Amorous, Ameera Butt [reading women txt] 📗

and love to keep Seldon happy then I would stay away from him. Evidentially he didn’t want me. He never needed me; all he actually wanted is the love from Leah. I realised at that moment I could of stop him and told him how much loved him. How priceless he was in my life but, I would scarify myself for him. Sure, I would never love again, sure I would never have that feeling again, and perhaps happiness has been lost forever. As long as Seldon was happy, I had no complaints.

“Well, it’s a pleasure having you all back, and I hope this year you will work much harder than last year because lets face it this year is much important!” My thoughts had started fading away now and I could hear Mr. Verang’s voice as it was getting louder as I reached to hear what he was saying. “Have a good year, of you go.” He continued and let us go to our lessons. I grabbed my bag and started walking of, when Stacy grabbed me and gave me a hug.
“Sally told me what happened.” she said sympathetically. “Ameesha, listen to me very carefully. I wish I only say this to you only once in life and I don’t have to repeat myself.” she expressed. I faced towards the floor as she spoke to me, worrying if a tear came out. “You need to forget him, and move on. Life gives you a lot and you need to take it all in. This isn’t you, you have never been like this, and you aren’t like this. And you NEVER, I repeat NEVER will be like this.” she explained to me. I gave a little sniff and realised if I spoke about this any second I will burst in tears. So I exhaled loudly and gave a fake smile and looked up towards Stacy.
“If I get late for my Maths lesson because of you, I will literally kill you.” I joked to her.
“Ha! You just try. But in case you do, we better run!” she said in a rush. We ran to our lesson.

Stacy wasn’t in my maths class; she was in the room next door. It seemed a little annoying but I had Sally in my maths. “This should be fun?” I guessed to myself. I took a deep breathe and knocked on the door and walked in. “Sorry Sir I didn’t know which class I was meant to be.” I said calmly. I notice Sally sitting at the back row with a girl who I didn’t know. I didn’t seem to recognise her; I think she was new to our collehe. I went and sat down next to Sally as she introduced me to the girl.
“This is Pamella. She’s new to our college and I’ve been told to take her to her lessons.” she explained to me.
“Hello there!” Pamella said excitedly.
“Hello.” I replied not energetically as she was. I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone really. Every time Sally would ask me something I wouldn’t answer back in detail. I suppose its depression? The lesson seemed so long, I remembered the time when maths was my favourite, and I would whiz through it so easily. Something had happened; I suppose this depression had affected my maths abilities. It even shocked me as well as Sally and my maths teacher Mr. Mucky. I had him last year for maths as well it was hilarious. I remembered when me and Sally use to laugh so much.
“Amsh?” Sally whispered to me. I could tell she was going to say something interesting, because when she called me ‘Amsh’ it always was something interesting after that. “Remember when we did those drawings of Mr Mucky?” she continued reminding me. I gave a little giggle and she continued speaking. “Do you still have those drawings?” she asked curiously.
“I think I have them somewhere at home?” I replied asking myself.
“Ha, okay.” she smiled saying.

“No don’t go, PLEASE! Don’t leave me…” I whispered to myself, realising I was actually saying it to Sally as I had a strong grip on her hand.
“Ameesha? What happened?” she said confusingly. I had then realised that I was day dreaming through the whole two lessons of maths. As I looked up towards Sally, I could see her confusion.
“Nothing I suppose I fell asleep or something.” I replied to her. I packed my book into my bag and held onto my bag and walked out with Sally and Pamella. As soon as we entered into another building to go to the radiators a girl ran up to Pamella. She seemed weird to be honest. A little too high, I predict she was new to college as well, so they both became friends? Sally gave me a laugh look and I turned my face around and walked towards the radiator. As I put my body against the heat someone had grabbed me hard from the back. I turned in a rush to see who it was.
“Hey Ameesha, you feel better now?” Abbey asked nicely.
“Hi Abbey, yeah I’m fine thanks and yourself? How have you been?” I asked pretending I really wanted a conversation.
“I’ve been great, went to France for the holidays, awesome place. I’d recommend it to everyone!” she said happily. “Have you seen Stacy I’ve been looking for her?” she asked.
“Aw that’s good, and no last time I saw her was when she went maths. We we’re just talking about…”
“…Seldon?” she interrupted.
“Yes.” I agreed.
“Don’t worry Ameesha you really do need to move on.” she said as if she knew everything. “Oh my god! You need to see this person, he’s just so awesome, I saw him this morning but everyone’s mood was just so weird so I didn’t say much.” she said interestingly.
“Oh, well next time you see him, you can show me who this crush of yours is.” I played.
“Boo!” Shay came from behind us and tried scaring. It was pointless I never got scared. I just watched Abbey jump as she got scared and then she giggled. As they both had a conversation I dragged myself to the edge of the radiator so I was alone and I looked at Stacy walk to the building. But something behind her took my focus of her...
Awareness

As Stacy walked to me a cold breeze of wind pushed against me and I turned around to get my front part of body heated against the radiator, leaving my focus. It was so loud in the building. Usually I was the loud person, so energetic and very talkative. I had lost my touch I suppose. I wasn’t aware of what I was doing now and of what I was thinking. I wasn’t aware of where my life is planning on taking me. I wasn’t aware of what will happen in the future. I wasn’t aware of all the happiness that I had gone through. I simply wasn’t aware of myself.

“Girl! We haven’t talked and seen each other n such a long time, like what the hell!” Sasha called standing next to me now. She seemed angry, so I had to come up with something to make her smile.
“Yello! I’m sorry I was rushing around in the morning, come here give me a cuddle.” I said joyfully. She came right into me and gave me such a big hug. I was aware that she was now happy. Everyone had gathered around me and Sasha. Sally, Abbey, Stacy and Shay all of them.
“Woah! That girl with Pamella, she’s mad! I say and trust me on this, stay away from her otherwise you’ll turn crazy as well.” Sally said imploding in laughter! I gave a forceful chuckle and stood out of the group. Abbey dragged Stacy to the side and started talking as Shay was complaining to Sasha about how hungry she was.
“Oh man, don’t talk about food in front of me; you know I get hungry easily!” Sally demanded. I gave a weird quiet laugh to that, whilst Shay gave her a weird look.
“Why don’t you go ahead to the canteen with Shay?” Sasha recommended to Sally. “And I’ll stay here with Ameesha.” she suggested, trying to get rid of Sally and Shay. I knew something was on her mind; she just wanted to say it in private.
“Yes.” I agreed. “Why don’t you two go a long and I’ll catch up with you in about five minutes.”
“Do you know how long the queue is going to be? MASSIVE! I can’t be bothered now. Come on Shay drop me to my technology lesson. Gosh I wish I have a better technology teacher this year!” Sally went on complaining.

As she walked of with Shay I look at Sasha and asked “so what is it?”
“What do you mean what is it?” Sasha hesitated.
“What did you want to say to me?” She looked into me with her watery eyes. Then she looked down thinking I didn’t see her wipe a tear drop.
“I don’t want you to listen to anyone Ameesha.” she expressed.
“What do you mean don’t listen to anyone?” I asked confused.
“The whole group knows about you and Seldon, and they will all come up with stuff to tell you, half of it…” she stopped herself and thought for a second, whilst I was trying to conclude to myself what she was trying to say. “Most of it will be absolutely rubbish. Just think and do what your heart says. I’m not going to give you any demands on how to live your life, who to like and who not to. But I will say think more than twice if you can before choosing something. Be aware of what you do or stuff can turn out to be bad. Just be logical!” she stood there in silence and the bell rang loud and broke the tension around us. “I think you should go to your next lesson before you get late, I’m heading of to mine now. See you later girl.” she said politely and headed of to lesson.
“Yeah, see you later.” I whispered behind her when she walked of.

It was September yet so much sun was directing on me. It was like a spot light, I preferred when it was cold and windy. The sun can get very annoying. Well if I hadn’t change something, that thing was being annoyed by the sun, it always reflected on me and I was aware of its big yellow existence. I think I prefer the moon more; in fact I love the moon. It shines so bright in the dark sky and shows us the way through stuff. I wish I had a moon in where I was trapped. I was aware knowing that I needed to get over Seldon. I know I’m never going to love someone else, or even feel for a person in the way I felt for Seldon, but I was aware I had to