MY HATCH POCKET JOURNAL, BILLY COY [mobi reader TXT] 📗

might have changed you or maybe I was and I’m wrong about you too; I just watched you from afar, and never really knew you; but all said, that about you is why I liked you so dearly that whenever I came across you, I shivered and my heart raced so fast; I at first thought it was nothing, but as time went on, and with the two times I came to see you at your dormitory, the second one being both good and bad for me, I think I was getting so crazy over you.

I had never believed that someone could spend sleepless nights thinking about someone else and never getting tired of it, but you got me to that point and I hated it so much because I wasn’t sure you could ever want me back that much; at the same time I felt good about it because at least there was somebody so nice out there that I cared for very much and never wanted to see cry or get hurt. If you’ve ever experienced it, I guess you know exactly what I mean.

Anyway, you were truly in my veins, I should admit. And there was a time when I was coming down the stairs, next to the college garden, you were standing there, my eyes and yours met by mistake, in an instant, and I should say, because I never expected it and I certain know you didn’t even notice or ever intend it either, but I swear to God, that day my knees shook and I almost lost grip of my feet. It was such a weird and


frightening experience to me, sincerely, but pretending to be a bold man, my inside denying it though, I walked on and thought it was all just an overreaction, but till this day I’ve never forgotten that day. I didn’t know why all that was happening to me, because it was all new to me, but if I really knew you back then, I would have swore you had just put a spell on me, because here I was, denying everything from my mind and pushing it all aside, and on top of it all, pretending to be so strong, yet deep down in my heart what I felt for you was so real, new, funny and frightening at the same time. I wanted it all to stop and go away, but as they say, you can never completely run away from the truth, you were still around and so was I. But now that it has been three long years and time has gone by with all that it brought, I guess it’s safe to say that it too passed and now the present is the real truth, and I accept and respect it faithfully and sincerely.

I should now come out and say that I was the one who sent you a poem (Destiny) and a well written sweet note accompanied, during that time when I was so confused and didn’t really know what I was feeling. But anyway, as I said in the note, I kept my word and came to your door, well, you opened it for me as I had requested in the note, but it was unfortunate for me that you never let me in. Anyway, it was an enlightening experience and I no longer have any nightmares about it or will I ever regret it.

Oh, before I forget, during that time when I always stared at your sweet babyish beautiful face, I noticed you were always sad, I don’t know what kept you that way all the time, but I always wished I could approach you and make you smile. And I should say, always watching you looking sad, though staying cute, deep in my heart I wanted to come close to you and ask you why, but given the circumstances, it was not my place and I


definitely had no right to. Let me hope that that which made you sad faded and died off and now there is always that million dollar smile on your face that you always hide to only yourself and those you trusted and knew; I was also so lucky that I got to notice your sweet warm smile the many times I stared at you attentively, and I should say, it too always made my heart race, just watching you smile, the few times I did at least.

By the way, because I watched you sad than happy back then, I even wrote you a small song I called: “Keysha in the rain.” Maybe one day you’ll hear it being sung. Until that day, whenever it will be, I want to say this: please remain a wonderful lady that you always were, for discipline and a good heart wins many right souls, God is watching, and he takes note.

I had also written a small poem especially for you but I got too wordy and decided to leave it out. Let me hope you will find it in your heart to understand and forgive me for my stupid arrogance back then.

I was told you got married, I wish you, you husband and family a happy and lovely endurance all through the many trials this cold world puts in our way. I am sorry to say this at this point, but I have to let it all out anyway: there was a time when I looked at you so much that I wished you had a baby for me. It’s funny and weird, but I’m telling it all exactly as it were back then.

When I saw your best friend Tina’s pregnant belly getting bigger by day, I knew your boy friend was warming up too, and it really hurt thinking about it all. It made me so jealous, but I had to slap myself at the back of my head and remind myself that I was just living a fantasy, and that you were not mine, and could never be. I got over it. It’s now all good; it has been three long years for crying out loud.


Anyway, I had to open up and let bygones be bygones. If you have persevered and read this far, thank you, I always knew you were kind.

Yours sincerely,

Frank Coy


CONFESSIONS

A woman’s silent pain


Life is so amazing and frustrating. Did you ever wonder why the good, most of the time suffer the most and die early in life? And why the bad always prosper and live happy? It’s really ridiculous but in many societies around the world it’s the damn truth.

But I believe, and always have, that everything in life happens for a reason, and that maybe God is just watching on because he knows they (the bad) can run but can never hide; judgment day awaits those who strived in iniquity and heaven (paradise everlasting), for those who gave up on the pleasures of the world for the sake of God’s glory. It all comes down to one thing, those who’re patient always get the best prize, and they definitely have the last laugh.

It’s not what you’re going through now that matters, because now shall pass too, but your mind and eyes should be focused to what you’re headed to: the winner takes it all. In this cold and blinding world, we tend to live by our desires, which in fact is all a lie if there are no Godly blessings in it. That’s why many


end up disappointed after their desires for worldly pleasures have reached them nowhere but to their agony, pain, unhappiness and being deserted or to the grave per se.

A woman’s silent pain: women most of the time suffer silently because they’re afraid or are threatened. It’s not right for anybody to live in fear or denial or lack, and so, it should be an initiative for each and every one of us to have each other’s back, for good or worse. And it’s true, one good turn deserves another; if you do well somebody, no matter how cruel they’re to you, if they don’t come to their senses and treat you right, one day you will be totally free because you never let your body get contaminated with a deadly virus as evil. So, no matter what, always do good to others; if they’re ungrateful, don’t stress, just shut your mouth and stay away, but don’t ever strike back. If you do, then you won’t be any different from them; what do they say about birds of the same feather? They flock together, and so do fools and the wise separately. So where do you fall? Are you going to act wise or be a fool and do what fools do?

The wise always see themselves through trouble because they are patient, faithful, vigilant, act by reason and never let their anger or desire take forefront.

Women are a beautiful living thing that God created and handed over to a man, but man has not been so good to this precious treasure, though still, reasons as to why, are many, but as men, we still have to protect these weak souls from harm, temptation, indiscretion, alternation and wrong doing. They’re our mothers, sisters, companions, helpers, soul-mates, loved ones and right hand people when we need success or prosperity


in life. So, we can’t do without them, as they too, can’t definitely do without us (men).

But I will step back a bit and blame women for the suffering and agony they go through at the hands of men who should be, in other words, protecting them. Women, most especially those in this so called “modern world” blindly think they can do anything they desire and pleasure because it seems to be a free world, but is the world really free, free from evil eyes watching your every move, ready to strike and make your life a living hell? I don’t think and believe so!

As men, we should remove the blindfolds off our sisters’ eyes and bring them back to the reality of humanity. The world has been advanced by humans, but humanity remains humanity, in other words, we still need oxygen to keep alive and are definitely dependant on one another in one way or another. Look at all the development and modernity, we shouldn’t be blinded, in real sense, whatever man has made all through the centuries gone by, has never been perfect, that’s why things keep on being advanced year to year, century to century.

Most of us never realize this because we’re blinded by our “seemingly smart brains;” we tend to think we’ve achieved a lot, and so that gives us the right to step over everybody and everything, and just get away with it. But shame upon you; did you ever stop and realize that it is man killing himself each day? We always blame God or the devil, but the