The Player or the good guy?, NotWithoutMusik . [an ebook reader TXT] 📗

my right hand? Was it so much blood from my arm or my leg? Somehow I tasted metal, but how did the blood get into my mouth. Slowly, I drifted away, praying that Remus would be able to live with himself when he found out that he had killed me. This was different. I felt like I wasn’t just unconscious, but I was leaving my body. If this was death, it wasn’t even as bad. Just like a deep ,deep sleep. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

+++

 

 

 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

 

 

What was that sound? 

 

 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

 

 

Did it just speed up? 

 

 

Beep.

 

 

How soft was this, what was I lying on? 

 

 

Beep. Beep.

 

 

It was getting really annoying, why was it so dark?

 

 

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

 

 

There, I figured out how to open my eyes, everything was white in here. No, there were colorful plants next to me. Flowers?

 

Beep. Beep. Beep. 

 

 

My vision became clear, I could see a huge scar on my right arm. A bite from a dog?

 

 

Beep.

 

 

There was a needle in my arm. What was this beeping? Why was there a needle in my arm, I pulled it out then pulled all the other things off me and finally, the beeping stopped. 

Suddenly, the doors opened and a woman dressed in white came running into my room. 

„Oh my goodness, you are awake!“, she said excited, as if I had been sleeping for a long time. She came closer to me and took my hand: „Can you please push against my hand?“

I pushed and she smiled. She did the same with my other hand and my legs. When she lifted my left leg up, the sleeping gown lifted up and I could see another big scar from a dog or wolf?

„Can you speak for me?“, the Nurse asked and got a long stick out. A wand? She whispered ‚Lumos‘ and then shone the light into my eyes. 

„Do you remember anything?“, she asked again, her voice very calm and with a friendly smile on her face. 

One word had imprinted itself in my brain, so I thought that I should say it: „Scar?“

„Very good, but do you remember you first name? Do you know what happened before you woke up here?“

I furrowed my eyebrows when she talked. Her lips were very full and she was a beautiful witch. With red hair.

„Red hair?“

„Yes, I do have red hair. But you, do you know how you look?“

What did I look like? I really tried to remember, but there was nothing. It started to scare me a little, but more important was another question: Who was I and how did I get here? 

„Where am I?“, I asked noticing that I hadn’t spoken as many words in quite a while. I felt like it was a hard workout to even move my hands or legs. 

„You are in the Saint Mungo’s hospital. You were in a very bad accident at your school, a boy named Remus Lupin saved your life. I need you to stay calm now, but I have to give you this information: We have the year 1998.“

 

Thur - 28. April 1998

    

I didn’t really know what I should do with this information and the nurse seemed to realize that I really couldn’t remember anything.

„Okay, Miss Pettegrew. You have two options now: I can regain your memories with a potion, but that might be very hurtful for you, since you have been in a coma. Or you can stay here for some more days without your memories, trying to remember yourself. I would have to inform you about your family though.“„What family?“, I asked and already knew that I had to get my memories back. Who would want to live like this?„I want the potion and a mirror“, I ordered and noticed that I used to be a strong person, not allowing people to push me down. The nurse nodded and then walked out of the door to get me the things I had asked for. Meanwhile, I looked around my room some more. There was something weird about the flowers, and when I took a closer look I could see that one of them wasn’t really a flower but a pink piece of paper. With excitement, I unrolled it and read the lines that were scribbled onto it:  

Dear Scar. I don’t know if you will ever wake up, but I pray everyday that you do. Even if you remember me, you won’t know what happened all these years when you were gone. Just use this spell to see what happened, if you want. Apperi memoria Love, Remus 

 

Remus, when I heard that name again I felt like my heart was beating a little bit faster. I must have really loved that boy. Curious, I whispered the spell and suddenly, I felt like I was being sucked into the paper.  

 

*When I opened my eyes, I looked at a horrible scenario: A girl at the age of about 17 was laying on the grass of a forrest with a werewolf over her. He just ripped a piece of her leg out when she screamed so heartbreaking that I ran towards her to save her from the wolf, even if I got hurt as well. Just then I realized that they couldn’t see or hear me, this was a memory. I stopped and watched as the wolf suddenly whimpered. Her pain seemed to hurt him as well and now I could see that his eyes were somehow human. The girl was in so much pain that she seemed to pass out any second, but the wolf started licking his prey like he wanted to help her. He howled when something unbelievable happened: The werewolf turned into a man again. I still remembered enough to know that this was impossible! A werewolf couldn’t control his changing, but obviously he just had. His love must have been so strong that he broke the curse, probably just for this one night though.  * 

The scene became dark and when I looked around again, I saw that I was back in the hospital, now looking at the girl lying in the bed. The boy was there at her bed, with a blonde girl and two other boys. They all looked devastated, but the boy, Remus I supposed and another boy with dirty blonde hair who looked quite alike her seemed to even have cried, just like the blonde girl. „It has been a year now, Remus. You have to move on, you have to let her go“, the black haired boy said, but the boy with dirty and very baggy clothes instantly responded: „Never. I will wait for her, however long it takes!“„We won’t let you down, Scar! You are a fighter“, the girl whispered and kissed the brunette on the cheek. When I felt a light kiss on my cheek too, I had to admit what I was trying to refuse: That girl in the bed was actually me. 

 

Suddenly, the people were all gone, except from the one with the dark brown hair, who was obviously my boyfriend back then. He had aged some years and looked even worse now. „Lily and James are dead, Scar! Sirius betrayed them. I just can’t believe it. Aya married Fabian, but just days after Fabian and Gideon were killed by Death Eaters. Aya is devastated. Also, I have to tell you, Peter is dead. Your brother was killed by Sirius, they only found a finger. I saw Dalton today, but he says that he was always under the imperius curse of The Dark Lord. I don’t believe him. I just don’t understand how he is living a free live when so many people died! This is so unfair, what do I do? I just CAN’T FIGHT ANYMORE!“The last words he screamed, throwing the vase next to me on the floor. When the nurse came into the room, the scene went black again.  

 

 I was still in the room and again Remus sat next to me on the little chair. 

„I am teaching in Hogwarts now, and I met Harry Potter. He is their son and he is so much like James. You would love that boy, I is so full of life and always get’s himself into trouble. Just like us when we were young, do you remember?  He told me today that he saw Peter Pettegrew on our map. The map doesn’t lie, so he must be alive right? I will check it out, but if he is alive then he is the traitor. And Sirius was innocent all these years. I still don’t believe that the Dark Lord is completely gone, the war isn’t over yet. Only when you return to me, I will be able to find peace."

I could feel that my eyes were filling with water when he leaned over and kissed my cheek. It must have been a horrible time for him. Did he even look at other girls? Or did he just live in the past, with all his friends dead? Maybe it was better for me not to remember them! 

 

It seemed to have been some more years in-between these scenes, but Remus still looked miserable. Just a little sparkle in his eyes showed that he hadn’t just had horrible times. „Sirius, he just died last week. Bellatrix killed him and Dalton almost killed me, but my life was saved by Tonks. When I tried to revenge you, he disappeared like a coward. Voldemort is back, I knew it all along, but now we are prepared. I want to fight him, I want you to fight with me! Please wake up, you are the love of my life!“He got up and left the room and when the door closed, I thought that I got a short glimpse of purple hair of a woman before everything went black again.  

 

I felt like I awoke from a dream when I opened my eyes again, but the nurse still wasn’t back so I just folded the paper and put it into the little bag that was next to my bed. „Here you go, darling. The potion and the mirror“, she said, but her voice was filled with sadness and now I knew why. If I took this potion, I would remember, but I would also remember my friends who were all dead. I didn’t even know if Remus was still alive. With mixed emotions I took the mirror and was shocked when I saw that the girl looked back at me. I hadn’t even aged a year, my body was still the one of a seventeen year old girl. Confused, I looked at the nurse: „How old am I?“ I didn’t want her to know that I knew about Remus’ memories. 

„You were seventeen darling, and because of your horrible injuries we had to freeze your body in time for it to heal. You haven’t aged a day since 1977. So technically, you are 28. Do you need a minute to let that sink in?“

Everything seemed to turn in my head, and the only one I could think about was Remus: he had been aging. Could I even be with him now that he was so much older? Suddenly totally sure, I grabbed the little Glass in the nurses hands and emptied it all. I didn’t want to be a coward and hide from the pain when the love of my life didn’t have the chance to do so. 

„Darling, I still have to tell you about the news, the war, The Dark Lord…“, the nurse said, but her voice was sounding like she was far, far away. My head seemed to fill with air, it was very hurtful. Like it was going to explode, but then suddenly I remembered: Aya, my best friend in the whole world, Remus, Sirius. How I chose between them, how Remus broke my heart. I remembered James, how he tried to get Lily his whole school life. How I laughed with them, played Quidditch and then - Dalton. How I tried to stop him, how Peter gave in, how I thought that I was going to die. „No, Scar! Why would you do this to yourself?“

Confused about this familiar, but still