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Of

Those Times,  Whose Name Was Hind,  And Declared Open War With Both

Parties. He Was Successful In Several Actions,  And Spoiled Many Of

The Enemy: Till At Length,  Being Overpowered And Taken,  He Was,

Contrary To The Law Of Arms,  Put Basely And Cowardly To Death By A

Combination Between Twelve Men Of The Enemy's Party,  Who,  After

Some Consultation,  Unanimously Agreed On The Said Murder.

 

Book 1 Chapter 2 Pg 9

This Edward Took To Wife Rebecca,  The Daughter Of The Above-

Mentioned John Hind,  Esq.,  By Whom He Had Issue John,  Edward,

Thomas,  And Jonathan,  And Three Daughters,  Namely,  Grace,  Charity,

And Honour. John Followed The Fortunes Of His Father,  And,

Suffering With Him,  Left No Issue. Edward Was So Remarkable For

His Compassionate Temper That He Spent His Life In Soliciting The

Causes Of The Distressed Captives In Newgate,  And Is Reported To

Have Held A Strict Friendship With An Eminent Divine Who Solicited

The Spiritual Causes Of The Said Captives. He Married Editha,

Daughter And Co-Heiress Of Geoffry Snap,  Gent.,  Who Long Enjoyed

An Office Under The High Sheriff Of London And Middlesex,  By

Which,  With Great Reputation,  He Acquired A Handsome Fortune: By

Her He Had No Issue. Thomas Went Very Young Abroad To One Of Our

American Colonies,  And Hath Not Been Since Heard Of. As For The

Daughters,  Grace Was Married To A Merchant Of Yorkshire Who Dealt

In Horses. Charity Took To Husband An Eminent Gentleman,  Whose

Name I Cannot Learn,  But Who Was Famous For So Friendly A

Disposition That He Was Bail For Above A Hundred Persons In One

Year. He Had Likewise The Remarkable Humour Of Walking In

Westminster-Hall With A Straw In His Shoe. Honour,  The Youngest,

Died Unmarried: She Lived Many Years In This Town,  Was A Great

Frequenter Of Plays,  And Used To Be Remarkable For Distributing

Oranges To All Who Would Accept Of Them.

 

Jonathan Married Elizabeth,  Daughter Of Scragg Hollow,  Of Hockley-

In-The-Hole,  Esq.; And By Her Had Jonathan,  Who Is The Illustrious

Subject Of These Memoirs.

 

Book 1 Chapter 3 Pg 10

The Birth,  Parentage,  And Education Of Mr. Jonathan Wild The

Great.

 

 

 

 

 

It Is Observable That Nature Seldom Produces Any One Who Is

Afterwards To Act A Notable Part On The Stage Of Life,  But She

Gives Some Warning Of Her Intention; And,  As The Dramatic Poet

Generally Prepares The Entry Of Every Considerable Character With

A Solemn Narrative,  Or At Least A Great Flourish Of Drums And

Trumpets,  So Doth This Our Alma Mater By Some Shrewd Hints Pre-

Admonish Us Of Her Intention,  Giving Us Warning,  As It Were,  And

Book 1 Chapter 3 Pg 11

Crying--

 

     --Venienti Occurrite Morbo.

 

Thus Astyages,  Who Was The Grandfather Of Cyrus,  Dreamt That His

Daughter Was Brought To Bed Of A Vine,  Whose Branches Overspread

All Asia; And Hecuba,  While Big With Paris,  Dreamt That She Was

Delivered Of A Firebrand That Set All Troy In Flames; So Did The

Mother Of Our Great Man,  While She Was With Child Of Him,  Dream

That She Was Enjoyed In The Night By The Gods Mercury And Priapus.

This Dream Puzzled All The Learned Astrologers Of Her Time,

Seeming To Imply In It A Contradiction; Mercury Being The God Of

Ingenuity,  And Priapus The Terror Of Those Who Practised It. What

Made This Dream The More Wonderful,  And Perhaps The True Cause Of

Its Being Remembered,  Was A Very Extraordinary Circumstance,

Sufficiently Denoting Something Preternatural In It; For Though

She Had Never Heard Even The Name Of Either Of These Gods,  She

Repeated These Very Words In The Morning,  With Only A Small

Mistake Of The Quantity Of The Latter,  Which She Chose To Call

Priapus Instead Of Priapus; And Her Husband Swore That,  Though He

Might Possibly Have Named Mercury To Her (For He Had Heard Of Such

An Heathen God),  He Never In His Life Could Anywise Have Put Her

In Mind Of That Other Deity,  With Whom He Had No Acquaintance.

 

Another Remarkable Incident Was,  That During Her Whole Pregnancy

She Constantly Longed For Everything She Saw; Nor Could Be

Satisfied With Her Wish Unless She Enjoyed It Clandestinely; And

As Nature,  By True And Accurate Observers,  Is Remarked To Give Us

No Appetites Without Furnishing Us With The Means Of Gratifying

Them; So Had She At This Time A Most Marvellous Glutinous Quality

Attending Her Fingers,  To Which,  As To Birdlime,  Everything

Closely Adhered That She Handled.

 

To Omit Other Stories,  Some Of Which May Be Perhaps The Growth Of

Superstition,  We Proceed To The Birth Of Our Hero,  Who Made His

First Appearance On This Great Theatre The Very Day When The

Plague First Broke Out In 1665. Some Say His Mother Was Delivered

Of Him In An House Of An Orbicular Or Round Form In Covent-Garden;

But Of This We Are Not Certain. He Was Some Years Afterwards

Baptized By The Famous Mr. Titus Oates.

 

Nothing Very Remarkable Passed In His Years Of Infancy,  Save That,

As The Letters Th Are The Most Difficult Of Pronunciation,  And The

Last Which A Child Attains To The Utterance Of,  So They Were The

First That Came With Any Readiness From Young Master Wild. Nor

Must We Omit The Early Indications Which He Gave Of The Sweetness

Of His Temper; For Though He Was By No Means To Be Terrified Into

Compliance,  Yet Might He,  By A Sugar-Plum,  Be Brought To Your

Purpose; Indeed,  To Say The Truth,  He Was To Be Bribed To

Anything,  Which Made Many Say He Was Certainly Born To Be A Great

Man.

 

He Was Scarce Settled At School Before He Gave Marks Of His Lofty

And Aspiring Temper; And Was Regarded By All His Schoolfellows

Book 1 Chapter 3 Pg 12

With That Deference Which Men Generally Pay To Those Superior

Geniuses Who Will Exact It Of Them. If An Orchard Was To Be Robbed

Wild Was Consulted,  And,  Though He Was Himself Seldom Concerned In

The Execution Of The Design,  Yet Was He Always Concerter Of It,

And Treasurer Of The Booty,  Some Little Part Of Which He Would Now

And Then,  With Wonderful Generosity,  Bestow On Those Who Took It.

He Was Generally Very Secret On These Occasions; But If Any

Offered To Plunder Of His Own Head,  Without Acquainting Master

Wild,  And Making A Deposit Of The Booty,  He Was Sure To Have An

Information Against Him Lodged With The Schoolmaster,  And To Be

Severely Punished For His Pains.

 

He Discovered So Little Attention To School-Learning That His

Master,  Who Was A Very Wise And Worthy Man,  Soon Gave Over All

Care And Trouble On That Account,  And,  Acquainting His Parents

That Their Son Proceeded Extremely Well In His Studies,  He

Permitted His Pupil To Follow His Own Inclinations,  Perceiving

They Led Him To Nobler Pursuits Than The Sciences,  Which Are

Generally Acknowledged To Be A Very Unprofitable Study,  And Indeed

Greatly To Hinder The Advancement Of Men In The World: But Though

Master Wild Was Not Esteemed The Readiest At Making His Exercise,

He Was Universally Allowed To Be The Most Dexterous At Stealing It

Of All His Schoolfellows,  Being Never Detected In Such Furtive

Compositions,  Nor Indeed In Any Other Exercitations Of His Great

Talents,  Which All Inclined The Same Way,  But Once,  When He Had

Laid Violent Hands On A Book Called Gradus Ad Parnassum,  I. E. A

Step Towards Parnassus,  On Which Account His Master,  Who Was A Man

Of Most Wonderful Wit And Sagacity,  Is Said To Have Told Him He

Wished It Might Not Prove In The Event Gradus Ad Patibulum,  I. E.

A Step Towards The Gallows.

 

But,  Though He Would Not Give Himself The Pains Requisite To

Acquire A Competent Sufficiency In The Learned Languages,  Yet Did

He Readily Listen With Attention To Others,  Especially When They

Translated The Classical Authors To Him; Nor Was He In The Least

Backward,  At All Such Times,  To Express His Approbation. He Was

Wonderfully Pleased With That Passage In The Eleventh Iliad Where

Achilles Is Said To Have Bound Two Sons Of Priam Upon A Mountain,

And Afterwards To Have Released Them For A Sum Of Money. This Was,

He Said,  Alone Sufficient To Refute Those Who Affected A Contempt

For The Wisdom Of The Ancients,  And An Undeniable Testimony Of The

Great Antiquity Of Priggism.[Footnote: This Word,  In The Cant

Language,  Signifies Thievery.] He Was Ravished With The Account

Which Nestor Gives In The Same Book Of The Rich Booty Which He

Bore Off (I.E. Stole) From The Eleans. He Was Desirous Of Having

This Often Repeated To Him,  And At The End Of Every Repetition He

Constantly Fetched A Deep Sigh,  And Said It Was A Glorious Booty.

 

When The Story Of Cacus Was Read To Him Out Of The Eighth Aeneid

He Generously Pitied The Unhappy Fate Of That Great Man,  To Whom

He Thought Hercules Much Too Severe: One Of His Schoolfellows

Commending The Dexterity Of Drawing The Oxen Backward By Their

Tails Into His Den,  He Smiled,  And With Some Disdain Said,  He

Could Have Taught Him A Better Way.

Book 1 Chapter 3 Pg 13
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