The Easy Way to Handle Anxiety, Johnny Montoya [the chimp paradox TXT] 📗

Your computer & devices

Create a folder on your computer desktop and give it a name. If you don't want people to know about it, give it a boring name that no one will be interested in, or hide it inside another folder on your desktop. Or both. The important thing is that it's easy to find. Whatever devices you have, put them to good use too. We're going to ensure that we're always armed with resources that we can turn to.

 

Now spend a couple of hours on the internet, as well as looking through the stuff you already have on your computer, and collect links or files for your computer and all your devices. I'm talking about things like:

 

* Music: Anything uplifting or relaxing. Classical, Jazz, Gospel, Funk, songs with positive lyrics and themes. Whatever does it for you.

 

* Radio stations that play similar music. And talk radio stations.

 

* Other audio to put you in a nice mood – i.e. meditation, hypnosis.

 

* Books: There are a ton of books out there to download, and it's not hard to find free ones. Create a little library of helpful books to turn to, and to keep you occupied. Hopefully you'll include this one!

 

* Audiobooks: Same thing. Especially helpful if you have other things that you want to focus on. Very useful if you're driving, for example.

 

* Videos: Comedy, people talking about how they overcame anxiety, inspirational stories, movies, documentaries, motivational speeches, whatever makes you feel positive.

 

* Games: For those times when you just need to keep your mind busy for a while.

 

* Websites: Blogs, forums, specific articles. There's a ton of information out there. You may as well have quick and easy access to the most helpful stuff.

 

* Record a pep talk: Write down the most reassuring things that you could possibly say to yourself if you're feeling anxious, and record yourself saying them, to yourself. Now you have something very personalised to listen to. And the fact that it's you talking will give you confidence, morale and faith in yourself.

 

Easy! And so useful. It can really make all the difference. It works for me and I bet it will work for you too. Now organise everything so that you can find whatever you need fast.

 

You might also want to include travel information, timetables and street maps, for those times when you need to get from A to B without getting flustered.

 

If you feel anxious or have a panic attack, whether at home or out and about, you're better off prepared. The idea here is to equip you with whatever you feel will help you get through it. It's all about preparation, and more importantly, peace of mind, which is pretty much the opposite of anxiety, right?

 

Often you won't even need any of this stuff, but the feeling of security that it gives you will help you be more confident.

 

If there are any specific places that you regularly go to, you can easily put some items there too. I'm talking about where you work, your relatives' and friends' houses (if they'll let you), your car, and anywhere else.

 

It might seem a bit over the top to go through all this, but hey, you just have to do what works. I've done much of this myself and it works, so hopefully it will help you too.

 

It won't take long to implement all this stuff. Get it all done, then forget about it. Just be sure to top up on things like mints and water. If you absolutely must keep checking that you have everything, do it repeatedly until you get sick of checking. Get it out of your system.

 

And don't worry about any of this stuff looking weird to other people. There's not really much to notice. But it will make a difference to you, and that's what's important. In fact, if they notice and you tell them exactly why you've done it, they might just think you're pretty cool for going to such lengths to solve a problem.

Summary

* Keep a stash of items at home, in your pocket or jacket, and in a bumbag, that you feel will aid you in times of anxiety. Don't forget to stock up on them.

 

* Don't be too quick to use them and don't become too dependent on them. Use them mainly for reassurance.

 

* Keep some cash in your corridor. Enough so that if you ever need a cab home, you can pop in and pay for it if you don't have enough cash on you.

 

* Carry a pen and small notebook with your details on it, and some helpful affirmations.

 

* Always have plenty of cash in your wallet.

 

* If you feel the need to keep checking that you have everything, do it loads of times and get it out of your system.

 

* Keep your bumbag in your corridor, where you can clearly see it and grab it on your way out if you need to.

 

* If you can, keep a few things at your workplace and other places where you go to regularly.

 

* Collect useful files and links, such as songs, radio stations, meditation and hypnosis, books and audiobooks, videos, games, blogs, forums, articles, and travel information. Keep them somewhere easily accessible on your computer and devices.

 

* All this can be done in just a couple of days. Then you can just forget about it and relax.

Chapter 5: Out And About

Having a “safe” home is great for peace of mind. However, it's important to feel safe wherever you go. But having anxiety often involves a fear of certain places and situations. Some people develop only mild agoraphobia, while others become almost housebound. I know what it's like to be a certain distance away from home, worrying about all the mental effort and logistics required to get my ass back to safety.

 

But like I said at the beginning, there's always a way for you to deal with your anxiety. I don't care how bad it is for you, we're going to get you out that door.

 

We're not going to deal with longer journeys just yet. That will be covered in chapter 7. Here we're going to talk about getting out and about locally, either when you have errands to do, or just for its own sake.

Connect with the outside world

Let's start with something easy that anyone can do. I want you to get into the habit of keeping windows open. The sights, sounds, air and temperature will keep you connected with the outside world, and blur the line between “in here” and “out there”. If you have a garden or balcony, spend loads of time there. Anything that you usually do indoors that can be moved outside, do it. Even watching travel programmes, flicking through holiday brochures and looking at maps are good ways to stay connected.

 

Make it a policy of popping outside every single day, at least once. Think up some reasons to do so. If you can't think of any, then just pop out anyway, even for 5 or 10 minutes. A short walk to the shops will do.

 

Get in the habit of going for walks. Round the block, or to the end of the street and back. No one's looking, no one cares. If you're nervous around many people, pick a less busy time. Walk the same route repeatedly to create familiarity.

 

Night walking. I've done this myself a lot and it's nice. Try it. Apart from maybe a couple of people here and there, and a bit of traffic, it almost feels like the streets are all yours. I find it very liberating. If early mornings suit you better, do it. The point is to have a tranquil experience of being outdoors.

 

Day or night, just pick a time, and get out there.

 

If you have difficulty, try timing yourself. Venture out for 2 and a half minutes, then walk back, calm in the knowledge that it's only going to take you another 2 and a half minutes. Surely you can handle that? Gradually extend the time and see how far you can take it. Or you can listen to music and head back after a certain number of songs. The more time you spend out there, the less intimidating it will become. Don't forget to take your bumbag and water bottle with you.

Make it easy to manage

Lower the bar as far as you need to, and start there. Replace excuses with ways to make it as easy for yourself as possible. If it helps, wear loose fitting clothes with soothing colours like blue or green. If you can only make it a couple of minutes down the street, that's fine. It's a start. Just start walking, and if you feel a bit weird, make a mental