The girl with nine toes, Ray Wilkins [black female authors .TXT] 📗

and said not quite as clearly as he
wanted to -
“Yes. My intuition tells me that there's something
about me that you don't like I want to know what that is„
“Okay sir, here I go. As long as I have known you,
you were never a person who said what he thought, I
guess that's why you’re a politician, you are always hiding
your feelings and trying to be bloody diplomatic all the
time. But since Mary… oh sorry I mean Mrs Macmillan
died , I have not seen you show any sadness whatever.
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Oh sure! at the Funeral, a controlled tear here or there
and a timely nose blow when somebody mentioned her
name. Everyday you get up - have a shower - eat
breakfast go to the Parliament building - work - then you
come home, shut yourself in the office together with Mr
Glenlivet and then you call that a bloody day. I can't
stand it any longer Mr Macmilan I have known you, Sarah
and Caroline now for over ten years .You have stopped
talking to me except for giving orders and asking
questions concerning the house. When was the last time
that you hugged one of your daughters and said that you
loved her? When was the last time you showed any kind
of feeling towards me or your daughters? Sometimes I
have a feeling that this country is being run by a robot,
not a man!„
Her voice was getting louder and her cheeks redder,
she was a thin small woman but at this moment John felt
that she was a giant. A feeling of sadness and joy at the
same time started creeping ever so slowly through his
body, a feeling that he hadn't felt in a very long time. The
tears came slowly at first rolling down his cheeks. He
knew that, what this simple, homely woman was saying
was perfectly true- he had been hiding behind his feelings
afraid to be weak and express his sadness.
“You are right Joan, thanks for saying that but now
please leave me alone for awhile , I need to chew on what
you just said, by the way this time without Mr Glenlivet.„
She turned towards the door without looking back - she
couldn't help smiling seeing her boss behaving like a
human being.
“Maybe there's hope for Australia yet.„ she
whispered to herself.
John sat down with his head hanging down and the
tears falling onto his pants. I feel so lost and cold, he thought to
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himself, almost as if there's a door inside me that I haven't opened
yet, or that I'm afraid of opening up. I always thought that I had to
protect myself from being hurt and the best way to do that was to
close up. Mary was always telling me to talk about my feelings - she
even sometimes got frustrated beating on my closed doors, and there
were times when I couldn't even hear her knocking. Sarah and
Caroline have even stopped talking to me – apart from such
sentences as “How's it goin' dad?„“Have some more mashed
potatoes!„ or “Dad can I use the car tonight?„
But they never talkd about what was going on inside of
them and I have a feeling that we are drifting apart from each other.
Today like some sort of miracle I meet this strange girl down by the
river who's telling me how to change my life and yeah – its really
funny - but I have this gut feeling that something really important
is happening to me, something I can’t grasp or describe. Im not even
sure if I really believe that she exists.
And yet when I came home everything looked different, stronger
more intensive and when I saw Joan I just could not close the door -
- almost as if a little black hand took hold of the doorknob and
pulled the door open. I simply have no choice or do I?
The tears slowly dried and John, standing up ,
opened the door of his office and went into the kitchen
where dinner was set . In the middle of the table was a
single red rose.


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An open heart can change the
World


Chapter 3
18

Thin rays of sunlight were struggling to get through
the blinds as John opened his eyes to a new day. I dreamt
about that girl with nine toes almost the whole night. he thought,
looking at the dressing table where the alarm clock said
six thirty. Wowww! I'm even awake before the alarm goes
off, this is going to be a good day - I can feel it in my
toes!
I was sitting alone at the breakfast table when
Sarah and Caroline walked into the dining room, sitting
carefully in their chairs they looked warily at me.
“Mornin' dad!„ they said in unison “Sleep good?„
“Yeah sure! Except for black hands on door
knobs and girls with nine toes I had a great night!„ They
looked at each other half smiling, thinking the same
thing.
“Yeah Joan talked to us last night before we went
to bed.„ said Caroline the oldest of the two.
“And what may I ask did nosey Joan talk to you
about last night?„ I asked.
Sarah piped up.
“She said that you've started to open up doors and
that.. that's great and if we notice your eyes looking a little
bit moist this morning we should keep our mouths shut.„
“Joan might be nosey but she is a very wise woman
and she's right except about keping your mouth's shut.„ I
paused for a second swallowing down my hesitation and
then continued. “As of now I want you two girls to talk
to me - no not just everyday stuff, everything! How
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school's going? about books your reading? about your
boyfriends?„
“Dad I'm only thirteen I haven't even got my
period yet!„ giggled Sarah.
“I just… I mean… I want us all to talk more with
each other than we have been doing lately. I want to get
closer to you both. I know my work takes up a lot of my
time and I'm often away in another country, but I want to
relate to you both – more - at deeper levels than just
mashed potatoes and car keys.„They both laughed
Caroline looked her father directly in the eyes and said.
“Does this mean that we can even talk with you
about mum?„ Her voice was a little bit shaky and I felt
the corners of my eyes becoming somewhat damp and
answered.
“I think it's about time that we talked about
everything especially your mother. I don't know exactly why
I'm saying all this but I'm going through some sort of
change in my life and the first thing I've learned is to trust
my intuition and to start to believe in myself and stand
behind that what I say. This also means talking to you
gals about subjects that I generally avoid, for example
your mother.„ Sarah and Caroline both stood up, came
over to me, hugging me tight Caroline said
“Welcome back to the land of feeling.”
Sarah said.
“Love you dad! shit! We have to go, or we'll miss
the bus!„ she shrieked. Then they quickly grabbed their
school bags and rushed out the back door.
I sat there alone listening to the birds singing in
the trees in the backyard. Looking out the bay window I
could see the lawn flowing down to the edge of the lake
at the end of the property, a lone swallow flew over the
trees and I thought, We are never alone, as long as I have a
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memory of someone that brings me feelings of joy and love, I have a
feeling of belonging, belonging to something greater than myself, I
want to call it hope! I wonder what the girl with nine toes would say
to that?
He picked up his briefcase as he heard the car horn in the
driveway.


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This world is very friendly..
Why aren’t we?


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Chapter 4


„Mr Prime Minister this just does not work !
you cannot punish unemployed people by cutting their
benefits just because they don't like working.„ These
words came from one of his main advisors for Social
Security, they were sitting in the main conference room
discussing the unemployment crisis.
“Mr Norton I will say this only once, this is why we
have an unemployment problem. As long as people are
fed there unemployment benefit checks every month and
at the same time are too lazy to take up a job, whatever it
is, as a garbage man or a cleaning lady then we are just
supporting their patterns of laziness.