hands of a man and woman who helped me down the steps.

 

Watch what you say to me
Careful who you're talking to.
I looked around me at the faces staring at me as I sang while brushing against a few men on my way to the centre of the room.

 

Watch what you say to me
Careful who you're talking to.
My hands traveled around my body as I crouched lower to the ground.

 

I'm on fire, baby.

I'm on fire.
Slowly, I began to stand up straight. Hey hands seeping under my clothes. I carefully lifted up my dress revealing my hips with the bands of my underwear secured tightly around them.

 

The entire crowed whistled and cheered while I made my way up the stage again. I bowed as I was showed with roses and disappeared behind the closing curtain.

I stood outside the back of the dive bar with a cigarette in my hand, which I only smoke after performing. It's smoke danced around me in pirouettes, spinning in grace and harmony. I closed my eyes as I listened to music pump through the walls like it was the heart of this club.

 

"Do you have a light?"

 

My eyes shot open as I felt my feet give way under me in fright.

 

"Yeah," I hesitated, passing him my lighter. "My names rose, what's yours?" I asked

 

"Ezequiel" he answered, smiling whilst doing so.

 

"So what brings you here, Ezequiel?" I wondered

 

"I heard that this was the place to go if you wanted to see beautiful women and my, my I didn't expect to be looking at someone as gorgeous as you tonight."

 

I giggled, bringing my hand to touch his forearm as I did so. Feeling his warm leather jacket contrasting against my cold hands. I felt his hand make his way up my thigh, I panicked and began to struggle against him but he held me down. I froze as I felt my underwear slowly made its way around my knees. He lent to wards my face. I slammed my fore head into his face as hard as I could. He stumbled backwards. I kicked him in the shins as hard as I could and he began to fall to the gravel and dirt of the concrete. I kicked his stomach again and again until he was struggling to breathe, he reached out to me with week hands. Then I turned around and made my way home, not looking back the entire time.

 

I opened the door to find Amelia pasted out in a pile of crumbs. Her hair twisted and knotted and her hands dropped down by her sides. I took her to the bathroom where I washed her face, later carrying her to bed. She twisted and turned on the bed, exploding in sharp and sudden movements but I decided it would best to let her sleep, as I needed to let myself sleep and calm the chaos.

he's got the fire, and he walks with it

 

29th December 2017

 

Ezequiel darcc

 

I parked my jet black Ferrari into the concrete parking lot of the shopping centre in the middle of town. It's darkness sat in the world around me. I sat their for a second, waiting for the tracker of my phone to find her. The prolonged tiny green loading circle span around five times completely before I could see where she was. My one true love, Amelia Sparashe. Her eyes were blue like the deepest lake of sapphire, her hair was long and dark brown like the forever expanding branches of an oak tree. I slowly made my way out of my car, carrying a small, green bottle of beer as my eyes remained on the phone. I saw she was going along Elwood road on her usual route from her house to the 'olde star' each week, I saw the way she talked with Nina. And I didn't like it. She should hold my hand like she held hers and stare at me with the same contentment, wonder and emersion as she stared at Nina, like a puppy in the arms of it's owner.

 

I walked along the stone cold concrete in this cold winters night like a ghost absorbing its surroundings while not living it. I felt the wind dance through my hair and clothes like ice cold water engulfing me. I looked down at my phone, her small icon showed that Amelia as well as her phone had entered the bar.

I