The Ten Pleasures of Marriage<br />and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married Couple, A. Marsh [great book club books .txt] 📗
- Author: A. Marsh
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Happy are you, O Father of the Family, who without the least thoughts of Lycurgus, have made so good a choice and have gotten a Wife that is beautifull, rich, good natured, and vertuous; you learnt first to know her well, that you might the better woe her, and so be happy in marriage. Make this your example, O all you foolish and wandring Lovers, who are so desirous to tast of the Pleasures and sweetness of marriage; and are somtimes so disquieted and troubled till you cast your selves upon an insulting, domineering Wife, who perhaps hath the Breeches already on, and will vex you with all the torments imaginable in the World. Do but use these few remedies for your squandered brains, and be assured they will bring you to have good fortune and tranquility.
Search not after great Riches, but for one of your own degree; for the Rich are insulting, self-conceited, and proud.
Admire no outward beauty; because they are proud of their beauty, and imagine themselves to be Goddesses, whom their husbands ought to obey.
Shun those who are much lesser then your self: For when a mean one finds her self promoted by a great Match, she is much prouder and self-conceited then one of a good extraction; and will much sooner than another indeavour to domineer over her husband.
Dissemble not in your wooing. For dissimulation deceives its own Master.
Be not too hasty. For a thing of importance must be long and prudently considered of, before a final conclusion can be made.
Follow the advice of understanding friends. For to be wise, and in love, was not given to the Gods themselves.
Chuse no Country wench: For she'l want a whole years learning, before she'l know how to shine upon a house or Office, and two years to learn to make a cursie.
If you marry, arm your self with patience. For he that hath the yoke of marriage upon his shoulders, must patiently suffer and indure all the disquiets and troubles that that estate is subject to.
If these things be observed by you innocent and wandring Lovers, they will much assist you in your choice, but not preserve you from being a slave; because the Gentlewoman whom you have chosen, hath till this time be past, had one or other ill condition, which she knew how to hide and dissemble with, that you never so much as thought of, or expected from her. Cornelius Agrippa knew this in his daies, when he said, men must have and keep their wives, e'en as it chanceth; if they be (saies he) merry humored, if they be foolish, if they be unmannerly, if they be proud, if they be sluttish, if they be ugly, if they be dishonest, or whatsoever vice she is guilty of, that will be perceived after the wedding, but never amended. Be therefore very vigilant, you wandring Lovers, and sell not your liberty at so low a price, which cannot be redeemed again with a whole Sea of repentances.
And you, O silent Gentlewomen, methinks you long to know whether there be no remedies for you to be had, that you may also be as well arm'd against the rigid natured, subtle and dissembling Lovers, as well as they have against the vitious Gentlewomen; take notice, that since you have subjected your selves to that foolish fashion of these times, never of your selves to go a wooing; but with patience will expect who will come for you, that rule must be first observed, and regard taken of him that cometh, then it is the time to consider, principally.
Whether he loveth you for your mony, or for your beauty.
Inquire whether he have a good method, or way, for the maintaining of a Family. For if he have not that to build upon, the whole foundation will tumble.
Search also whether he be of an honest, rather then great extraction. For Vertue is the greatest Gentility.
Inquire also whether he be a frequenter of Alehouses; especially of such as are of an evill reput.
To be a lover of such houses,
Makes him to think of other Spouses.
If he be covetous of honour, he hath several other Vertues.
Hate a Gamester like the Plague; for they are consumers of all; nay their very gain is loss.
Abhor a person of no imploy, or gadder along the streets; for they are fit for nothing.
If you marry, shew all honour, respect, and love to your husband. Indeavour not to Lordize over him; because that, both by Heaven and nature is given unto him.
In so doing, you will have, as well as our new-married Couple, the expectation of a happy match; which though it falls out well, yet is subject to severall accidental corruptions; as you will perceive in the further Confession of the insuing Pleasures, even as if they were a Looking-glass.
The Seventh Pleasure. The bad times teaches the new married Couple. Makes them brave housekeepers. They take in Lodgers, and give good examples to their Children.It was formerly very pleasant living, when Trading and Merchandizing flourished so nobly, that every evening people were fain to carry a whole drawer full of mony out of the Counter in to the Counting-house; and then the good woman had alwaies two or three hours work to sort it, before they could so much as think of going to bed: but it seems that destructive War, as being a scourge from Heaven, for our dissatisfied Spirits; hath so lamentably humbled the Land of our Nativity, that there are very few who have not now just causes enough to complain.
And you, O young people, shall be witnesses hereof, who have already, in that short time that you have been married, experience that things do not alwaies run upon wheels so merrily as was expected. 'Tis true you possess the Pleasure of an indifferent Trade, as well as the rest of your Neighbours; but it is not in any measure to be compared with those golden daies that your Ancestors had, when they could lay up so much wealth, and yet complained they had but little custom.
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Published by The Navarre Society, London.
Verily, when I rightly consider it, methinks you are happier then they were. For at that time all their delight was, by a covetous frugality, to reap much riches together, and though that hapned very well, yet there was never enough; for mony is no impediment to a covetous soul because it alwaies yearns for more. But now on the contrary, it is esteemed to be very nobly done, and people take an absolute delight in it, if they can but tell how to scrape so much together, that they may keep the Dunners from their dores, bring up their children indifferently well, and pay the taxations and impositions that are imposed upon them. In good truth, they that can do this now, are worthy of as much credit and reputation, as those were that prospered much in former daies; and their Pleasure ought not to be lesser then the others before was.
O happy Successors, who through the contentment of your minds, possess now as great Pleasure, as your rich Parents formerly did, in their plentifull daies. Verily, your gain is comparatively better then theirs, because you are satisfied with so much less; and by consequence when the hour of death approaches, you can so much the easier depart from this World, by reason you shall not leave so many knives behind you that may cut your childrens throats.
Therefore if your Trading should come to diminish more; and that you can hardly tell how to keep both ends together; then comfort your selves with this happiness; to the end that the Pleasures of your marriage, may thereby not be eclipsed. For in bad times you must as diligently search after the Pleasures of Marriage, as for gain and good Trading.
But it seems, as you imagine, that this Pleasure rather decreases then increases; because that the small trading, is accompanied with bad paiment; and where ever you run or go to dun, you find no body at home, but return back to your house with empty pockets. For there is Master Highmind, and Squire Spightfull, who come every day in their Velvet Coats to the Change, are not in the least ashamed that the Goods, which they bought to be paid ready down, after the expiration of a full year, are not yet paid. And Master Negligent, who is alwaies in an Alehouse, and seldom
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