The girl with nine toes, Ray Wilkins [black female authors .TXT] 📗

what his
intuition suggested, brought about a situation where he
felt angry, sad or frustrated. He had a feeling that he
seldom got what he really wanted anyway, being afraid of
hurting somebodie’s feelings, afraid that he might be
wrong or just plain too lazy to open up his mouth. Then
he saw an image in the darkness that looked something
like Mary’s face trying to tell him something - it sounded
like follow your heart. Well that’s almost sure to be
something that the girl with nine toes would have said, he
thought as he slowly drifted off to sleep.


33


Love yourself and the world will
love you


34

Chapter 8


He awoke to the sounds of soft voices and the smell
of a cooking fire. Opening his eyes he could see a low
roof made of what looked like bark and branches. He was
in some kind of hut and somebody was calling out his
name “Turawwa!Turawwa! The sun is waiting! come
outside and see the day!„ He crawled out of the hut to see
a group of Aborigines sitting around a fire drinking tea - a
large black billy can was hanging over the fire. He walked
up to the circle and sat down, the old woman tending the
fire gave him a mug of tea, it tasted sweet and strong but
it went down good. A man with feathers stuck all over his
body said.
“Turawwa you have now reached the second
stone crossing the river, this is the lesson of selftrust.
There is absolutely nobody in this world that you can
trust completely, except yourself. How can you look
inside the heads of others to see if they are telling the
truth or if they carry the spear of integrity? But you can
look inside your own mind and heart to understand the
songs that the ancestors are singing for you. In every
situation where you have to make a decision, even if the
consequences may be dangerous or may hurt somebody
else, even someone you love - you must follow your heart
This is the path of selftrust.„ My eyes started to water this
time because of the smoke of the fire and I answered. “I
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think I am ready to jump to the second stone but I am
afraid of failing myself as I have often done in the past.„ I
took another swallow of the sweet tea and looked across
the fire to the man with many feathers. He said. “Think
back to a time in the past when you were confronted with
a big problem, where you alone had to make a decision
without help or advice from anybody else. And the
decision that you made was perfect even though difficult
to carry out. How did you feel at this moment of
knowing this is right?„
I was thinking of a time when I had to make a
decision concerning sending troops to Timor. Everybody
was against it but I wanted to fight for peace. As I
imagined myself standing alone and knowing without any
shadow of doubt that the decision was right, I could see,
myself standing up straight with my shoulders relaxed and
a slight smile on my lips. There was a warm deep feeling
in my chest and when I put my hand onto this place the
feeling became stronger. “This is your moment of
selftrust, use this power song every time you have to
decide, if you do not experience it, then the decision is
not right.„ said Mister Feathers.
I opened my eyes to look around at the other
people but to my amazement I was sitting alone at the
fire and all I could see was a flat dusty stretch of earth
dotted with stumpy gnarled bushes and some dried up
patches of grass. I stood up and looked up at the sun it
was hot even though it must have been early in the
morning. I could hear voices coming from the nearby
scrub and two children ran out at me a boy and a girl, the
girl said “The girl with nine toes sent me to give you the
new challenge. To help you on your way I will do all that
I can to assist you, I am on your side!„ Her voice
sounded really soothing and kind, but for some reason
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she wouldn't look at me directly eye to eye. “My name is
Wootara and this is Yarawwa.„ said the other child, a boy
round about twelve.
“You have to decide which one of us two you can
trust to be your guide – and you have to decide fast!„ he
said, sounding very brusque and impatient and looking
straight into my eyes without a trace of a smile on his
face. I had known this situation very well in my past
when faced with having to decide which person was right
and which one was wrong. Most of the time I was
influenced to believe that the person who is polite and
nice towards me was the person to trust, sometimes it
even went so far that I was afraid of hurting feelings if I
said ‘no’ to someone. I looked at the girl and went inside
to feel what my heart said, she smiled at me and batted
her eyelids. I felt nothing. I looked at the boy he looked
directly at me I put my hand over my heart and it felt
warm and strong “It's you I want Wootara!„ and
Yarawwa disappeared. He turned towards the dessert and
mumbled something that sounded like follow me! And I
followed. It was getting hot and I started to sweat, the
sand squeeked beneath my bare feet and all I could hear
was the silence of the desert but after a while Wootara
stopped in his tracks “Listen Turawwa, leader of the heart
what do you hear?„ I closed my mouth and my eyes and
concentrated on listening. After awhile I could hear very
faint voices coming from a long distance.“These are the
voices of the ancestors connected to your inner voice, of
whom you can ask any question anytime, wherever you
are. Here lies all the information and all the answers you
will ever need to be happy and successfull - but the only
way to be able to hear the voices true is to listen with
your heart.„

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One smile can move a mountain


38

Chapter 9


I opened my eyes to the light coming through the
curtains. I could see tiny dust devils dancing in the
sunlight. I didn't move a muscle because I was afraid of
forgetting my dream. The images were still strong in my
memory as well as Wootara's voice, and what he had
said. I got out of bed opened the curtains and then the
window, breathing in the fresh morning air feeling deeply
aware of the outside world, something I had not felt since
I was a child running wild around the homestead where I
grew up. I walked out onto the grass my bare feet feeling
the morning dew on the grass. I could smell the freshly
cut grass and somewhere in the Gum trees I could hear a
Kookaburra laughing. I know that I have a lot to learn as
many times in the past I did not listen to my heart. Mary
was always telling me to trust my intuition, to speak
straight from the gut! Actually this was an argument in
our relationship that kept coming up when we had to
make some kind of decision concerning the family. And
at work I hardly ever made a lightning impulsive decision.
Some of my aides even gave me the nickname Macsnail. I
needed tons of information, answers to all the questions,
wait a minute! Isn't that what Wootara said last night in
the dream. The inner voice. Some kind of connection to
the ancestors. I came out of the clearing onto the edge of
the lake my pyjama cuffs started to get heavy and wet but
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I sat down on the grass anyway, something I would
normally never do unless I first laid out a blanket and
checked for ants. I looked out at the water. The mist was
slowly rising off the still water and I could smell that
mildewy scent of the lake. Looking out onto the water I
noticed the colours changing as the sun rose over the hills
on the other side of the lake. I could feel a strong
connection to the earth, reminding me of what a
beautifull place we live in - and I started humming that
old Loius Armstrong song It's a wonderfull world.
“Mr Macmillan, Mr Mac, breakfast is ready!„ I could
hear Joan shouting from the verandah, so leaving Mr
Armstrong to look after his part of the world I stood up,
stretched my body and walked towards the house to start
to look after my part of the world.


40


Hate is a feeling that stems from
fear


41
Chapter 10


I now invite all citizens of this country to take their own
future into their own hands. This government believes in self -
responsibility and the Power of Hope. As of this day all social
benefits for people unemployed will be reduced by forty per cent.
Every person regardless of gender or colour, or religion is now able
legally to work as an independant agent in their own business even if
they are presently employed. All otherwise unemployed persons will
now work at least six hours per day in a social/medical area. For
example in hospitals, homes for the aged, meals on wheels,
community care centers, environmental projects, feeding the disabled,
building roads in the outback, caring for the animals and the land
in which we live. If we all work together and give all that we have
then and only then do we have a chance to turn the course of this
country from a failing democracy based on dependance and social
instability toward a vision where we can be proud to be able to call
ourselves Australian. I couldn't help thinking about what
the girl with nine toes would say to this statement, as Mrs
Simmons my secretary asked me if that was the end of