All Hot Guys Are Jerks(Under-Editing)-Chapters 1-9 Avaliable, Isa Baby [fiction book recommendations .TXT] 📗

 What’s the use? They use you, abuse you and trample all over your heart ,and  they have the nerve to think you won’t say shit, well apart from snivel like a little kid and end up getting looks from everyone like you were to blame. You think that you did something wrong, stepped out of line, well maybe you did in their eyes, whether it's dating the boy over half the girl population adores or just trying to live your life with whoever you like, you go and find a boyfriend who will accept you for who you are, well to be honest we all know why they say that but newsflash: no one is ever happy.

That’s how it always is, The Boy, The Hot Jerk, whatever you want to call him ,who is a jock(most likely), or maybe the hot broody bad boy who no one can get close to, maybe a cute nerd who somehow looks totally innocent with all those text books hiding his adorable face but i bet you he is anything but, the sweet musician who captured your heart because he dedicates a song to you...shall i go on?

That boy, that mistake who has an obscene amount of girls swooning over him, somehow manages to catch you, your eyes, your heart, and your mind, and he then proceeds to consume it taking over and dominating you.

You may be a quiet girl or a popular one- it doesn't matter because nine times out of ten, no matter you status you will get cheated on, i guarantee it, they all start out perfect ,but slowly they become the one thing you wished you never met. Well I’m not like any of those girls, I am not anything like that, I hate labels, and most of all i hate hot jerks. If you touch me, or even glance my way, you’re as good as dead.

trusttrʌst/noun

1.firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

Trust(Aurora's Definition)-A sacred value which you should never give anyone, ever. They will always find a way to sneak in and grab your trust with both hands, You end up giving them a bit of lee way and they run ahead 50 mph ,I should know firsthand, i gave my trust out to those who i once love and look how messed up i am. You end up lonely, defenceless and anyone can take advantage of you. Never give trust out and always watch your back, never trust anyone, period.

 Shit happens. Life is full of ups and downs, isn't that what everyone says? Well let’s just say karma came my way and for me, there were mostly downs throughout my entire childhood life. There have been a lot of events in my life that made me the way I am today. That once careless, confident young girl disappeared along with my confidence, trust and self-esteem.

There's a certain reason why I don't trust men, boys, anyone who is of the opposite gender. They always end up letting you down, even if they don't mean it somehow they just end up dropping you and leaving. Whether it's for another woman, a family they left behind or just their own issues. Somehow it always comes back to the old bullshit story , it's not you, it's me crap. Trust me when I say this, the word "event" can sum up my past experiences as some of the shit that has happened to me has broken me and the people around me, i say this because I am not that type of dramatic drama queen at all, those things had made me like this; never making eye contact towards anyone, never smiling just because, there was nothing in my life was worth smiling for any more. The worst of it? The physical contact, mostly from men, as whenever they saw girls alone they would surround and pounce on them as if they were wolves fighting over meat, and, yes they were that bad it made me physically sick even if I thought about it. But I had to endure that even though they knew I had a lot of issues, they still tortured and tormented me so as to see if I reacted and to get a quick feel of my body, it was as if I had sold my body to them so they could do what they pleased.

I was anxious almost everyday, waiting on something to happen, anything really so i could relieve the stress and be at ease. The inner turmoil of my thoughts had grown so large to the point that it tended to drown out anything that ran through my mind, i became forgetful, my presence seeming absent and lost. I often wandered around college just thinking to myself, no watching where i was going, and more than often people threw abuse at me, telling me to watch where i was going, they had labelled me a freak at college, the girls seemingly didn't know or didn't care that i was a friend or had any relations to Lumi, otherwise they wouldn't treat me the way they did. Lumi mostly worried for my health, he got angry that i wasn't taking care of myself and had noticed that i was becoming thinner and weaker, my body deteriorating as days slowly passed. i couldn't blame him though, what other explanation was there for my rapid decrease in weight? Maybe he thought i was like other girls in that way, and i was trying to look stick thin, however in my opinion, i thought it to be highly sickening and unattractive. My anger grew, as did my thoughts on Lumi, maybe he thought i was vying for his attention like a stupid, lovesick teenager. I remember for that entire day,i ignored him, walking around the shop which was harder than i thought with his presence blocking me, he seemed to have this control over me which i hated with a passion. I hated how he thought he had control over me, and that he could do as he pleased, he was a player and a jerk at that. But somehow i ended up caring about him.

 Some days, he would joke that i was like a second mother to him. If i didn't live the way i did, if i was another girl with an almost perfect life, just worrying about college and boys and clothes i would laugh at his crappy attempts to make me laugh. But instead, i seemed to recall how i ended up with no mother and yet i attained caring qualities, i didn't deserve anything, least of all to be called motherly. After all who did i get that quality off, my mom was literally non existent so the last word i would associate myself with was a motherly .

From the outside I may have looked like a a pretty girl who vied for attention, but I knew I wasn't. They took one glance at me and made assumptions. I hated every day of it. Assumptions were just a shitty excuse and go-ahead to judge someone. Some people called me bitchy and vain but that was mostly because of my looks, but sometimes I envied other girls and wished I looked average, even though I was far from it, my looks were a painful reminder of my past. The walls I had built around me just told me to ignore the whispers and rumours that spread like wildfire most of which involved me. How do I know this? Well even though they were talking about me their voices were so loud and clear they might of well have said it to my face, but none of them did. I just ignored them. They knew I could take them, however I kept my cool and carried on just, for fear of being noticed. That's what trust did to you; it destroyed you, ebbed at your soul until there was nothing special, no spark inside you left.

The things i had learnt helped me through the hard times. I didn't answer back to no one, I had learnt from the previous year I had arrived here, never to answer back unless you wanted a good, hard beating. This was the extreme measures you had to go to, so you can get by and survive in this fucked up world, well you had to learn to keep your mouth shut unless you prefer to die. You see those things on TV ,especially where I live now in Phoenix, most people wouldn’t last a week here without getting hurt badly, but my past was ten times worse than shit here. There are lives lost everyday mostly due to gangs roaming the streets looking for trouble, just to gain a inch of respect, the only way to do that here was killing someone. But you wouldn't say anything to them otherwise they would beat the living daylights out of you. And no there weren't any equal gender rights here, no one cared. I may have looked like a model according to most men but then I was average, nothing special. To many, I actually looked like a weird girl, slowly walking down the street, i ended up many times thinking to myself, about what my life would have been like if i had a family, a stable home, a normal life it may have seemed strange to others, considering what i had been through but I wanted a education, kids a husband as well, one day in the near distant future.

No matter how many times they continued to beat me up, I kept reminding myself I would get out of this hell hole soon. Just me. Not Lumi, he would be happy if i gave him my shop, after all materialistic things made the world go round. I however, wanted a normal life but I guess it didn't work out. No one cared back then neither, they just watched on not a care in the world, unlike me. They saw how other kids treated me but just watched on. I knew what they were thinking, every single one of them-‘Poor girl look at her standing taking that shit in, not fighting back.’ but did they do anything? No they didn't, it was all about the looks and popularity back then, if you hung out with a girl who resembled a Goth, your status might have been shoved out the window. I just kept to myself, I was shy then but realizing no one wanted to be friends with me , my whole self confidence disappeared.

People tend to leave me alone as I practically had SELF-HARMER GIRL tattooed to my forehead. No one wants to get involved in your shit, not then and definitely not now, because people are going to be chasing after either two things your money or your blood and let’s face it either way you’re going to die. So to survive you got keep your head down and stay away from any shit. That’s what