The School for Scandal, Richard Brinsley Sheridan [i am reading a book .TXT] 📗

and your own arts have furnished her with the means. — Sir Peter, I do not expect you to credit me⁠—but the tenderness you expressed for me, when I am sure you could not think I was a witness to it, has so penetrated to my heart, that had I left the place without the shame of this discovery, my future life should have spoken the sincerity of my gratitude. As for that smooth-tongued hypocrite, who would have seduced the wife of his too credulous friend, while he affected honourable addresses to his ward⁠—I behold him now in a light so truly despicable, that I shall never again respect myself for having listened to him. Exit Lady Teazle. Joseph Surface Notwithstanding all this, Sir Peter, Heaven knows⁠— Sir Peter That you are a villain! and so I leave you to your conscience. Joseph Surface You are too rash, Sir Peter; you shall hear me. The man who shuts out conviction by refusing to⁠— Sir Peter Oh, damn your sentiments! Exeunt Sir Peter and Joseph Surface, talking. Act V Scene I

The library in Joseph Surface’s house.

Enter Joseph Surface and Servant. Joseph Surface Mr. Stanley! and why should you think I would see him? you must know he comes to ask something. Servant Sir, I should not have let him in, but that Mr. Rowley came to the door with him. Joseph Surface Pshaw! blockhead! to suppose that I should now be in a temper to receive visits from poor relations!⁠—Well, why don’t you show the fellow up? Servant I will, sir. — Why, sir, it was not my fault that Sir Peter discovered my lady⁠— Joseph Surface Go, fool!⁠— Exit Servant. Sure Fortune never played a man of my, policy such a trick before! My character with Sir Peter, my hopes with Maria, destroyed in a moment! I’m in a rare humour to listen to other people’s distresses! I shan’t be able to bestow even a benevolent sentiment on Stanley. — So! here he comes, and Rowley with him. I must try to recover myself, and put a little charity into my face, however. Exit. Enter Sir Oliver Surface and Rowley. Sir Oliver What! does he avoid us? That was he, was it not? Rowley It was, sir. But I doubt you are come a little too abruptly. His nerves are so weak, that the sight of a poor relation may be too much for him. I should have gone first to break it to him. Sir Oliver Oh, plague of his nerves! Yet this is he whom Sir Peter extols as a man of the most benevolent way of thinking! Rowley As to his way of thinking, I cannot pretend to decide; for, to do him justice, he appears to have as much speculative benevolence as any private gentleman in the kingdom, though he is seldom so sensual as to indulge himself in the exercise of it. Sir Oliver Yet he has a string of charitable sentiments at his fingers’ ends. Rowley Or, rather, at his tongue’s end, Sir Oliver; for I believe there is no sentiment he has such faith in as that Charity begins at home. Sir Oliver And his, I presume, is of that domestic sort which never stirs abroad at all. Rowley I doubt you’ll find it so;⁠—but he’s coming. I mustn’t seem to interrupt you; and you know, immediately as you leave him, I come in to announce your arrival in your real character. Sir Oliver True; and afterwards you’ll meet me at Sir Peter’s. Rowley Without losing a moment. Exit. Sir Oliver I don’t like the complaisance of his features. Reenter Joseph Surface. Joseph Surface Sir, I beg you ten thousand pardons for keeping you a moment waiting⁠—Mr. Stanley, I presume. Sir Oliver At your service. Joseph Surface Sir, I beg you will do me the honour to sit down⁠—I entreat you, sir⁠— Sir Oliver Dear sir⁠—there’s no occasion. Aside. Too civil by half! Joseph Surface I have not the pleasure of knowing you, Mr. Stanley; but I am extremely happy to see you look so well. You were nearly related to my mother, I think, Mr. Stanley. Sir Oliver I was, sir; so nearly that my present poverty, I fear, may do discredit to her wealthy children, else I should not have presumed to trouble you. Joseph Surface Dear sir, there needs no apology;⁠—he that is in distress, though a stranger, has a right to claim kindred with the wealthy. I am sure I wish I was one of that class, and had it in my power to offer you even a small relief. Sir Oliver If your uncle, Sir Oliver, were here, I should have a friend. Joseph Surface I wish he was, sir, with all my heart: you should not want an advocate with him, believe me, sir. Sir Oliver I should not need one⁠—my distresses would recommend me. But I imagined his bounty would enable you to become the agent of his charity. Joseph Surface My dear sir, you were strangely misinformed. Sir Oliver is a worthy man, a very worthy man; but avarice, Mr. Stanley, is the vice of age. I will tell you, my good sir, in confidence, what he has done for me has been a mere nothing; though people, I know, have thought otherwise, and, for my part, I never chose to contradict the report. Sir Oliver What! has he never transmitted you bullion⁠—rupees⁠—pagodas?24 Joseph Surface Oh, dear sir, nothing of the kind! No, no; a few presents now and then⁠—china, shawls, congou tea, avadavats, and Indian crackers⁠—little more, believe me. Sir Oliver Here’s gratitude for twelve thousand pounds!⁠—Avadavats and Indian crackers! Aside. Joseph Surface Then, my dear sir, you have heard, I doubt not, of the extravagance of my brother: there are very few would credit what I have done for that unfortunate young man. Sir Oliver Not I, for one! Aside. Joseph Surface The sums I have lent him!⁠—Indeed I have been exceedingly to blame; it was an amiable weakness; however, I don’t pretend to defend it⁠—and now I feel it doubly