CHASING LIGHT IN DARKNESS, Shkumbin Gashi [free ereaders .txt] 📗

Table of Contents

1. Fighting with the Shadows

 

2. Adaption or Illusion

 

3. Facing the Demon

 

4. Deprived Family

 

5. Evil has evolved

 

6. Traitor among Us

 

7. Live or die

 

8. The Nightmare is back

 

9. You think you know me

 

10. Why you monster

 

About the Author

Objective Part:

Shkumbin Gashi was born on 17.05.1991 on Podujeva- Kosovo. He started his primary school on his village on the age of 6 but he had to stop it because during that period 1999 the war started on Kosovo.

 

He continued and finished primary school on Hasan Prishtina in capital city of Kosovo Prishtina when he showed big curiosity on science and human behaviors.

 

     After this period he continued his education on Sami Frasheri gymnasium. During this time he went deep in his interest on the field Psychology and criminology as result of that he applied on Philosophic University of Prishtina –Department of Psychology BA degree which he finished on 2013 intellectually and psychologically well formed.

 

     He lives in Prishtina (age 23) with his family and its chasing his dream of finding new research ways on fighting schizophrenia and writing books about human condition. Chasing Light in Darkness (Origin of the Invisible Soldier) is the first book of a series planed to be written on the near future.

 

 

 

Subjective Part:

    “Working in our dreams is big step, but believing on them is the key to success”

                                                                                                            Shkumbin Gashi

                         

 

    The future belongs to a person who doesn’t stop before any obstacle in his way, doesn’t let fear and other inside demons set clouds in front of him, but instead show the real force of determination and laugh to those doubts and demons by proving them wrong.

 

 I've always thought that my only way to fully understand myself is to do what I really believe to be my mission, no matter how impossible it looks to others. And this road is writing books that challenge our thinking.

Inside me I take my decisions and trust in their finality ,so  I am confident that my dream will be soon reality, not just a imaginary picture inside my head.

 

     By the time I was 13, I understood that despite my peers I didn’t want to be a famous soccer player but instead wanted to help people and write books.

 

    I recall an event that has made me think deeper during that time. When I was in primary school(6th grade) a new kid came to my class ,the first moment I saw him his face was covered with a shadow of sadness .First days I didn’t understand that pain inside his heart ,but when I started  spending more time with him,  I realized that he has lost his parents in war.

 

       Seeing him crying and seeing his mother face only in his dreams it was painful even to me .Since that moment I promised that I will do anything I can to never see a kid in that powerful horrifying state of emotions .That is the primary reason I applied in psychology .

 

      Filled with the desire to go further in the field of researching and studying for human nature I applied for study in psychology at University of Prishtina, Kosovo.

 

During that 3 years time in my classes, I learned important information about human behavior and emotional life, more important how to deal with the situations when a person is harmed emotionally, physically or in sexual form. 

 

     I have to say that this 3 years period was the time which helped me to be formed intellectually and cognitively, and have more accurate picture how to deal with the issues that are related with psychology of vulnerable people in general. This also has equipped me a power to write books that show the reality how it really is.

 

     For my common sense a real career in books writing cannot be formed until one gets involved in it purely with the best intentions combined with academic and scientific component.

 

Chasing Light in Darkness-Origin of the White Shadow  is the first book written by me. The story is written in the blurb (book description) but the reasons and the subjective part after the book I will explain below.

 

  There are solid subjective reasons why I wrote this book. Few years ago when I was only 12 years ago I saw a woman committing suicide.

 

She was a woman who jumped from her apartment that was one floor above my apartment. I never understood why she did it.

 

 This event made me think about human nature, how far we can go on evil. Few years latter l started thinking about writing a book exploring human behaviors. I was playing with my imagination to come with a fiction story but that reflects reality on the same time.

 

 When I wrote this book I had on mind especially one group of people, as I like to call them the deep ones, people who have a strong critical voice, who search for meaning of things on life

 

 The inspiration for me to write this book except that case mentioned above is you the deep ones, I want to have a cognitive connection with you people and discover the world like it’s really is not how we like to be.

 

 It took almost a year writing this book. In order to write in perfect way I had to visualize everything and play it like a movie on my head. So I feel really excited that finally it’s done and I hope it will reach at the ears that need to hear this.

 

 While writing it I learned very valuable thinks, the same I think you potential reader will. In the end I learned that I have to accept my shadows and fight with them, in order to make peace with myself.

 

Chapter I

 

                     Fighting with the Shadows

                                          

      -London in first sight a dream city, gives you impression that everything is amazing and perfect. Houses and other architectural objects are constructed in dream way, charming with connection between antique and modern.

 

As a matter of fact the rich neighborhoods of London are famous for their luxury and well being life since medieval times. In this city lives the main character of the story Bruce Loan a well known and highly decorated detective.

 

Now in the age of 42(it’s the year 2013) he is passing a life transition and an identity crisis this affected by many events that had happened on his life leaving deep marks on his heart and mind.

He is a respected man with good life standard but he was missing something... a big space was on his chest.

 

A stranger may think that nothing can go wrong there; very easy fallen dreams can rise again granting a pure happiness. But a deep person has to think more and use introspection to understand if it’s possible that this material well being can fulfill this spiritual gap or even more to substitute it.

 

  History has proven that this social and economical well being not always is a guarantee for light and happiness so much hoped for. Many historical figures are the best fact and proofs that not everything material is a medicine for spiritual.

 

        Prince of Nepal Buddha had everything he wanted inside his palace, he was a prince and everyone would think that he was the happiest man in the world, ultimately what he could desire more than to have all that money, or to be surrounded by people who cared even for his sleep.

 

  But seeing others outside the palace that were at war for survival, but were still happy deep inside them, and in other side all his wishes were guaranteed but still he couldn’t understand himself and find purpose, he felt that he needs a change, a drastic one.

 

 As a result of that confusion Buddha decided that in order to find his path he has to leave behind his luxury life and search for medicine on spiritual way.

 

 Eventually he did it, finding the inner peace and latter becoming an inspirational figure for millions of people. Some see him like a god others like a big philosopher but in the end all agree that he leaved a great lesson for humans.

 

Life is an ocean, a person has to dig deep inside him to find meaning, fight with his demon, and not accept what he doesn’t totally understand, because his end could be on an abyss of anger and sorrow.

 Those questions and hypothesis that are philosophical and sometimes complicated for other people for Bruce are very vivid and practical.

After a long day of chasing the bad guys of city, Bruce was sitting on his room all alone, accompanied with his best friend a Jack Daniels bottle that he had received as a gift from his colleagues few years ago. The curtains didn’t allow the light to get in on the room instead of that, the darkness substituted that absence of the white

 

 His mind is playing games with him, he was doing a scary monologue with his mind or you might call it debate because sometimes he feels like he is separated on two parts the one belonging to heart and other to mind.

 

        A man is in constant war with others and the self, the second one it looks that has more painfully battles. It fights with emotions, behaviors, decisions, and question like (who I am? Is my reality illusion, what is my purpose) interrupts even his breath by tormenting it to find a solution or go on the road of the madness.

I am a good man ,at least this is what I hope and believe, but recently everything is suspicious and confusion  I’m not a big fan of myself, so I don’t ask something like that from anyone, not love, or mercy, I just want to be saved in one way or another.

       

 Without finishing those words he falls in deep sleep that looks comfortable, but for Bruce it was another level of consciousness that wasn’t leaving him alone not even on his dreams.

 

 A terrible nightmare that visits him every night didn’t forgot to pay a visit even this time. Demons within started to hunt him on his black and scary nightmare.

 

 Bruce stands lost in this ground that looked like some unknown planet atmosphere, in a far galactic, with no signs of life. In this shallow Bruce is walking half naked (that represented his emotions) like lost, without a known destination, changing the rhythm sometimes running faster.

 

 Suddenly in that dark