did; He knew me too well. He stopped abruptly and turned his big head to stare at me with one of his dark eyes. He examined my face for a second and then turned to a rock. That was my cue to get off so he could change. I got off without looking at him, because I knew that without a doubt if I did, I would cry. He ran in a hurry into the forest to phase. I looked out on the cliff to try to calm myself down. Mom said she had jumped of this very cliff for fun when she was human and ended up almost drowning. Mom said Jake saved her…again. If Mom jumped off now she wouldn’t get hurt. As I thought this over I heard Jacob’s almost silent, anxious footsteps come from behind and felt him sit next to me. With one long warm arm, he put it over my shoulders and pushed me close to him. With the other he held my face so he could read my eyes. Jacob looked at me and said “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I just figured that you wanted your privacy.” I stared at him with wide, confused eyes. Jacob was worried that he had hurt my feelings?? I had been the one who was being rude to him and yet he worried about me. I was speechless. I didn’t deserve Jake as a friend. He was much too good for me. Then I felt warm fingers smooth out my forehead; I had inherited that from Mom as well. “Nessie” Jacob said in a soft voice “What is it?” I shook my head and said “It’s nothing really. I was just thinking of how I didn’t deserve you as a friend.” Jacob stared at me with passionate eyes “Renesmee don’t say that. If there was someone who didn’t deserve something good it would be- I cut him off. “Jake. Could we please stop talking about this?” The pain of knowing that he was always too good for me hurt me so much. I didn’t want to talk about this anymore, one day he was going to imprint and he’d be gone. He would be my best friend still but he would only be half of my best friend. It hurt so bad my breath came out in a huff like id been punched in the stomach. Why did it hurt so much? Was it because he could only give me half of him? Whatever it was I didn’t like thinking of it. He stiffened and said in a quick worried voice “Renesmee are you okay? What happened? Hey why is your face turning blue?” With every word, his voice got higher. I had to find strength to stop him before he went mad. I turned to him and whispered “It’s okay Jake. Just give me a second here.” I took several deep breaths. The pain faded and then I turned to Jake so he could see that I was alright. “See,” I said “Totally okay.” Jacob stared at not really sure I was fine. I sighed then put my hand on his face and thought “Really I’m fine,” and he knew it was true. Then Jacob looked out to the ocean. Abruptly a thought came to me. We were on the cliff, not on the beach on our drift wood. That was odd. Jake only took me to the cliff when he had something important to say, of course telling me why he was always so tired and what he had been hiding from me was important but it seemed to be a simple issue. Why would he bring me here to just tell me? Panic pierced my body then, my face went white. Jake was going to tell me more; he was going to tell me something I didn’t want to know. My heart beat faster; I could hear it loudly now. Jake turned to look at me and said “What’s wrong Nessie?” I didn’t look at him. I just stared at the blue green water and asked in a broken whisper “Jake…what’s going on?” Jake seemed to understand that I’d figured something out. He sighed and said “Renesmee there’s been some...issues in the Makah’s land…” I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I started to gasp little quiet gasps. He didn’t know if he should continue on and hesitated but eventually said “Sam wants to go and check it out for a while…maybe a week or two and…he…he wants me to go, to lead a group with him.” Jacob crouched in front of me to watch my expression; I’m sure he saw nothing but pain. That’s what he had been hiding from me. That’s what he had brought me up here to talk about. Jacob was going to leave. My mind flickered back to the last time he left. He had been gone for 4 months. When he came back he had been tapped up because a vampire had kicked him in the side breaking all his right ribs...again. The whole time he was gone, I was useless. I didn’t want to go to school, I didn’t want to eat. I knew I was causing my family pain but the pain they felt was nothing compared to the pain that I felt when he left. When he left he took half of me with him. I always stayed up at night wondering if he would come back, for there was always a risk of not coming back. I was suddenly furious. Who did Sam think he was? Sam was risking all of their lives! Trying to protect everyone! Why couldn’t he just protect La Push like he was supposed to? Every time he went, he took my Jacob with him! I was so over whelmed with emotions, so caught up in the moment; I didn’t notice that my body was reacting. I was shaking violently and gasping loudly now, no longer trying to hide my emotions. I didn’t feel Jacobs always warm hands catch me as I fell forward. I couldn’t hear what he said; all I could see was the rapid movement of his beautiful lips and his dark eyes with worry in them. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe, but I forced my lips to whisper “Jacob, please...d-d-don’t go...please,” and then the darkness took over.
Chapter Two: Revelation.
When I woke up I heard low murmurs from outside the door. I looked around and saw that I was in my bed. “Just a bad dream,” I thought. I stretched my stiff arms and legs and started to get up when Dad and Mom came in. Dad rushed to my right side and lightly pushed me down on the bed. “Stay in bed love.” Dad’s eyes were furious. “Why?” I said. Mom came to my left and said “It’s going to be okay Renesmee. Jacob will be here in a few minutes,” and threw Dad a stern look. Mom rarely ever did that. “Oh no,” I gasped. “NO!” I cried, slumping toward the floor, my heart aching. Tears ran wildly from my eyes. Dad caught me and had me cradled against his cool chest. He was wiping my eyes, though that didn’t help, as soon as he wiped one away three more came. He murmured in my ear “It’s alright love. Shhh.” My silent tears became sobs. Mom and Dad just sat there patting me and saying sorry. We sat there for who knows how long, letting me cry my frustration and pain out. It felt like eternity but I knew it was just me. I told myself that I had to get a grip of myself, I had to shut up. So I managed to stop the sobbing but for the salty tears, there was no end. I thought my eyes would run dry but they did the exact opposite, they kept coming. Mom held me and Dad held her and I. Dad rocked from side to side like when I was little and had a nightmare; Dad would always sing me a song and rock me to sleep. But right now I didn’t want to sleep, I wanted to find Sam and I wanted to tell him exactly what he was doing. I wanted to make him feel some damn responsibility for what he was doing. Again as I thought of this, the sobs came back. Eventually though, my swollen red eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep. I felt Dad put me under the covers then kiss my head, Mom did the same but whispered in my ear; “It’s going to be alright Renesmee,” and then I heard the whisper of their feet leave me my room and the door being shut quietly. I was asleep but even while I was sleeping I knew the tears didn’t stop, they ran free making my pillow and hair damp. I just kept thinking “No Jacob. Stay with me, please,” but I knew they were in vain. He was going to go, and he was going to leave me. I couldn’t sleep any longer so I opened my eyes. They hurt. I listened to the voices down stairs. Everyone was worried about me. I heard Aunt Rosalie hiss “Who does this dog think he is?! Does he think leaving her again will help anything?” I heard Uncle Emmett pat her shoulder and say “Rose calm down.” Although he told her to calm down he was having a hard time too. She just fumed beside him grumbling about ripping his worthless throat out. “If he thinks he’s going to hurt her again he has another thing coming!” Aunt Alice hissed. “You’re completely right. The dog has crossed the line,” Uncle Jasper answered in angrily. I heard Dad whisper to Mom “He will not hurt her again. I will not let it happen again Bella. I understand you, but he is hurting her. He’s lucky I don’t go and find him… now.” When Dad said the last word he sounded so furious words couldn’t describe it. Grandma Esme wasn’t mad but she was worried. “Well she be alright Alice?” Grandma Esme whispered urgently to Aunt Alice. Alice said nothing and so she turned to Grandpa Carlisle to say “Carlisle have you checked on her? Is she alright?” Grandpa Carlisle sighed and said “Yes Esme. She’s fine. She just has a lot on her mind. She’ll come down when she wants too.” Mom and Grandpa Carlisle were the only calm ones. Mom kept telling Dad to calm down. She kept saying it was going to be alright. I suddenly felt very irritated. She kept saying it was going to be alright when nothing was going to be alright! Jacob could possibly not come back! I heard Dad get up and walk up the stairs, towards my room. He must have heard my thoughts. He opened the door, and left it open because Mom was coming as well, and came and sat on my right side once again.
By the time he sat down next to me, Mom was closing the door. Then she was beside me. I looked at them both. Mom, calm yet upset, Dad, furious and pained. I didn’t notice that I was crying again until Dad and Mom wiped my eyes. Dad looked me in the eyes and said “Love Jacob is coming here now. He wants to see you, but if you do not wish to see him then it’s perfectly fine. No one will give you a hard time,” and looked at Mom, raising his right brow daring her to disagree. Mom sighed and patted my cheek and said “Renesmee, if you don’t want to see him than that’s fine. But I know it will hurt you more not seeing him go.” I stared at her, gaping. He was leaving today. I couldn’t breathe again. I started gasping again. My head spun. Everything was going wrong. Not only
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