Redemption, H.L.B. Adams [grave mercy txt] 📗

hurt you again. He probably just wants to talk about Mac. You know her first steps and all of that.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Ann said composing herself. “I don’t know why I thought that, or why I would even care.”

“Because you’re still in love with him.”

“No I’m not. I’ve told you time and again, I’m over it.”

“Over it not him.”

“Semantics,” Ann said getting frustrated.

“No sweetie not semantics. There is a big difference between being over what he did and being over him, and you know that. Stop lying to yourself. You’ll be happier when you do.”

“And how will me saying I love him make me happier.”

“Because it’ll give you the chance to move on, with him or without him. The sooner you admit it the sooner you can work through your emotions.”

“I don’t think that…”

“Stop thinking! Dammit Ann! For once stop thinking and just feel,” Jason said getting frustrated himself. He was so tired of seeing her do this to herself. It was bad enough before Brandon came back, but now that he was back it was hell. All of her pent up emotions were going to boil over one day and hurt her. Why couldn’t she see that?

“Jason,” Ann said surprised and confused at his outburst. Jason took a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his face. “I’m sorry, but sweetie if you keep holding it all in it’s just going to hurt a hell of a lot more when it finally comes out. Do me a favor?”

“What?”

“Go and hang out with him tonight. Figure out how you feel, how he feels, and try to move on, either together or apart, but move on.”

“I don’t know if I can?”

“You can. I know you can. Mackenzie gets her strength and resilience from you,” Jason said and hugged her. “You can do it. Don’t be afraid. What’s meant to be will be. So go figure out what’s meant to be. You don’t have to figure it all out tonight, but you need to at least take the first step.”

“Okay, I’ll go,” Ann said, “But if I need you I’m interrupting your date. Jasmine will understand.”

“Argh, but I don’t think I will,” Jason said with a pained look on his face. Ann just laughed at him.

 

Ann called Brandon when she got home. “Hey, I thought about it and sure why don’t we hang out for a little while,” Ann said as soon as he answered the phone.

“Okay, you want to just come and hang out at the house? I can order a pizza and I have some beer,” Brandon said a little surprised she had agreed to hang out with him, but happy about it.

“Umm… sure,” Ann said wondering if the two of them alone was a good thing. Then she thought back to what Jason had said and decided that type of conversation wasn’t meant for public.

“Okay, I’ll see you in a little bit,” Brandon said happily.

“Yeah, see ya soon,” Ann said and hung up.

 ‘Okay, so what do you wear to hang out with your ex, who happens to be the father of your child, who has be MIA for the past six years,’ Ann thought to herself as she headed to her room to get ready. “Jeans,” she said aloud, “don’t want him to think I’m expecting anything.”

 

   Ann arrived at Brandon’s about thirty minutes later. She sat in the car for a few minutes giving herself a pep talk. She was so into her thoughts she didn’t even notice Brandon come out of the house. When she heard the knock on the window she jumped. She looked over and saw Brandon standing there with a worried look on his face. “You okay?” he asked through the closed door and window.

    Ann opened the door and got out. “Yeah, why?” she asked as they headed toward the house. “Because you’ve been sitting out here for fifteen minutes,” Brandon said still looking at her worriedly.

“Oh was I. Sorry I got lost in my thoughts there for a second. I was planning my lessons for next week,” Ann lied.

“Okay,” Brandon said knowing she was lying. She had always been a terrible liar, but he wasn’t going to call her on it. If she wanted him to know what was on her mind she would tell him.

 “Well, I went ahead and ordered the pizza about ten minutes ago while I was waiting for you to come in. You still like your pizza with everything, right?” Brandon said as they entered the house. “Yeah, umm you said you had beer. May I have one?” Ann asked nervously.

“Sure, come on back and I’ll get you one,” he said heading toward the kitchen with Ann following.

 ‘She sure is acting weird,’ Brandon thought as he reached into the fridge to get the both of them a beer. ‘I wonder what’s going on. Maybe after I get a few beers in her she’ll tell me.’

 “Thanks,” Ann said when he handed her the beer, and took a big gulp. When Brandon raised his eyebrows she just shrugged and said, “Thirsty.”

“Okay,” Brandon said still worried. Ann had never been a big drinker, and from what Jason had told him, he concluded she still wasn’t. ‘Yep, something is going on here.’

 “So, Jason has a date with Kenzie’s teacher?” Brandon said heading back into the living room with Ann following. “Yeah,” Ann said smiling as she sat down on the couch. “It’s about time. Those two have been tip toeing around each other ever since she came to town.”

“Well, good for them,” Brandon said sitting down beside her only to have to get back the next second when someone knocked at the door. “Pizza,” Brandon said heading to the door.

  Jason came back a couple minutes later with the pizza. “Plate or just napkins?” he asked sitting the box down on the coffee table. “Ahh why don’t we be a little crazy and go with just napkins,” Ann said laughing.

“Napkins it is,” Brandon said smiling and headed into the kitchen to get some. ‘Well, she seems to finally be relaxing. That’s good,’ he thought as he headed back into the living room.

 “So, what all have you been up to since you’ve been gone?” Ann asked when he sat back down beside her. ‘Crap,’ he thought, ‘I knew I would have to answer that question eventually, but what do I tell her? Do I tell her I’ve just been working, and act like I’ve been living the life of a monk? No she won’t believe that, but how can I tell her I’ve been having a grand ole time, partying and well sleeping around.’

  “Umm, just working mostly,” Brandon said hoping she would be satisfied with that. Ann laughed. “Just working. Come on Brandon. You can tell me the truth. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

“Well what do you want to know?”

“The truth, however much you feel like telling.”

“Well, umm, I’ve dated some, nothing serious. I did a lot of partying for a while.”

“Okay,” Ann said seemingly unfazed.

 ‘I knew she wasn’t still in love with me. I told Jason he was wrong,’ Brandon thought when he got a non-reaction from Ann. “So what all have you been up to?” Brandon asked her.

“Well, I had a baby, buried my father a month later. Worked full time and went to school full time until I graduated. Thanks to Jason and his mom. If it wasn’t for them keeping Mac for me I would never have managed it. Then I got my job at the school, and I’ve just been working and raising Mackenzie ever since,” Ann replied.

 “I’m sorry, Ann. I should have been here. You shouldn’t have had to go through that alone,” Brandon said feeling like the jerk his daughter had called him the first night they had met.

“I wasn’t alone. I had Daddy while I was pregnant, and I had Jason and Mrs. Wright, and Miss Pam. I wasn’t alone just because you weren’t here. They wouldn’t let me be,” Ann said looking at him with a look of acceptance.

“So, I’ve been meaning to ask what happened to your daddy.” Brandon asked needing to change the topic from just how much he hadn’t been needed. Everyone else had been there. She didn’t need him then, and she still didn’t need him.

“Pancreatic cancer,” Ann answered, “He was already in stage four by the time they caught it. There was nothing they could do.”

 Brandon looked over to see one tear slide down her cheek. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he said wondering if he could manage to do anything right tonight. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I still miss him, and I wish Mac had gotten the chance to know him…and momma and your parents. Fate damn sure screwed her out of that,” Ann said taking a bite of pizza. “Yeah,” Brandon said and continued to eat.

  After that they moved to more comfortable topics. How Mackenzie was doing in school? When her next dance recital was? All the different things going on at the school, and throughout town.

   It wasn’t until about midnight that Ann realized she was drunk. ‘Well, it’s now or never. If he doesn’t feel the same way I can at least blame it on the alcohol,’ she thought. “Brandon,” she said getting his attention. He was almost asleep on the couch beside her. “Yeah,” he said opening his eyes.

“There is something I think you ought to know.”

“What’s that?”

“I’m in love with you. I’ve always been in love with you. No matter how many times I have told myself I wasn’t, I am.”

 Brandon woke up and sober up then. He could tell Ann was slightly drunk, but not enough that she wouldn’t remember this in the morning. “Are you telling me the truth?”

“Of course,” Ann said indignant, “Why would I lie about something like that?”

“Don’t know,” he said. “But I guess you ought to know that there hasn’t been a day go by that I haven’t thought of you, and wished I had stayed. I love you. I just didn’t know what to do about it then.”

 “Oh,” Ann said her eyes wide. She hadn’t really expected him to reciprocate her feelings. If she had thought that she wouldn’t have gotten drunk before telling him, just buzzed.

“Not what you expected, huh?” Brandon asked seeing the stunned look on her face. He smiled and leaned in and kissed her.

  After a few minutes Brandon pulled back and looked at the love of his life. “Sweetie, you’re completely smashed and I don’t want to take advantage of you. I’d prefer we both be sober when we… you know.”

“I’m not all that drunk anymore,” Ann said seriously.

   Brandon took a close look at her, and realized she was telling the truth. “Are you sure you want to?” he asked. “I don’t want you to do anything you’re going to regret.”

“Don’t worry I won’t,” she said and kissed him. “I wouldn’t have come if I had meant to do something I’d regret. You know me, no regrets.” With that she got up. Brandon thought for a second she planned on leaving, until she headed up the stairs. He followed in awe.

He couldn’t believe that his life had taken this wonderfully happy turn. When he first came back to town, he thought he was just going to sell the house and leave. Then he found out he had a daughter, and he had a reason to stay. Now, he also had her mom, the love of his life back in his arms.