Dawn, Lisette Kabel [poetry books to read .TXT] 📗

stared into my face with her motherly smile. She knew me to well, she knew I had something lingering in my head. I looked down trying to figure out where should I start, I hope she didn't think I was childish for having these thoughts. "Renesmee you can tell me anything, I promise I won't say a word." She squeezed my leg.

I looked up and said, "I know Esme, that's why I decided I would ask, talk to you only. I just don't know how to put it." Esme tilted her head, brought her hand up and played with my curls, "show me?" I put my palms to her cheek; I flashed the images of me and Jacob when I was baby. All the time spent, the way he looked at me like a sister. Then I showed her images of recently, the way we looked at each other, when he slept in my bed, our first kiss. I showed her the unsure and confused feelings. I showed the insecure look I had about myself with Jacob, after all I didn't think I was beautiful. Jake deserved better then me, he was perfect. I pulled my hand away and bit the bottom of my lip.

"oo hun, your beautiful and you deserve the best" I looked up and smiled.

"Esme, I don't know what to do, I never felt this way for anyone. I don't know if he feels the same way. He can't I'm just his sister, Nessie." I looked away with the burning in my eyes, I felt them swell up. Esme moved in closer and embraced me.

"Nessie, Jacob does care about you, a lot. He's always wanted and wants what's best for you. I'm sure he feels the same way or more." I moved into Esme shoulder and leaned my head, wiping my tears away, I cried out, "What do I do, what should I say?" Esme pulled away from me and lifted my face, "I think you should live your life Renesmee." I looked at her confused, she nudged my face, "I wish my children could have enjoyed their young years before…" she looked away, "I know your aunts…your parents would want you to live your life, don't rush into things and experience what is out there" Esme paused and thought of her words, "what I mean is, Jacob is not your only choice just because he's been there your whole life and that's all you know. He is great and I very much enjoy him, especially since he's the only one that eats my cooking," she chuckled and then got serious, "I'm not saying anything bad of Jacob, but I want what best for my granddaughter." She looked up at me, "What Renesmee wants, follow your heart." She smiled and gave me another hug, "I promise it's our little secret." With that she got up and made her way to the kitchen. I rolled onto the couch, scrunching my legs to my stomach, repeating her words. Live my life. Everyday I have practically spent it with Jacob, he is all I know. Maybe my feelings were generated from spending so much time, are they true feelings. Those three words kept repeating in my head over and over. Finally I got up, "Esme, can you tell Bella I'll be back later." She looked at me with concern and then smiled "Sure Ness, please be careful." I walked over to her giving her a hug "I will thank you." I made my way out the door and followed the new trail I found. I slowed down my pace when I was far away from the house, far from hearing. I pulled my phone out and scrolled down my contact list, I found the name. I just stared at it. What would he think, I can have friends. I wanted to explore, I never had friends, especially a male. I pushed down on his name and put the phone to my ear.

"Renesmee? Hey, I've been waiting for the call," Elijah let out a chuckle. I looked around anxiously and answered, "Is that offer still available?"

He answered immediately, "Of course, where do you want to meet? I can pick you up?" I'm pretty sure I couldn't give him directions to where I was standing and I didn't know of many locations in the city, I hardly visited, all I knew was, "how about that beach?"

"ya sure, I will be there in a few minutes, see you then" he hung up. I quickly mad my way to the beach and found a bench to sit at and tried to look natural. The smell hit me like a boulder. It was a sweet mixed with spice. My throat was burning, I looked to find where that aroma came from. It was him; Elijah made his way to the bench.

"Hey beautiful," he gave me a kiss on the cheek, "ready?" I held my breath and nodded with a smile. Was I able to this with out having him as an appetizer? I try to take a deep breath before getting in the truck. He looked over to me laughing and he smelt himself, "Is their something wrong?" He sniffed at himself again.

"No, no theres nothing wrong," I chuckled, get a grip Nessie, I smiled over to him, "you smell great."

He started the truck, "O you got me worried, you looked at me like either I had a stench or you might want to bite me." He let out another chuckle, only if he knew what I was really thinking before hand, he might not be chuckling. He drove to the city and pulled into a diner. I never went out to eat alone, only with my family. I started to get nervous. He came around and opened my door. I hoped out and we made our way to the front hostess. "Two please," he answered the woman. She stared at him and turned to me, looking at me like I didn't deserve to be there with him. He must have noticed because he put his hand around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. My face fumed with heat, not upsettingly. I have never been treated like this by a man. I liked it. It made me feel special; I gave the hostess a grin to leave off with. We looked over the menus, well at least I was. I could see Elijah peeking above his menu staring at me with a smile.

"You looked confused, do you need help?" he asked me. Umm, I couldn't tell him, by the way I prefer to hunt animals. Maybe I should just order the usual, bacon, that's not a meal. I looked up at him, "No…I should be good," I smiled and continued to skim the menu. Meat, I can't go wrong with that. I put down the menu and so did he. Another waitress made her way over to us, again staring at Elijah, failing to recognize my presence. Elijah didn't even look at the waitress but stared at me, "What would you like beautiful?" I couldn't believe their could be a human man that can be as nice like the men I've been around my whole life. We ordered our food and sat in silence. Eli kept his eyes on me, while I took a look around my surroundings. Watching how other people acted towards each other, maybe I can learn a thing or two.

"So Renesmee, tell me something?" Elijah asked out of no where. He looked at me, thinking of what he wants to hear.

"Well, I like playing the piano…" He giggled at my answer, was that funny. I gave him confused look. He stopped giggling and reached his hand over to my face, "It matches your angelic being." The waitress came over and dropped our food on the table, happy to disrupt the moment. Eli looked up and looked at the waitress in disgust, I chuckled. We ate in silence; he ate in silence, while I moved my food around to look like I ate. He paid for the meal and guided me to outside. We got in his truck and he started to drive. This is what Esme meant, exploring and experiencing. All I knew of was Jacob. He was the man of my dreams and I thought there was nothing better. How could I make that comparison when I have never met anyone else but Jake. I looked at the time, shoot, I did it again. It's not like I hand a curfew, but after some hours, my family tend to get hysterical.

"I need to get home," I blurted out. He looked over, "Ok, I will drive you." He smiled. No, I can't have him drive me. What would my family think but I just can't get dropped off in the trees again, he definitely would think something is up. At this point, I had no choice. I will just quickly exit the car before they can notice. I responded, "Sure." I explain the directions and he continued to drive. We slowly made our way up the drive way. My mind was going a thousand miles in speed. I hope they went hunting or not paying attention. He pulled up and put the car in park. He looked at the massive house, comparing to others. He looked back over to me and before I could stop him, he jumped out to open my door. I jumped out. He grabbed my arm before I could run off, "Thank you for today Renesmee," he smiled with his alluring face, "I hope we can maybe do it again sometime." He was very charming and it was inevitable to enjoy. I looked up, "of course." He moved in and gave his potent kiss on my cheek. Waving bye and walked back in his truck. I was in another land, I was not paying attention to who might have been hearing or watching. All of sudden I heard not only one but two angry people. I didn't even want to turn around. One was growling and the other snarling, it couldn't be no other than the two men of my life, Edward and Jacob. I slowly turned around, embracing for the impact of words. I looked over to Edward who hardly looked upset. Bella hand her hand on his arm, soothing him. Jacob was now pacing back and forth, growling. The trembling in his body was taking over. He was far from upset, he was outraged. I looked at Bella and Edward with confused eyes.

"Nessie, go to your room, I will be up in a minute," Edward gestured me to go.

"NO! Ness, we need to talk," Jacob looked at me. He brown eyes, turning black, his trembling continue to rip through his body. Edward took a step forward and looked at Jake with a revolting look. Why was he looking at him like that, Jake wouldn't hurt me?

Edward responded to my thought, "Unintentionally, go to your room now," he hissed the words to me. Bella came over to me and guided me to upstairs. I could hear Edward tell Jacob, "There will be time to talk Jacob. Right now is not the time. Not with you in this state. You knew this time might come…" and then I couldn't hear anything. Bella closed the door. I put my palm to Bellas face and looked at her confused. Why am I in trouble? Why is Jacob mad? Is Edward mad at me? She put her hand up to my shoulder and we sat on my bed.

"Renesmee, you should have told us about your friend." I looked away embarrassed. I bit my lip and try to stare out the window. I wonder what was happening to Jake. His face was so angry at