The Easy Way to Handle Anxiety, Johnny Montoya [the chimp paradox TXT] 📗

phone volume to medium, so if they call you won't become jumpy and nervous.

 

Come up with an excuse for cutting their visit short, and let them know in advance that they might not be able to stay beyond a certain time. Having a way out will give you peace of mind.

 

Think of interesting conversation topics to get into as soon as they arrive. Prepare something to show them. Check what's going to be on TV. If you have a pet, have them around. The idea is to divert some of their attention away from you. Less pressure.

 

Get into a relaxed but alert mindset. Have a shower or splash water on your face. Do some light exercise for 5 minutes. Pop outside briefly and walk around.

 

You might get hungry while they're there. If you find it hard to eat in front of others, eat something tasty and filling, and finish it one hour before they arrive. Have a mint to get rid of the taste. Prepare a snack in case they stay for a long time. If you're hungry while they're there, you can take a discreet bite.

 

A few psychological tricks: Write down an encouraging thought, put it in your pocket, and you'll feel protected (if you let yourself). Smile for 5 minutes. Yes it's crazy but it will change your mood. Imagine that they're already there. Picture yourself handling it well, like an athlete rehearsing winning a race before it starts. Grant yourself 5 minutes of uninterrupted “no worries” time. It's easier than you think. Just make sure you do it well before your guests arrive.

 

In your bedroom, turn on the radio and burn some incense to create an instant sanctuary. Finally, lie down and listen to some relaxing music while you wait.

When visitors arrive

When they arrive, you'll probably have a lot on your mind. Maybe they'll have their eyes on you the whole time, expecting you to keep them entertained, right? And maybe you'll struggle to keep calm and distracted enough to get through it.

 

Relax. The key is to maintain control of your environment. Realise that this is easier than you might think. You already have everything you need, you just need to use it.

 

Have your water bottle ready, and designate a room where you can get away if you need to.

 

If a knock on the door or the sound of your doorbell is likely to make you jumpy, keep your door open. You'll most likely hear them calling you instead. Or if you prefer, walk outside and wait for them there. Decide what would make you more comfortable.

 

Have the TV on. When they arrive, there will be something going on to keep them occupied.

 

Start a conversation immediately. If there's more than one person, have them chat amongst themselves to take the attention and pressure off you. Let them take over and do most of the talking, and join in as much or as little as you like.

 

If you need to, leave the room for a while, compose yourself, and take a bite of your snack or a sip of your water.

 

If you need them to leave, just give the excuse, I mean reason...that you told them before. But try to hang in there.

 

You'll find that time will pass quickly, and you'll feel good about how you handled it, which will make it easier in future.

 

Now that you know how to make it easy on yourself, you can look forward to that moment at the end when you look back and laugh at how smooth and painless it was.

 

The feeling of having to “perform” for others can be eliminated simply by applying some forethought. I've shown you how easy it is to prepare for visitors, how to handle yourself when they're in your home, and how you can even invite them over yourself and remain in control.

 

It all boils down to giving yourself an escape plan to take the pressure off, using the time before they arrive to get mentally prepared, and then keeping them busy.

 

Put my suggestions into practise as soon as possible. I bet you'll surprise yourself!

 

Now, remember when we talked about walking around locally? Well, how about travelling a little bit further. Let's look at that next.

Summary

* Pick someone that you're comfortable with and ask them to come over until a certain time. Then decide if you want to have them for longer or send them home.

 

* Have something interesting prepared to show your visitor(s), or a conversation topic to keep the attention off you.

 

* Relax with light exercise and / or a shower, or splash water on your face.

 

* Eat something tasty and filling one hour before they arrive, and prepare a snack to pick at you if get hungry during their visit.

 

* Have your water bottle ready, and designate a room where you can get away if you need to.

 

* Lie down and listen to some relaxing music while you wait.

 

* When they arrive tell them that their visit might have to be cut short.

 

* If you feel a bit funny, leave the room, compose yourself and take a sip of water if you need to.

 

* If you need them to leave, just give the excuse that you told them about before. But try to hang in there.

Travelling

Overcoming the pressure of having visitors will go a long way to shaking you free of anxiety. But what about the tension that can arise when you're far from home? That can often be a major challenge. It certainly has been for me, ever since my train incident. Here we're going to look at short to medium journeys on public transport or in a car.

 

There's something about being a certain distance from home that can cause restlessness and worrying. It's easy to feel trapped and helpless.

 

The solution is to do everything you can to turn the situation on its head, so that it works in your favour. I'm going to show you how you can go on a short “practise” journey with some safety nets in place. Then we'll look at the different possible journeys that you might find yourself having (or wanting) to make.

 

As long as you don't let yourself become a stranger to the outside world, and you put my advice into practise, after a while travelling will become much less of a big deal. You'll even learn to love it.

Practise journey

Practise journeys are good for training yourself for when you really need to go somewhere. I recommend that you do them often to make travelling familiar and second nature. Planning and carrying out a practise journey is easy. Let me show you how it's done.

 

Get the timetables for all bus and train routes that go through your area. Plan a short journey, short enough that you could walk back. Just one or two bus stops or train stations away. Make a note of the relevant times.

 

Now try it out. Remember, you've eliminated long, nervous waiting times because you know when the next bus or train is coming. You've also given yourself the option to walk back home. If you don't know your local streets well, take a map. You're in complete control. Don't forget to take some music to listen to. You'll find yourself very occupied, and nothing can slow you down, so you'll have very little time if any to get anxious.

 

An alternative is to do it in reverse. Walk to your destination, perhaps following a bus route, then get public transport back home. Whatever you're comfortable with.

 

Repeat that journey until it's no longer challenging. Then try another. When you're ready, make your trips a bit longer to extend your Safe Zone.

 

Here's another idea: Get a street map, and the addresses and phone numbers of lots of cab places. Then mark them on the map. Now walk as far as you can manage. If you get that feeling of needing to be home asap, just call the nearest cab and tell them to put their foot down.

Public transport

Keeping calm on public transport might be tricky with all those other people around. But it really doesn't have to be a problem.

 

First off, usual drill, take your bumbag and water bottle.

 

Make sure you've got enough cash with you to be able to travel to where you need to get to,