The War From Within, James Anthony Love [e textbook reader .txt] 📗

twenty three.

The layout of the building was the same as mine so I knew that her apartment would be on the second floor. As I walked up the stairs I started to have doubts in my mind. I had not talked to Miss Nikki in almost three years, even then it was a brief exchanged that I doubted she had held on to like me. I doubted that she would even remember who I was and that was if she opened the door, there was no guarantee that she would. I started to turn around but the urge to find out the unknown keep me moving forward.
As I step onto the second floor another thought came to my mind, what was I going to do if she did answer the door. In the back of my mind I knew what I wanted to do, but as much as I fantasized, I also knew the reality of the situation. The reality was that I knew the odds of Miss Nikki looking at me the same way as I looked at her were slimmed to none. So being rational with myself, I thought that if I could just see her again, smell her scent, and maybe feel her touch, then I would have something to hold on to when I fantasized about her. If I could receive that much I knew that would be happy.
When I reached the door of her apartment, the cold that I had felt outside was replaced by an intense heat and the hallway did not contain a heater. As I inched closer to the door my heart began to pound and the inside of my palms became sweaty. I was not nervous, okay only a little, but I was more anxious than any thing else. I still felt like it was meant for us to meet that night.
When I went to knock on the door and my arm froze in midair. I tried to knock but nothing happen, it was like my brain and my arm had lost communication. My arm was stuck in the air waiting to receive the command to proceed. After calming myself down again, my brain finally gave my arm the clearance to continue. I gave the door two strong knocks and stepped back so that she would be able to see my face through the peephole.
“Who is it?” Miss Nikki yelled from the other side of the door.
I reluctantly said my name praying and hoping that she would remember.
She remained silent on the other side of the door like she was trying to figure out if she had heard my name before. Her silence demoralized my spirit.
Still, I quickly told her my name again and added, “I’m Emma’s son remember I met you at Mr. Pearson’s store?
Though she did not respond, I heard the sound of her unlocking the locks to her doors. This lifted my spirits again, because she had to remember me if she was opening her door. You did not open the doors for strangers, young or old, in the Hall.
“Damn boy I thought that you were the police or something. What you looking for?”
Her question and her beauty stunned me, I had no idea what she meant when she asked me what I was looking for and I was not expecting her to ask a question like that right when she first opened the door. Still if I had an answer I would not have been able to verbalize in words. Her beauty had me entranced. I could not take my eyes off of her body.
She stood in front of me, half naked, with a nightgown on that stopped right at the tip of her knee, exposing just a hint of her thighs. My eyes danced down her silky golden legs onto her petite feet and back up again. I then saw that the nightgown’s strap had fallen down to her shoulders, exposing just a part of her anatomy that I had only seen in the magazines that I read. This caused my blood to begin to rush and my heart to beat wildly against my chest, like it was trying to break free from its cage.
I tried to maintain what little composure that I had left.
“Well?” She asked again, placing her right hand on her hips, like she was signaling that I was about to run out of time if I did not make up my mind soon.
“It’s my birthday,” was all that I could say. I felt stupid the instant the words left my tongue.
However, she smiled and seductively brush backed her curly brown hair away from her face. I had never seen a more beautiful sight. I admired her freckles for the first time in person since I lasted saw them back at Mr. Pearson’s store. I noticed her lips for the first time, they too were beautiful. They were full but not to large, like mine, she did not have on any lipstick and she did not need any either. The shade of her lips was more enchanting than any color of lipstick that man could provide.
She looked at me with her slanted eyes and said, “It’s your birthday huh?”
I nodded my head
“So what you got?” she asked
Again I was lost, because I did not have a clue about what she was talking about.
“I don’t have anything.” I replied hoping that I didn’t sound too pathetic.
She frown up her face and placed her right hand on the door, like she was about to close it. She opened her mouth to speak to me but I, feeling that I would not like what she had to say, spoke before she could.
“You told me to come and see you when I got older. Remember? That‘s why I‘m here.”
This caused her to laugh, a sweet laugh, not a degrading one.
“That’s right I did, didn’t I. So tell me how old you are now.” She said in a voice like she was truly dying to know.
For some reason I thought about lying, but I was sure that she could count. So I told her that I had just turned eleven.
“You are still young… but damn you don’t look it. If I had to guess I would say that you were about sixteen.” she stated in disbelief, looking at me up and down.
“So you want Miss Nikki to show you a good time on you birthday.”
As she asked the question she ran her index finger across her bottom lip.
With my hormones at full attention I quickly replied, “Yes ma’am I do.”
A look of uncertainty came over her face as she said, “I don’t know you are still young…” I silently cursed my age as she stare at me with apprehension.
However, before I could come up wit a decent rebuttal she continued, “…but you are fine and you definitely don’t look your age.”
No one had ever called me fine before, this was both pleasing and unbelievable at the same time. I prayed that she would not send me packing.
I was waiting for her to tell me that I was indeed too young and that I needed to go home. But instead she said, “Forget it, let’s see what you got.” She then moved out of the doorway letting me into her home.
For a minute I thought that I was dreaming. I just stood there waiting to wake up. When I did not, I figured that it was really happening and my fantasy was finally going to come true.
What I did not understand was why I part of me did not want to go into that house. I knew that this was what I wanted because I was tired of just imagining it, I wanted the real thing. The real thing was standing right if front of me, and I was hesitant. Mistakenly, I chalked it up to the fact that I was nervous and I told myself that I would be a fool to turn down the invitation into her home, when in all essence I was foolish for accepting.

As I entered her apartment, I looked around and felt like I had just entered some kind of warp zone. The inside of her apartment in no way matched the outside. She had a huge television that sat in the corner of her living room. Any television was huge compare to the old black and white thirteen inch that sat in my living room, but this one looked as big as a movie screen.
She had a complete living room set including a pearl white leather couch and loveseat, two glass table, both were trimmed with gold, and two pearl white lamps. We had none of those things inside of my apartment. Only pieces of furniture that we own were a discarded couch and a second hand sofa chair. Other than that, the television, and a few rags we called clothes one would have thought that our apartment was vacant.
On the wall she had a large painting of the outline of a woman’s body. I wondered if it was a portrait of her because she shared the same curves as the outline woman in the painting. Other painting and pictures adorned her wall, but I was held captive by the outline woman.
I was in awe of her apartment and of the fact that none of her things had been stolen. As I admired her apartment she took my coat off and hung it in the closet behind the front door. I walked over to the leather couch to take a seat. I had never sat on leather before. However, before I could she called out my name and shook her head no.
“We are going to the bed room, ain’t nothing over there that you need to see.” She said as she walked seductively to her bedroom. Bidding me to come with her fingers
Her walked alone allured me into following her without any complaint. I stood up and walked towards her direction. I still could not believe that I was really inside of her house and walking to her bedroom. All of the ill feelings that I had experiences at the door were long gone lust had clouded my mind and my judgment. I was in the enemy’s territory.
As I walked to her I tried to remember all of the things that I had saw in that dirty magazine, all of the things that I had imagined doing to her if I got the chance. My mind drew a blank and immediately fear began engulfed my body, now that I had the chance I did not have a clue what I was supposed to do. My imagination and pictures was one thing but not this was the real thing. I started to panic as I entered the room. I did not want to be embarrassed, but I had no choice but to inform her of my inexperience.
“I…um…have never…um….done this…” the words were stuck in my throat. “I never did it before.” I said finally getting it out.
She smiled and said, “I know baby, come here and let Miss Nikki take care of you.”
She went to her bed and patted her hand on a spot next to her. Timidly I went over to her, still not believing that this was happening. I still thought that I might have been dreaming but the sensation of Miss Nikki’s lips pressing against mine told me that it was really happening.
She kissed me gently as she slid her hand down to the seat of my pants. I moaned as she caressed, what was yet to become,