Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life, Jason Goodwin [ink book reader .txt] 📗

4.Hyper-vigilance. 5. Exaggerated startle response.”

I, like many of you, have experiencedflashbacks to the abuse. There is a new technique available topeople who suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder called EyeMovement Desensitization and Reprogramming (EMDR). There aretrained therapists who utilize in this technique, which works bysynchronizing the left and right hemispheres of the brain. EMDRoften results in a reduction in the frequency and intensity offlashbacks.

Another healing technique I found to behelpful was acupuncture. When I was feeling very emotional ortraumatized, I took full advantage of the free acupuncture that wasoffered to the employees where I worked. Acupuncture was a part ofthe recovery program for alcoholics and addicts, as it has beenshown to significantly reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms whenaddicts are attempting to get sober. It also reduces stress.

Deep relaxation is another excellent way torelieve anxiety. I often spend an hour in the evening listening torelaxing music. I use candles for mood lighting, and do deepbreathing exercises until I feel very calm. I often feel moreenergetic and mentally focused the next day.

To handle feelings of loneliness, I decidedto get a dog. Waiting for me at the kennel was William Wallace, athree-month old miniature dachshund with a heart of gold.Throughout the last five years, Willie has sat on my lap as I criedand processed my issues. He has never failed to love me, and he hasalways been there for me when I needed him. He still puts a smileon my face. Willie is a little ball of energy, and is one of thewarmest, most loving souls I have ever known.

Another powerful tool in my healing processwas the martial art, Tae Kwon Do. I experienced a lot of angerabout having been sexually abused, and Tae Kwon Do gave me apositive, safe way to release my angry feelings. I experience arush of endorphins when I do marital arts, and the norepinephrine(a neurotransmitter in the brain that is enhanced throughexercise), helps to lift me out of depression and feel morepositive. Any type of exercise that increases your heart rate forat least 15 minutes, three times per week, will have a similareffect on your body and your brain. In addition, exercise is a veryeffective method of relieving stress.

Another important healing technique isengaging in healthy social activity. Going to church, having funwith a group of people who share common interests, or pursuing ourhobbies can make us feel more connected, more supported, andrelieve feelings of loneliness and isolation. All of us needpositive social interactions with others. Having friends and peoplein the community to share our lives with is essential to ourwell-being.

Journaling has been a mainstay of my healingprocess. While I was working on sexual abuse issues, I wrote in myjournal on an almost daily basis. To process all of my issues, itwas essential for me to keep an open line of communication withmyself. Journaling helps survivors of sexual abuse to work throughthe whirlwind of thoughts, feelings, struggles, and fears that weexperience.

I have also gone for many, long walks. Whendifficult thoughts and feelings are swirling around inside my head,I need a way to release my energy. The physical motion of walkinghelps me to process and move through my issues. As I keep walkingand keep moving, my thoughts, feelings, and issues keep moving aswell.

Finally, I want to discuss what I call“emotional meltdowns.” There are times when I have felt sopowerless, so victimized, and so sensitive that I could not handlethe stress of work. I never lost a job because of it. I never felloff the face of the earth, “freaked out,” or attempted suicide. ButI did call in sick. It is important to recognize when you arefeeling overwhelmed and take time to take care of yourself. Call ita wellness day if you like, but be good to yourself and bekind.

Survivors of sexual abuse have to handle somevery intense challenges. It isn’t always easy to face our traumaand our fear. That’s why we need a back-up plan. Make sure you knowwhat to do if you get into emotional trouble. Have the phonenumbers of people you can call in case of emergency. Seek help fromtherapists, doctors, or even the police. If you know your limits,you can plan accordingly, and this healing process does not have tonegatively affect other areas of your life.

Personal Journal Entries

Entry #1: Healing Sexual Abuse

I have wanted to get into a relationship,thinking it would magically solve my problems. But that is crazythinking. What causes my depression, self-hatred, fear, anger, lowself-esteem, and feelings of unworthiness?

It is the pain of sexual abuse. The onlysolution is to heal my pain. Hiding behind a relationship or anaddiction will never solve my problems.

How can I heal the pain of sexual abuse?

1. By Loving Myself

2. By Grieving

3. By Letting Go Of The Past

4. By Allowing My Feelings

5. By Stopping My Self-Sabotage

Process Questions

What are some of the misguided ways I’vetried to handle the pain of sexual abuse in the past? (Usingdrugs/alcohol, avoiding the issue, relying on people in intimaterelationships to make me feel better about myself,prostitution/pornography, etc…)

How well have these misguided approachesworked for me? Did they ever cause more problems than theysolved?

What are some healthy techniques I can usenow to heal the pain of sexual abuse?

What is one thing I can start doingdifferently right away that will help me feel better aboutmyself?

Stepping Stones to Health

Healing Techniques

-Try to identify where you are in thestepping-stones to health, and the next step or steps you need totake.

_____ 1. I do not use any healing techniquesto work on my sexual abuse issues.

_____ 2. I have tried to think positive aboutmy situation in the past.

_____ 3. I have bought or read self-help orinformational books on the subject of sexual abuse.

_____ 4. I have employed journaling, theprocess of writing down my thoughts and

feelings, to help me work through my sexualabuse issues.

_____ 5. I have spoken with other survivorsof sexual abuse and exchanged ideas on

how to cope with my issues.

_____ 6. I have used exercise as a means ofhelping myself feel