Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life, Jason Goodwin [ink book reader .txt] 📗

addressed. Use the “feelings table of contents” ifyou find yourself experiencing some difficult emotions and want toturn directly to the chapters that may help you most in your timeof need.

Throughout the book, I use the term “we” whenreferring to our collective experiences as survivors of sexualabuse, but that does not mean I have personally experienced everyissue I discuss. Everyone’s story is different. I haveintentionally left out the details of my own abuse to help youremain focused on your own issues and your personal healingprocess. I would like the reader to know that my parents have beenvery supportive of me throughout my healing journey.

Please make this book your own. Write in themargins, make notes to yourself, and personalize it as much as youlike. Re-do the exercises and re-read each section as often as youneed to. Continue to work towards healing, whether that takes ayear or a lifetime. Agree with me, disagree with me, but getinvolved and do the healing work. I hope this book will help youidentify whatever issues you still struggle with. I hope you willmake a commitment to overcoming them. After all, this work is foryou.

Throughout this book, I make occasionalreferences to God. It is not my intention to alienate agnostics oratheists, and you do not have to believe in God to complete theexercises. It is my deepest hope that you will use whateverinformation you find to be a source of strength. Discard anythingthat does not fit for you.

I urge you to take responsibility for yourown healing process. You will likely identify with many of theissues presented in this book. Others will seem unfamiliar to you.Your healing process is your own. No two survivors are exactlyalike. In the realm of sexual addiction, for instance, I believethat men are more likely to view pornography, while women are morelikely to engage in prostitution.

It is not my purpose to condemn theperpetrators of sexual abuse. Most perpetrators are survivorsthemselves. They experienced the same, intense feelings ofpowerlessness, shame, and anger that we did. Unfortunately, theychose to repeat the cycle of abuse.

To break this cycle, we need to healourselves and take ownership of our pain. We must vow to never passthis pain on to others.

You may be wondering, “Am I ready to look atthese issues? Am I ready to face this?”

I can tell you that I never felt ready toface the pain of sexual abuse. I chose to work on myself because Iwas tired of moving from one unhealthy relationship to the next. Iwas tired of feeling lonely and miserable. I was tired of beingstuck. For most of my life, I believed that I would never be ableto heal the pain of my past.

I have attempted to address the issues mostcommonly experienced by survivors of sexual abuse in order ofascending difficulty. The first three chapters focus on how toapproach this healing process. Chapter four begins the “real work.”I hope you will move into the more painful subjects slowly andcarefully. It is important to address those deeper issues withplenty of support from counselors, family, friends, and self-helpgroups. It is important to remain safe during your healingprocess.

Signs that you may be getting overwhelmedemotionally include crying for more than half an hour, feeling verydepressed, experiencing recurring flashbacks or nightmares aboutthe abuse, increasing drug/alcohol use, or feeling an increaseddesire to engage in other forms of self-destructive behavior.

Recovery is a process, not an event. It isnot realistic to believe that we can heal all of our issues in asingle day, week, month, or year. Healing requires patience and asteady hand. It requires that we cultivate greater love forourselves over time. We need to develop a gentle way to deal withour pain and our grief.

If you start feeling emotionally overwhelmed,take a week off. Take some time to feel more centered and balancedagain. Do something that calms your nerves and reduces your stress,like engaging in hobbies or getting lots of rest. This process willstill be there for you when you come back to it.

If you experience an increase in feelings ofdepression or anxiety, don’t be afraid to seek professional help.This may include seeing a doctor or psychiatrist who can prescribeappropriate medication, or a counselor who can help you processyour issues.

A close friend of mine committed suicidebecause she gave up hope and decided there was no way to escape thepain. But I want you to know, there is a way to heal. There is away through the grief, the shame, and the doubt.

Suicide is never the answer. If you ever feelsuicidal for any reason, or know someone who is feeling suicidal,immediately contact a suicide hotline, a counselor, or the policeto ensure your safety or the safety of the person involved.

Survivors often suffer from brokenrelationships with themselves, with others, and with God. It ispossible to heal these relationships by healing the sexual abuse.The key lies within each one of us. It’s time to unlock thatdoor.

Feelings Table Of Contents

-I feel hopeless:

A) Hope

-I feel angry about sexual abuse or having nocontrol:

A) Grieving

B) Fear

C) Control

D) Anger

E) Betrayal

F) Trust

G) Forgiving

-I feel angry with people because theybetrayed me:

A) Fear

B) Control

C) Anger

D) Betrayal

E) Trust

F) Forgiving

-I feel angry with God because of theabuse:

A) Low Self-Esteem

B) Anger

C) Betrayal

-I feel like abusing drugs/alcohol:

A) Chemical Addiction

B) Dealing With Pain

C) Relapse

D) Self-Sabotage

E) Fear

F) Control

G) Anger

-I feel like turning to addictive sexualbehaviors:

A) Sexual Addiction

B) Healing Sexual Addiction

C) Dealing With Pain

D) Relapse

E) Self-Sabotage

F) Fear

G) Control

H) Anger

-I don’t want to get healthy:

A) Dealing With Pain

B) Self-Sabotage

-I spend too much time alone:

A) Dealing With Pain

B) Relapse

C) Self-Sabotage

D) Depression

E) Grieving

-I feel sad or depressed:

A) Hope

B) Goals

C) Dealing With Pain

D) Relapse

E) Self-Sabotage

F) Body Image

G) Beyond Shame & Guilt

H) Depression

I) Grieving

J) The Inner Child

K) Deserving Love

-I feel like a victim of my past:

A) Dealing With Pain

B) Inner Child

C) Betrayal

-I feel afraid:

A) Goals

B) Powerlessness

C) Fear

D) Control

-I feel stressed or worried:

A) Grieving

B) Fear

C) Control

D) Self-Care

-I feel bad about myself:

A) Relapse

B) Self-Sabotage

C) Body Image

D) Low Self-Esteem

E) High Self-Esteem

F) Forgiving

G) Self-Care

-I blame myself for having been sexuallyabused:

A) Body Image

B) Beyond Shame & Guilt

C) Low Self-Esteem

D) High Self-Esteem

-I feel unworthy or abandoned:

A) Depression

B) Grieving

C) The Inner Child

D) Deserving Love

E) Betrayal

F) Unhealthy Relationships

G)