The Easy Way to Handle Anxiety, Johnny Montoya [the chimp paradox TXT] 📗

run in the background automatically, freeing us and allowing us to get on with our lives.

 

But sometimes, either as a rash, defensive response, or a misguided belief, we end up forming unhelpful, even destructive habits. And then we get comfortable with them. It's like putting your hand in boiling water again and again for no reason other than you're used to it. Which is obviously ridiculous.

 

However, you can consciously begin to override and replace habits at any time. This means that you're in control. I want you to quit looking for negative things to preoccupy you. They're not necessary, they're not helping you, and it's just a destructive habit which is going against what you really want. Stop it!

 

There's always a better way of viewing things. There's always a smarter way of handling them. And there's always something to learn from any situation. And that's what you should redirect your mental effort into. Be a detective, always on the lookout for positivity.

 

Yes this means that you have to consciously step in and fix your perspective, and yes it will take a while. But it's worth it, because when your new habits kick in, they'll benefit you without you having to think about them much.

 

Almost anything can be given either a positive or negative emphasis, and then that becomes the “theme” of it. Don't worry about things that you have little or no influence over, and use your choice of focus to create positive memories. It's important to build good asociations between yourself and your experiences. Forget about negatives. A negative experience can't haunt you if you can't remember the negativity in it.

You have the power to weaken anxiety with humour

Whatever you do, don't turn into one of those people who can't laugh at themselves. I know, it's not easy to see the funny side sometimes, but humour is so powerful. You've got to have a sense of humour about it. Being oversensitive about your hangups is only going to give them power and make you take them more seriously than they deserve. Don't take it seriously. Joke about it, disarm it, be flippant. Don't give it any respect.

 

I don't like it when people talk about anxiety being a disorder. It sounds so ridiculous. I mean, come on, let's face it, anxiety is a silly habit that has gotten a bit out of hand. Treat it like the ludicrous baloney that it is. Letting it control you is like letting yourself get robbed by a clown with a water pistol.

 

If people make fun of you, don't get too uptight. Learn to be OK with it, and join in. Lighten up, make fun of yourself, and embrace your role as the weird one in the group (until you sort yourself out, that is. Then you'll be the strong one that people look up to). Remember that sometimes when people make fun of others, it's because they're trying to create comfort, mainly for themselves, but also for you. Think of it as an invitation to reassure them (and yourself) that it's not some taboo thing that must never be mentioned. If there's anyone you know who isn't aware that you have anxiety, tell them, casually. See how they respond. Then mention it again from time to time so they get used to it.

 

I know it might be hard to handle and you might feel belittled and insecure, but just deal with it. Trust me, I used to be uptight, but when I decided to let go, it was surprisingly easy. And it has done me a lot of good. It will take some getting used to but it's worth it. Think of it as the anxiety being belittled rather than you. That will give you a lot of perspective.

You're lucky to have anxiety

What a strange thing to say. But it's true. I don't mean that it's fun to have it. I mean that there's something to be gained from it. Maybe it's not the nicest way to gain something, but still.

 

People who have experience of both anxiety and confidence are in an advantageous position because they can fully appreciate and value confidence more than most. Plus they're better able to handle anxiety if it occurs again. Right now you're at one end of the spectrum. Think of what you'll be like when you reach the other end.

 

We have a natural tendency to laugh at slapstick. This is because we feel empathy and relief at the fact that we're not the one slipping on the banana. Today you're the butt of the joke, but as you make progress and gain control over this thing, it will bring you closer to the day when you can finally relax completely.

 

Often people's worst enemy is themselves. The funny thing is that usually it's something harmless that holds them back. If you can regain control and conquer your internal issues, what would that say about you? A lot of good stuff, that's what. It may not look like it now, but once you've done it, you'll be rewarded with pride, confidence and inner strength. And I'll tell you a secret: You'll get that even as you progress.

 

Anxiety is a test of your fortitude. Think of all the things you'll be able to handle and achieve in life once you understand what you're capable of. Not only that, but you'll be able to influence, encourage and motivate others with anxiety, and that will make you feel even better. That's a lot of good to look forward to, and there's a lot to learn along the way.

 

How do you feel after reading that? Do you feel any resistance? Do you think I'm being naive? Well, those are the beliefs that I choose to have. If they didn't work I'd choose different ones. The word here is choice. You're in control. What would life be like if they worked for you? Do you want to find out?

 

The truth is that you'll most probably spend more time being anxious and worrying about having panic attacks, than actually having them. Anxiety is like stage fright. You build up fear (that's a choice) over something that most likely won't happen. And even if it does, you still have the...drumroll...CHOICE!... to minimise it, and gradually tone it down.

 

At the time of writing this I believe I've only actually had about 7 or 8 panic attacks, in over a decade. Not all of them were that bad. In fact, while I was having one of them, I was laughing inside because it was happening in such a classic, textbook, predictable way, and I was thinking “Come on, you can do better than that. Be original!” Panic is just a load of old nonsense. It's like walking around in a personal thunderstorm while the rest of the world is in sunshine. I've spent far more time being anxious about panicking, than panicking. Ugh! What a waste of time!

 

Don't forget that beliefs support and strengthen each other. They also generate other beliefs that will come as a pleasant surprise. Enjoy the journey. It will be challenging, I know. But it's doable, and you're going to do it. I want you to adopt my beliefs as your own. They're yours if you want them.

 

The negative beliefs that you have now are like an old boys club, with their tired ideas that hold you back. But now we've got some new boys in town, and it's up to you to find ways to let them muscle in, shove the old boys aside, and take over.

 

I felt that it was important to start this by getting our beliefs in order, but now let's turn to the topic of anxiety itself.

 

What is it?

Summary

* There's always a way for you to deal with anxiety.

 

* Change is inevitable, so you may aswell steer yourself in the right direction, rather than going where the wind blows you.

 

* You have the ability to create a Safe Zone, which is any place or situation where you feel safe. It's also a mindset that you take with you wherever you go.

 

* Use rituals (words or a sequence of actions) to associate your Safe Zone with positive emotions.

 

* You are free to focus on the positive.

 

* When new beliefs and habits kick in, they'll start to benefit you without you having to think too much about it.

* The malleable nature of beliefs puts you in control, allowing you to quash anxiety with a new philosophy.

 

* You have the power to disarm anxiety by laughing at yourself, and letting others laugh at you.

 

* You're lucky to have anxiety!

 

* When you finally learn to handle this, you'll fully appreciate and value confidence more than most.

 

* Use your anxiety to learn about yourself, and to develop some pride, confidence and fortitude.

 

* Beliefs support and strengthen each other, and generate other beliefs that will come as a nice surprise.

 

* Always be on the lookout for evidence supporting your new beliefs.

 

* Your new beliefs are ready to take over!

Chapter 2: What Is Anxiety?

Having