The Easy Way to Handle Anxiety, Johnny Montoya [the chimp paradox TXT] 📗

and of course, to get back home. Keep your money in a super safe place, where you can feel it, so you don't have to constantly keep checking that it's still there.

 

Sit as close to a window and the exit as possible. Open a window. Try to sit next to or close to someone who looks friendly. If things get tricky, and if you can do it, strike up a conversation with them. In fact, when you sit down next to them, think of something brief to say (i.e. “Is this bus going to…?”). Anything. Just break the ice and establish lines of communication that you can use later if necessary.

 

Keep your mind mildly and pleasantly occupied. Pay attention to the sensation and texture of your seat. Observe people, listen to conversations, watch people get on and off, look out the window and watch the world go by.

 

Listen to music or a talk radio show and get into it. Take something to read, or a word game or something that requires thinking. Why not take a bag and put a few things in it, to give you something to fidget with.

 

Try to find out or estimate the length of the journey. Then set a timer and remind yourself that with every second you're getting closer to the end. Split the journey into phases, and count down as they progress. Don't think in terms of distance, but more in terms of the phases that you create. For example, certain landmarks (shops, streets, crossing a river). This will make you feel in control because you're segmenting the journey on your terms. If you start to get a bit anxious, check how long is left and reassure yourself that time is ticking and you will get there.

 

Same applies on your way back, but of course you'll be feeling better by then anyway, so it will be considerably easier. That's always the way. Your main challenge is the outbound journey, and as we've just seen, it's not so bad.

Driving

The good thing about driving is that you're in control of many things. So make the most of it.

 

Always have a snack and a water bottle in the car. Take your bumbag and keep it next to you and open it. To stay fresh and alert, get an air freshener, open your windows and turn on the air con. Keep a spray water bottle so you can spray yourself to stay extra cool if necessary.

 

Listen to inspiring music or an audio book as you drive, to keep your mind positive and occupied. Count things, such as how many cars of a certain colour you see. Read number plates and make words from the letters. Watch other drivers and passengers. The road is full of stuff to keep you engaged.

 

 

Have the phone number of a rescue service handy, and make sure your phone is fully charged. Use a map or navigation system, plot all your regular routes, and you won't have to think too much. Make a mental note of places where you can park, in case you need to step out.

 

Try to avoid areas where there's heavy traffic. Make it easy on yourself.

 

Split your journey into short, manageable phases. Drive for 5 minutes, then park somewhere and relax. Or drive as far out as possible until you start feeling uncomfortable. Then turn back until you feel fine. Park and relax.

 

Train yourself to believe that while you're in your car, next to it, or you can see it, it's just like being at home. See your car and the area surrounding it as an extension of your home. Part of your Safe Zone. Go somewhere, park, and walk away. As long as you can see your car, you're OK.

 

Remember, you're always in control, and you can go home any time you like. As your confidence increases, try gradually letting go of these safeguards.

Being a passenger while someone else is driving

If someone is driving you, and you trust them, you can have almost as much control as you would if you were driving yourself. Just be sure to let them know about your anxiety so that they can accommodate and help you.

 

First of all, have your bumbag and water bottle as usual. Maybe a snack too if it's a long journey. Let them know that you need the air con on, and the window open, at least partially.

 

Tell them in advance that you might need them to stop occasionally to let you step out, compose yourself if necessary, and have a good stretch. If this happens, be calm about it, do your thing, and notice how it changes your frame of mind very quickly.

 

If you have your own music listen to that, but if you don't, ask them to let you have control over the radio. Be sure that they have no problem with this. Put on some classical or jazz and let yourself get into it. Let it fill the silences and keep you pleasantly distracted. Watch the world go by out of your window and keep your thoughts on pleasant, neutral things.

 

Keep a couple of interesting or funny conversation topics in mind, and use them to keep your driver talking. You'll have something to focus on, they'll be distracted, and you won't feel self conscious.

 

Being driven by a friend should be easy to deal with. However, if your journey is in a cab, the downside is that there won't be much of a personal vibe. On the other hand, you will most certainly have every right to ask to be accommodated, since you're paying.

 

I started this chapter by talking about practise journeys because no matter what else you do, it's so important to keep gently challenging yourself. When it comes to making necessary journeys, you really don't want to be unprepared and out of touch.

 

Now, what's the furthest that you've recently travelled away from your front door before you started to feel uncomfortable? It's totally understandable that the further away you are from home, the more likely you are to become susceptible to anxiety and panic. Or is it? The truth is that there comes a point where you know you're so far away that the distance no longer makes any difference.

 

When you feel ready, I'd like you to walk or drive as far as you can. When you start feeling weird, just stop exactly where you are. Stay there until you either feel perfectly fine, or you feel like heading back. If you feel fine, keep going and do the same again. Otherwise, calmly turn back, but stop along the way and see how you feel. If you feel fine, head back out, if not, go home. Just give yourself every chance to stretch yourself. Then try it with public transport. If you can reach that point where you're too far away to care about the distance, that's a big achievement.

Summary

* Keep challenging yourself by doing practise journeys.

 

* Make sure you always have enough cash to get you to and from your destination.

 

* When using public transport, sit close to a window and the exit, and open a window.

 

* Try to sit next to or close to someone who looks friendly.

 

* Keep your mind mildly and pleasantly occupied with music and / or a book, and your surroundings.

 

* Set a timer and split the journey into phases, and use landmarks to measure your progress.

 

* When driving, get an air freshener, turn on the air con, and keep a snack, water bottle, spray bottle and bumbag next to you.

 

* Keep your mind occupied by observing your surroundings and listening to inspiring music or an audio book.

 

* Use a map or navigation system, plot all your regular routes, and make a note of places where you can park.

 

* Try to avoid areas where there's heavy traffic. Make it easy on yourself.

 

* Split your journey into short, manageable phases.

 

* Train yourself to believe that while you're in your car, next to it, or you can see it, it's just like being at home.

 

* If someone is driving you, tell them about your anxiety.

 

* Let them know that you might need them to stop from time to time.

 

* Ask them to give you control of the radio, or bring your own music. Choose classical or jazz to relax you.

 

* Watch the world go by out of your window and keep your thoughts on pleasant, neutral things.

 

* Keep a couple of interesting or funny conversation topics in mind in case you feel the need to avoid silences.

 

* As your confidence increases, try gradually letting go of these safeguards.

Chapter 8: Meeting People

If you're invited to a restaurant, bar, event, party, or any other kind of social gathering, understandably it can be a bit scary. You're far from home, possibly somewhere completely new. A bunch of people (some you know, others you don't) expect you to be confident and chatty. If you end up having to scurry away you'll let everyone down, you'll feel stupid, and you'll be talked about all night